Saturday, August 31, 2013

Good vs Evil~~A Battle For Our Inner Being

"The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual - for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost", M. Scott Peck


The capacity to do evil is ingrained in all of us. Evil creeps to the surface quietly and strikes out at anyone near us. It is a constant battle to control evil from crushing good and sending our lives into a downward spiral.

Some would call this a religious fight but I disagree. While religion professes to group together people to fight for their souls there battle is a fruitless one. My neighbor can not fight my battle. The battle of good versus evil is fought within the individual with victory or defeat playing out on our own personal battlefields.

Our own personal battle is not a 'Sunday go to meeting' engagement but rather an everyday war fought over our choices.

A child thinks to himself that he has 4 cents and that piece of candy costs 5 cents. Do I take it anyway? The war starts at an early age.

A person lies to gain income, the right marriage, a job or advancement. These decisions are caused by evil mixing into your ability to make a good choice.

Like any good soldier training is the key to winning the battle. Training starts at an early age with our parents acting as drill sergeants ingraining a good work ethic, a sense of family and discipline into our lives. They key to our lives lies in the family values we learn as a child.

Our parents belief system is what forms our thought processes and plays into all of our adult decisions. Any family absent good moral character will lay the foundation for the failure of their children.

Families are the basis for all our values. They should instill a sense of the importance of a good education at an early age. Families should, at all costs, keep children safe from temptations. Drugs, out of wedlock births, hunger and a weak educational system are breeding grounds for evils armies.

Most importantly; the family needs to lead by example. Every generation should be pushed higher up the success ladder by the previous generation.

Fight your inner demons kiddies and win your personal battle. Your children's paths will be easier if you do.

Randy

Friday, August 30, 2013

Good Intentions Never Filled An Empty Belly

"Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions; it's walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too", Aldous Huxley

Government has issued a constant drum beat of programs that on paper look like fixes for problems but upon failure of these programs we constantly hear, 'but their intentions were good'. I believe that to be the most insincere apology for failure that was ever uttered.



Good intentions fueled the 'war on poverty' and failed. Good intentions fueled improvements in education and failed. Good intentions fueled food stamps and failed. Instead these good intentions have helped develop a portion of society that is dependent on government for their existence.

We are a society in decline and the decline is caused by our failures to offer real solutions to real problems. Like so many societies before us our downfall comes from within. We are our own worse enemies. The lack of political courage in our leaders is frightening.

We allow the fringes of our political spectrum set our agenda. We allow 'political correctness' to drive our policies.

We watch our poor get poorer, our rich get richer and our government grow fatter while we sit back and worry about whether it is politically correct to criticize our elected leaders because we fear being labeled  racist, sexist or a homophobes.

Dr. King wanted people judged by the content of their character not the color of their skin, whether female or male or who they happen to share a bed. That is the goal we need to work toward.

The Christian Right with their antiquated thought processes need to be silenced. As does the fringe left with their wild and far flung ideas as to how everyone should lead their lives. We need to silence these wackos with common sense government whose goal is the improvement of the plight of the American people as a whole.

We need to grow a society less dependent on government. We need to stop trying to find bias at every turn. Poverty and poor education know no race, gender or sexual orientation.

We need to stop trying to live every one's lives and let them live their own.

Good Intentions be damned!!!!

Randy

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Get Off Miley's Back And Into Her Brain!!

"Given the imperfections of our society and the apparent downward spiral of spiritual and moral values in recent years, thinking has become a grave issue. It is more urgent now - perhaps more urgent than anything else - because it is the means by which we consider, decide and act upon everything in our increasingly complex world. If we don't begin to think well, it is highly likely that we may end up killing ourselves", M. Scot Peck

Do I believe that Miley Cyrus put on a disgusting immature display at the Video Music Awards? You Bet I do!!! But Miley is another product of the industry that produced people like Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes. Gaining stardom early in life and and desperate to hold on to it.



The truth is WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE!! We watch this stuff and worse we allow our children to watch it. We tolerate the antics of Madonna and Lady Gaga all the time ooooing and ahhhhing at those antics.

We buy music and watch films that objectify woman as sex objects and in some cases as punching bags. We make stars out of people that have no more talent than the ability to market a sex tape.

Bad behavior amongst those who seek fame is rampant. Case in point; a couple of years ago you could see pictures of the famous giving 'beaver shots' almost every day. Supposedly by accident, lol. But I believe that the first picture and maybe the second were by accident. The rest were planned accidents concocted to gain a little more relevance by desperate celebrities.

Yes Kiddies! We are responsible because we did not put out foot down and yell stop from the beginning.

That we allowed, through record and movie sales, violence against woman, lewd behavior and excessive violence in general.

We are responsible because we are a society that can not say NO to our children because we may hurt their psyche. Political correctness has undermined a parents control over their responsibilities toward their children.

Political Correctness is the single most element that degenerates our society because it blocks us from doing what we known is right.

So do not blame Miley for her behavior. Blame Billy Ray Cyrus for allowing it. Blame Disney for doing what ever it does that turned sweet Hannah Montana into Miley 'The Twerking Body' Cyrus.

Randy

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

What To Expect From Your Second Life Relationship

Second Life relationships are wonderful. I have had two partners in Second Life and both have been loving and caring experiences. But I have found that before going into any partnership in Second Life you have to be honest with what your expectations for that partnership are and more importantly what your partner wants out of it.

I am guilty of not thinking all this through before asking someone to share my Second Life. A mistake I will never make again.

I am just out of a wonderful partnership. She was loving, caring and loyal. Everything a man could want from a woman. But she was also a real life woman who deserved someone who could become real for her. She deserved real life happiness not just a pixel man whose life's mistakes did not allow him to run to her and give her what she needed.

This is not meant to be a confession of my shortfalls but rather a warning to anyone who is thinking about taking a partner in Second Life. Be honest with your prospective partner. Know what their goals are and understand your ability to fulfill them.

If you take the responsibility of partnership lightly; in the end you will hurt someone you care for deeply. That was my case. Two people who love each other but can not go beyond Second life.

My failures as a human being caused pain to someone that only deserves happiness. The sad thing is your partner will blame themselves when they are the good ones. I deeply apologize for causing pain.

If you indeed decide to partner, and you are incapable of ever going beyond Second Life, pick a partner that wants to leave the relationship pixelated. Believe me in  the long run it will be better for you both.

Loving someone can be hard enough on its own. Loving someone who loves you and who can not be in your life is much harder.

Randy

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Women Are Running The World!! Like That Is A Secret!!

"Judge me and I will prove you wrong. Tell me what to do and ill tell you off. Tell me I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. call me a bitch and I'll show you one. fuck me over and I'll do it to you twice as bad. Call me crazy but you really have no idea", source unknown.

Over the past few years more and more discoveries of ancient civilizations with female rulers have been unearthed. Women ruling in the ancient world is a fact. So is women ruling in the modern world. Men are just to dumb, egotistical and naive to admit it.


These days men still see women approaching with weapons at the ready but now these weapons are not knives or spears but ones of much greater danger. A whiff or perfume, a scent in their hair and the sultry movement of their hips are far greater weapons. These weapons attack a mans baser instincts or what I like to call 'The Little Head Syndrome'.

This occurs when a man sees a woman and transfers his thinking abilities from his brain to his crotch. Every man is guilty of this process. In making this transfer men give all the power to women. The penis may not have a brain but it does have incalculable control over men's thoughts and deeds.

Women, infinitely more intelligent and devious than men, know this and attack using means only available to their gender and do it in such a way that men believe that they are in charge.

I picture Michelle Obama rolling over and giving Barack his marching orders for the day.

Women determine what men buy, what they wear and where they are going and do it with such charm that men march right into the line of fire happily sacrificing their lives for the fleeting chance of women's touch or attention.

Hell!! Does any man really think that we thought up the idea of manscaping, lol. We happily go off to the store with shopping lists prepared by our women and proudly walk into the feminine hygiene isle and make their purchases. MANHOOD BE DAMNED!!

 


Remember this the next time you are put in the position of saying "Yes Dear! Anything You Say!".

Randy

Monday, August 26, 2013

Is Your Partner Boiling Your Bunny?

Is Your Partner Boiling Your Bunny? That is a question we all should ask when dating someone. Coming home to scenes of boiling bunnies is frightening indeed.


Marcrina Cooper-White in her article '11 Signs You May Be Dating A Sociopath' tries to describe ways to identify sociopath's behavior in the person you are dating.

Lets see how many of these traits I exhibit? HMMM!! This could ruin my dating situation but it's good for her to know, lol.

#1. Having an over sized ego.  Shit I am screwed from the get go. I do have, or at least use to have, an ego the size of Texas. So one for me being a sociopath.

#2. Lying and exhibiting manipulative behavior. I may have been guilty of this in my younger days. To may favor; I never lied about penis size, lol.  Anyway another one against me.

#3. Exhibiting a lack of empathy. Yay!! Finally one that I do not exhibit. If anything I show to much empathy.

#4. Showing a lack of remorse or shame. Another I do not exhibit. I have suffered bouts of shame, over something I did, that would stop an elephant in its tracks.

#5. Staying eerily calm in scary or dangerous situations. HMMM! So I do this but it's not because of being a sociopath but more out of military training that has taught me that panic kills. Not adding this to my list.

#6. Behaving irresponsibly or with extreme impulsively. I have been irresponsible when I was younger especially with finances. Will put a check mark on this for me.

#7. Having few friends. I have never been able to hold friends for long periods of time. I tend to drift off in a false sense of independence with a 'I can beat the world on my own' attitude. Another one checked.

#8. Being charming--but only superficially.  I have been told that I am charming but that is me being me. No superficiality here.

#9. Living by the "pleasure principle." Yep!! You got me. There was a time that my pleasure was forefront in my life. If it felt good I was there and damn the consequences. Check

#10. Showing disregard for societal norms. I have been known to break the rules and not feel bad about doing it. I once had a sense that I was above societies norms. Check

 #11. Having "intense" eyes. A final check on my report card.

So 7 out of 11. I can see my girlfriend headed for the door, lol.

But in truth life has beaten these traits out of me. With maturity comes clarity of oneself. That clarity lead me to who I am today.

I am no longer boiling bunnies. I AM THE BUNNY!!!

Randy

Thursday, August 22, 2013

What Is Loneliness?

According to the website Web Of Loneliness; 'According to the Existentialist, a human being's existence is a lonely existence. At the end of the day, we are all alone. Can anyone ever truly understand what it is to be you, to experience all the things you have experienced, to understand your joys and happiness, your pains and sorrows? Surely we can talk to other people about how we feel, we can draw pictures, we can play music, but all this attempt to communicate ultimately leaves something behind. We cannot always get our feelings, ideas or experiences across exactly. There is a painful reality that ultimately we are alone, by ourselves, and ultimately lonely.'

A somewhat clinical and psychological answer to the question.


I understand loneliness. Actually there are times that I feel like an expert on the subject. To me loneliness is the absence of quality interaction with other people. A life that is missing some of the essential building blocks needed to fill ones life with quality human interaction. Like love, daily contact with people that are meaningful to you or the opportunity to converse with someone about things that are meaningful to you. I suffer in part or wholly in all those areas.

My children are all grown and gone. I am divorced and live alone. My family is long distance. My car is broken down and to expensive to fix so I am stranded at home. I wake up each morning with no one to reach for, to say good morning to or share a cup of coffee. Basically the only time my phone rings is when someone feels compelled to sell me something.

I am starting to see some outward signs of this loneliness. Like increased conversations with myself. Which, as a writer, are not always a bad thing but self babbling is quite concerning. This babbling has even manifested itself in my singing loudly without concern for those that might hear me. If you heard my voice you would be scared.

There is a shroud of sadness that covers me 24/7 even though I am capable of concealing it and claiming that I am happy. Why is it that people can not admit their loneliness and sadness to others who might actually be able to help alleviate the situation? Embarrassment? Ego? A false sense of independence? In my case probably a bit of all three.

We all need to stay connected to our social institutions; marriage, work or groups that allow us to stay in touch with others. When our social institutions are deprived us we start to lose touch with things that keep us moving forward on a straight line.

Somehow I keep chugging on but at times I admit to being lost. The one thing I have always had was a vast sense of hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Hope that one day I will return to the social institutions that I crave.

In the mean time I spend my days looking, wanting and hoping like so many others.

Randy

High Heels, Women And Morning Wood

What makes a woman put on shoes that hurt and may well be detrimental to her muculoskeletal system?

Why do men love women in high heels?

How does this all tie into my morning wood experience?

Are you confused kiddies? Well you should be in my shoes, not high heels of course, when I dreamed about women walking in high heels and me watching from a perch high in a tree. In promise I was not drinking last night, lol.


I enjoyed researching this subject. Endless hours watching recordings of women walking in high heels was good for me.

It seems that women walking on high heels have an exaggerated gait which results in them walking more like a woman than when wearing flat shoes. So, as men's eyes are prone to do, men's gaze gravitates to this exaggerated womanly gait.

The movement of a woman is hypnotic. In this state of hypnosis men's bodily functions are taken over by 'the little head' and he finds himself in free fall to lust. I myself have experienced this phenomenon.

My research had made me conclude that a woman, while in high heels, moves seductively as an automatic response to the wear of said shoes. Hips swaying side to side, cheeks dropping and raising seductively, leg muscles taught from the foot position caused by her shoes and moving in perfect sequence almost like they are talking to a man's psyche.

The key for me is that a woman must actually be a woman. Not to young and with the battle scars of life plainly visible. A woman needs to be a bit seasoned to attract my dreams. A REAL woman that understands what those high heels are doing to her attractiveness.

Today I searched for hours for that tree from my dreams to no avail. But I look forward to sleep tonight and a return to that tree and the sights of women in high heels.

I just hope I have the strength to climb that damn tree, lol.

Randy

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

My Memories Are Starting To Slip Away

“There are edges around the black and every now and then a flash of color streaks out of the gray. But I can never really grasp any of the slivers of memories that emerge.”
― Katie McGarry, Pushing The Limits

That is exactly how I feel about my memories that are becoming increasingly more enshrouded in shadows.


Recently I joined a Face Book group that is made up of people who are from the same home town, in New Jersey, where I was raised. I am amazed at how much I have forgotten about living in Carteret, New Jersey. In my defense; I did graduate high school when I was16 and left for college never to return except for short stays with my mother. But still my memories, of what was a very good childhood, have faded badly.

Sometimes I think that my penchant for not staying in one place for any length of time when I was young filled me with so many memories, of so many places, that my earlier memories have been pushed to the bottom of my memory storage tank and can not make their way out.

There are always things you do not want to remember; like the stupidity of youth, bad relationships or work mistakes. But I have found that my memory of those mistakes seem to rush to the forefront at an easier pace than my good memories.

Memories of my parents, my grand parents and my very large family have stayed with me. I think that is because I think about them every day. The same is true of the memories of my children. But the little memories about where things were in town or of who did what to whom, whether good or bad, seem to escape me. Others in the Face Book group seem to have held onto those memories. Or maybe they do not actually admit how much they have forgotten. Food for thought.

I have to admit, to myself, that age and my recent illness have robbed me of many of these memories. No one looks forward to death but I hope that the old saying, 'My Life Passed Before My Eyes', is true. Then at least I can relive memories lost, good or bad.

All memories, all experiences are worth remembering. After all they are what makes us who we have become.

Randy

Monday, August 19, 2013

Poverty~~Will We Ever Learn

I hear the words 'war on poverty' and get very depressed. Humans have been fighting this war since they first appeared on Earth and losing. We lose when governments get involved and turn us into government dependent zombies with little incentive to climb into the middle class.



"I am for doing good for the poor. The best way is not making them easier in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. The more public provisions are provided the less they provide for themselves and of course become poorer."  Ben Franklin, Founding Father

Ben Franklin understood the value of living free of the governments handouts. The incentive to work hard and achieve is what puts value into ones life. Achieving success is what pulls people out of poverty and into independence.

I do believe that a government safety net is needed to help those that fall on hard times but this should be a temporary solution. Government assistance, in whatever form, needs to be spearheaded by a return to meaningful work. Re-education, job placement assistance and job search education should be the cornerstone of any assistance program.

Never ending food stamps, free cell phones and housing assistance without an attempt to foster independence is criminal.

Rewards of more assistance for children produced rather than the quality of life for those children already in the home is criminal.

The disintegration of the family unit through any assistance program is criminal.

"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." Buddha

Government assistance is the evil friend and he has injured the minds of those in poverty causing them to exist on handouts and never strive to improve.

Randy

Friday, August 16, 2013

Hempfest Starts Today

From the Hempfest website; 'Seattle Hempfest is the world’s largest annual cannabis protest rally. Celebrating its 22nd anniversary, Seattle Hempfest features six stages of music, world renowned speakers, hundreds of food, arts, crafts and political booths.'


I looked at the schedule, website~http://www.hempfest.org/festival/schedule/, and am amazed so many performers are involved. Amazed in the sense that I am 3000 miles away and can not attend.

Marijuana is now legal in Washington state so on a state level this is less of a protest than it has been in the past. A case could be made for it being a focal point for a national debate on legalization of marijuana.

I salute the Seattle Police in their approach to Hempfest. The police department is handing out bags of Doritos with information about Washington's new legalization law attached. So much nicer than spending their day arresting for possession.

Have fun Seattle!!

Be safe!!

Hug a police officer when he gives you Doritos!!

Randy

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Just Add Water Beer

Pat's Backcountry Beverages has invented 'just add water beer' so one can take beer on a camping trip and not have to carry the weight of canned beer. An interesting concept but I do not believe that Pat's has thought this marketing idea through to its full financial potential.

If a man has been backing packing, in a harsh environment, a beer just goes so far in quenching his thirst. A man, especially a burly outdoor type, has needs. A beer yes. A good meal. A warm fire. Secure shelter.

And of course;


                                          A 'just add water' WOMAN!!

She would be light to carry in his backpack. I imagine she would come in a variety of flavors and would be a willing participant in backwoods fun.

The only drawback I see is that once the new day arrives and his back country trip resumes she would be impossible to stuff back into his backpack for the days hike. Unless, of course, she could be dehydrated, repackaged and rehydrated when the days trek ends. Hmmmm!! I see the wheels turning in the minds of male researchers as I type.

I also picture this;



Angry women beating down my door like rabid zombies ready to feast on my brain just for thinking this up.

I wonder if I could calm them down with a suggestion that scientists work on a 'Just add water' man who has no ability to say no to every order they bark at him.

We could call it 'The Pussy Whipped Model' and sell him cheap.

Randy

Monday, August 12, 2013

National Orgasm Day~~Of Course I Missed It

While skimming the Internet late last week I came across an article written by Kristen Droesch titled '10 Insane (But True) Things That Cause Orgasms'.  This is a list of ways women have claimed to orgasm outside of the usual vaginal, masturbation or nocturnal orgasms.


1. Exercise-induced orgasms: Mainly sparked by core moves, you can get your rocks off at the gym or on the go.

2. Nipplegasms: All it takes is a little stimulation of the nipples to release oxytocin, the chemical responsible for the vaginal contractions of orgasm.

3. Mind orgasms: According to Lady Gaga, it’s possible to get yourself off just by thinking the right thoughts and breathing a certain way.

4. Labor-induced orgasms: Apparently, the motions of labor stimulate the same areas as, well, you know, leading to mid-labor orgasms.

5. Yawning: This one requires the antidepressant Clomipramine. A not unheard of side effect of Clomipramine is the orgasmic yawn.

6. Foot orgasm: A rare one, the single sufferer is believed to have had damage done to the sciatic nerve in her left foot during gallbladder surgery.

7. Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS): In a permanent state of increased blood flow to the sex organs, PSAS suffers have been known to orgasm as many as 200 times a day.

8. Breast feeding: Nerves connecting from the breasts to the sex organs are responsible of this strange one.

9. Riding horses: An oldy but a goodie, this old wives tale is a sure fire ticket to euphoria.

10. Eating junk food: For one Colorado woman, ice cream is what gets her rocks off.

HMMM!!! Notice that women are finding ways to eliminate men in the orgasm process?

Maybe because men see orgasms like this guy?

 

LOL! Yes I think that may be the reason and proof that most men are pigs.

Randy

PS...Here is the link to Kristen Droech's article; http://www.yourtango.com/2013189472/10-crazy-true-things-cause-orgasms

Friday, August 9, 2013

My Bucket List

My 65th birthday is today so I thought that it was time I wrote a bucket list. There are about a million things I wish I had done in my life but no one gets everything done. A few things on my list are personal, others are goals I have yet to reach and others are silly. In reality it's not much of a list.


~~High on my list is something that I am sure I will never get a chance to do unless I win the lottery. I want to visit my ancestral homes in Italy. I just want to be able to walk the streets my ancestors walked and learn more about them.

That would include Sermide in Lombardia where my paternal grandfather was born, Castelnovo Bariano in Veneto where my paternal grandmother was born, Polizzi Generosa in Sicily where my
maternal grandfather was born and Basilicata( I still need to do research on the exact village).

Funny story. My fathers parents, my grandparents, were born 20 miles from each other in Italy but did not meet until they had emigrated to America.

~~I want to see the book I am working on be published even if I have to self publish and give the books away never selling any of them. I guess I need another lottery win, lol.

~~I would like to attend one more big family event like a wedding. My family is gigantic and I have been outside of it for many years. Italian weddings are fantastic and being with all my relatives again would make me very happy.

~~Now this one is sort of silly but would be fun. I would like to spend a week with the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty. They are real, down to earth and seem to be what every family should be; loving and faithful to each other.

That's all I have on my list. I have done and seen a lot during my life and I am satisfied with that. For the most part I have found contentment in my life. Not everything is perfect. If I wanted perfection; I would not be human. Believe me I am human, lol.

Randy 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Redneck 'Blank' Games

Every summer in the Great State of Maine The Redneck 'Blank' games are held. The 'Blank' us to be the word Olympics until the International Olympic Committee threatened a law suite for using 'Olympics' in the name.

Organizer Harold Brooks changed the name under pressure from the International Olympics Committee, but noted that "everyone knows what the `blank' stands for."

No redneck event would go on without a beer tent, music, good food, a demolition derby for charity, lawn mower races, truck mud runs and camping and this event sports all of these and more. And all these activities are before the actually games begin.

Some of the redneck games events included bobbing for pigs' feet, toilet seat horseshoes and a greased watermelon relay race.

 
                                              The Redneck Torch


                                                 Mud Pit Diving


                                              Bobbing For Pigs' Feet

The idea behind the event, Brooks said, was to have what amounts to a great big outdoor picnic and pig roast for hardworking people who've earned the right to blow off some steam.

Being a redneck, he said, isn't about living in a trailer, or getting drunk.

"A redneck is someone who works hard. They say their neck is red because they work outside. A redneck can make fun of himself and have a good time," said Brooks.

Another truly American event. I am planning my trip to Maine for next years event.

Randy

PS....The bulk of this blog came from an article in the Huffington Post

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

No Peeing Off The Dock

Over the years I have heard nightmarish stories of people wanting Workers' Comp Insurance to cover their injuries. I heard of one guy who, while off of work and drinking a brand of beer that his company made, applied for Workers' Comp to pay his bills from a drunk driving accident.

There was a woman who had claimed that since her pregnancy was caused by a coworker she was entitled to Workers' Comp coverage.

But now, in a story that Saturday Night Live could have written, Gary Schwirse tried to get Workers' Comp to cover his injuries at a job site where he was drunk.

From an article by Nigel Daura titled 'Gary Schwirse Won't Get Workers' Comp For Injuries Suffered While Peeing On Dock'; 'Gary Schwirse drank at least nine beers and half-pint of whiskey on Jan. 8, 2006. While standing on a dock, he urinated and fell over a railing. At the hospital, he registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.25 percent.'


I can not comprehend how this man even got through his shift at work that drunk. His job was to collect cones and direct trucks. Can you imagine anyone drunk being in charge of directing traffic flow?

This case got all the way to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. What a colossal waste of money and time.

To paraphrase PT Barnum: “There’s an idiot born every minute”. This case certainly proves Mr Barnum's point.

Randy

Monday, August 5, 2013

My Life In Emails

I decided to live a day that is entirely influenced by my emails with particular emphasis on my spam folder.

So to that end I rose from a wonderful nights sleep to face my email infested day. My first problem became evident as soon as I opened my spam folder. I was torn between ordering a Russian Bride or taking advantage of  'Lonely Wife Hookups'. A massive dilemma that was only solved after I was guaranteed that my new Russian Bride would come with a razor and instructions on how to use it.



She arrives tomorrow. I had her shipped by UPS as I thought the regular mail service would take to long and I do not want her to arrive stale and yucky.

My next task was to apply for a 'reverse mortgage' to cover the cost of my new Russian Bride. She was not as expensive as an American Bride so I did not need much money but I needed to cover all my associated expenses.

As my new Russian Bride is just 25 years old I had to stock up on Viagra. My doctor also ordered Physical Therapy to improve my back strength and cardiovascular endurance. Have to keep my new bride happy, lol.

I am undergoing medical treatment to increase my testosterone levels. Every little bit helps.

In another move to be able to afford my new Russian Bride; I changed my car insurance and saved hundreds of dollars.

Some of my savings went into adding satellite television to my regular cable so she can watch the 'all Russian Network' until she learns English.

I also changed my telephone service to Vonage so she could call home as much as she wants. Now that's Crazy Generous, lol.

Finally I added life insurance with my children as beneficiaries so they will get some inheritance after my new Russian Bride rips me off and leaves me with a storeroom full of Viagra and an erection that lasts more then four hours.

Where the hell is my doctors phone number!!

Randy

PS...No Russian Brides were injured in the writing of this blog. And PLEASE~~to my Russian readers, and there seem to be many, this is satire and I do have great respect for the Russian People. Now give us Snowden back so we can fry that bastard, lol.

PSS...If every Russian woman looks like the pictures in the Russian Bride advertisements; what the hell is wrong with Russian men?

Thursday, August 1, 2013

My Morning

Walking in a park this morning, to the point of exhaustion, I laid down on the grass and stared up into the sky. Nature, in all it's forms, fascinates me.

Clouds drifting by
moist whiffs of white smoke forming familiar shapes
a dog there
a woman's head
a car with smoke pouring out of its tail pipe
a majestic mountain

A short distance from me baby squirrels play a game of tag. Jumping from tree to tree. One of my favorite things to watch.

A flock of geese landing in a field close by; happily walking as a group in search of water.

Children playing at the playground. I can hear one ask his mother, "Is that man sick mommy?" Referring to me laying on the grass. Her answer, "No dear he is just tired."

She is right. I am tired. Not physically but mentally tired.

Tired of life passing me by like a speeding train moving to fast for me to board.

Tired of missing my children spread around the country and my parents that have passed.

Tired of long lonely days spent in reflection and study. 

Tired of being self contained, standing on my own two feet, with no one to prop me up.

But in all this fatigue I have a lust for life. My mornings, spent enjoying nature, a highlight of my days.

Mornings like this give me great pleasure and set a very good tone for the rest of my day.

I am happy in my solitude and look forward to tomorrow.

Randy