“There are edges around the black and every now and then a flash of color streaks out of the gray. But I can never really grasp any of the slivers of memories that emerge.”
― Katie McGarry, Pushing The Limits
That is exactly how I feel about my memories that are becoming increasingly more enshrouded in shadows.
Recently I joined a Face Book group that is made up of people who are from the same home town, in New Jersey, where I was raised. I am amazed at how much I have forgotten about living in Carteret, New Jersey. In my defense; I did graduate high school when I was16 and left for college never to return except for short stays with my mother. But still my memories, of what was a very good childhood, have faded badly.
Sometimes I think that my penchant for not staying in one place for any length of time when I was young filled me with so many memories, of so many places, that my earlier memories have been pushed to the bottom of my memory storage tank and can not make their way out.
There are always things you do not want to remember; like the stupidity of youth, bad relationships or work mistakes. But I have found that my memory of those mistakes seem to rush to the forefront at an easier pace than my good memories.
Memories of my parents, my grand parents and my very large family have stayed with me. I think that is because I think about them every day. The same is true of the memories of my children. But the little memories about where things were in town or of who did what to whom, whether good or bad, seem to escape me. Others in the Face Book group seem to have held onto those memories. Or maybe they do not actually admit how much they have forgotten. Food for thought.
I have to admit, to myself, that age and my recent illness have robbed me of many of these memories. No one looks forward to death but I hope that the old saying, 'My Life Passed Before My Eyes', is true. Then at least I can relive memories lost, good or bad.
All memories, all experiences are worth remembering. After all they are what makes us who we have become.