Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Penis~~The Human GPS?

Evolution is an amazing process. Over time we evolve skills that make our lives easier. It is believed that men have better navigational skills than women. A theory that is put to the test with every cross country car trip men and women take together.

A new study by Dr. Layne Vashro believes that men developed superior navigational skills so they could travel farther distances in search of mates to father offspring.

"Navigational ability facilitates traveling longer distances and exploring new environments. And the farther you travel, the more likely you are to encounter new mating opportunities,” Dr. Layne Vashro, a postdoctoral researcher in anthropology at the University of Utah and the first author of the study, said in a written statement.

I hate to disagree with Dr. Vashro as most men can't find a hole in the ground with two hands and a woman giving them directions; let alone a mate hundreds of miles away.

His theory may have been true several hundred years ago or may be found in primitive tribes who are isolated from the modern world but modern man has long ago lost his internal GPS. For the most part we would never get anywhere if we did not have a woman as our copilot.

What modern man does possess is an innate ability to find a bar or club. Once found modern man will sit and wait for a woman so sail into his sight before stumbling like a fool to make contact with her.

Truth be told, modern women are the one with the superior navigational skills. They employ these superior kills to maneuver around schools of  hungry and mostly inept men while throwing back the minnows and keeping only the worthwhile catch.

I know I sound like I am bashing my own gender but all women know this stuff.

It may be time that men start asking for directions and stop making believe they know where they are going,


Sunday, November 16, 2014

Travels With My Family

Driving vacations, when I was young, usually meant that the Mantovani's and the Fauci's climbed into my uncle Steve's Studebaker and headed out on adventures that made a child's eyes big as saucers as the sights flew by our windows.

As I look back now, at what I saw as an adventure, I often wonder how we ever managed it. Uncle Steve was the driver, my dad rode shotgun with me on his lap and my cousin Lillian sitting between dad and my uncle. In the back seat my brother and cousin Larry were sandwiched between my mom and my aunt Theresa. Seat belts had not been invented and laws about over crowding cars were years off.

Our trips took us to the White Mountains of New York sate, Santa's Village at North Pole, NY where we saw our first live reindeer, weddings, funerals and trips into Brooklyn for Sunday dinner with our grand parents.

My first injury was sustained in that Studebaker when my father accidentally slammed my thumb when he was closing the door. I can still see the little heavily wooded rest stop where it happened. My dad, gentle man that he was, was horrified and my mom handled me like a pro. We were back on the road in 30 minutes and I had learned a lesson about car doors I take to heart to this day.

My favorite place to travel was Greenwood Lake, NY. We rented a summer house there and spent many happy summers away from the city. Our fathers would come up on weekends. Swimming every day, berry picking for our morning cereal, my first trip to a drive-in movie, fresh vegetables everyday and just being outdoors in the fresh air was an amazing thing for city kids.

I believe that my cousin and I discovered that girls were not icky at Greenwood Lake, lol.

We were four children, with wonderful parents, living the American dream and soaking in every minute.

When life gets tough I look back on these times and find my smile. I can still see Lillian, Gary, Larry and myself, all four of us, sitting on top of a giant reindeer statue smiling from ear to ear.

I'm smiling now!!!


Friday, November 14, 2014

Sometimes This Blog Writes Itself

"The Christmas stockings were hung by the chimney with delight".  The town of Kenova, West Virginia have taken that to heart.

I have always understood that we hang our Christmas decorations. But in Kenova they are HUNG.

The Hung Decorations Of Kenova 

This gives a whole new meaning to asking "Hows it hanging?" 

My concern is that the decorations were subjected to premature erection so early in the holiday season.

Sources. close to the crew that hung the decorations, state that originally the decorations had a downward angle but that one of their crew accidentally dropped his bottle of Viagra into the electrical grid and changed the direction of the erection. 

In a stroke of good luck the erection of these decorations have caused an increase of tourist traffic. The increased stimulation  of the communities money sack will allow the purchase of new decorations next holiday season.

The mayor stated that, "We will have to see these decorations through to the end of the season. Hopefully there will be a happy ending".


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Toys For Tots In Second Life

There is nothing more satisfying than watching the face of a child who is opening gifts Christmas morning. As y'all know not every child gets that experience. 

The Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Program is directed by the Commander, Marine Forces Reserve, with the assistance of his staff, from the Marine Forces Reserve Headquarters in New Orleans, Louisiana. It is a well run organization that has been operating since 1947. They deserve the support of all of us.

Tots For Tots, in Second Life, is in its sixth year. This year Rocky Hillburton and his wife Shannon Dubratt are co-chairs. You could not find two finer people then Rocky and Shannon. Along with Disisme Misfit, Porlatch Foggarty, Gracie Ddotterkelch and Marissa Goodlife they endeavor to put smiles on children's faces.

The 2014 Breedables Expo, in Second Life, will start November 15th and run through November 23rd. It will be held on two sims that have been donated by Amaretto Breedables and KittyCats Breedables. Besides the aforementioned sponsors over 40 other sponsors have donated time and talent to this effort.

Some 30 Second Life performers will be donating their shows to this event.

Please visit the Expo, enjoy the music and sims and above all give generously. There is nothing more important than a child's smiles.


For more information about Toys For Tots In Second Life:

FaceBook URL is
Web page http// (the web page tracks all donations.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Well That Didn't Work Out Like I Planned, Damn It!!

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might have well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default", J. K. Rowling.

One of the reasons I encouraged my children to play sports is because I wanted them to understand losing as well as winning. They needed to know the feeling of working for a goal and achieving it. They also needed to know the feeling of working toward a goal and not achieving it. In the lessons of achieving and failing are learned what life is about.

We have been raising generations of young people that were not allowed to experience failure at a young age. No winner/no loser sports leagues, no score keeping because some one's feelings might get hurt and everyone gets a trophy events were instituted to protect our young from the feeling of failure. At the same time we have given them the feeling that they are entitled to success even if not earned.

People spiral out of control when their protections are stripped away in the real world. Failures, instead of being learning experiences, become excuses to quit and blame the ones who have achieved for their failures.

Success is not the product of luck. It is the product of hard work, understanding failure and converting that failure into positive life moments.

The decisions we make for our kids, at an early age, are the architect or their adulthood. The greatest failure, of any parent, is to ill prepare your child for the realities of real life.

Real life does not hand out participation medals for trying and success is not measured in good intentions but rather in achievements forged from hard works and hard knocks.


Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Rise And Fall Of A Great Nation

"As a lobbyist, I was completely against term limits, and I know a lot of people are against term limits, and I was one of the leaders, because why? As a lobbyist, once you buy a congressional office, you don't have to re-buy that office in six years, right?", Jack Abramoff.

There are two main reasons great nations or empires have fallen through history; 1. They become so large in geographic size that they are very hard to manage and 2. Those in charge of the government are so involved with keeping their position that they govern with their fate in mind not the fate of the country.

We have reached that point with the the United States Senate and Congress.

In the case of Rome the territory they tried to govern was so large that the task was impossible. The United States Washington bureaucracy can be compared to controlling territory. Government has become so big and clumsy that control of all facets of government functions are becoming difficult to oversee. Examples, in recent days, can be seen in the CDC's handling of the Ebola scare, the TSA's many screw ups at our airports, the IRS's targeting of conservative groups, an out of control budget and a deficit crisis that boggles the mind.

Just like the Roman Senate; our Senate and Congressional elected officials are governing in ways that will protect their jobs rather than governing in a way that is best for the country as a whole. In this environment answers to the hard questions never materialize. Votes that matter are rare and party lines are followed at almost every turn.

Millions of dollars are wasted on elections. Hard decisions are pushed off to after elections as politicians try to stay away from making any decision that may hurt their re-election chances. The needs of the country be damned.

Until recently I did not believe in term limits. My thinking, which I now believe flawed, was that the longer they were in office, gaining experience, the better that they would govern. I was so wrong in that thinking.

It's time for term limits on national office holders. The question is; Do elected officials have the will power to impose term limits on themselves? My guess is NO!!


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Pollinated Humans Will Walk The Earth

"Pollen is essentially 'plant sperm'. Therefore this makes hay fever an STD. Since no one voluntarily takes in pollen, I've concluded we're all being raped by trees", Spirt Imvu.

Spirt Imvu has just scratched the surface of a diabolical plot hatched by Mother Nature to force 'reforestation' on humans. Humans have been rapping the Earth's forests for thousands of years and using trees as a means of making human life more comfortable while slowly exterminating the tree population.

Trees resembling this one are spearheading the assault on human women leaving many of them pregnant and eventually giving birth to 'saplings' that require transplanting into our gardens for all to see. These half human/half tree beings require constant care to help them achieve full potential.

No more will we be allowed to harvest this new breed for coffee tables causing the destruction of the 'coffee table book' industry and putting 10 or 12 people out of work.

The expense of tree surgeons will climb. Gardeners will have to become skilled in tree trimming as they will be responsible for regular haircuts, I mean leaf cuts, so the saplings will look good for when grandma comes to visit.

It is possible that government assistance will be needed to assist in the raising of the new human/tree species. Many of the mothers will be single and may need help with buying plant food and medical care. A new 10,000 page amendment will have to be added to the Affordable Care Act to cover these families.

All this was foretold in a movie from 1956.

Yes 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' tried to educate us early on but we did not listen. Those large pods were actually enlarged tree pollen molecules that were taking over human bodies.

You have been warned again. Wear surgical masks. Do not walk in the forests alone. Use the buddy system at all times. Women stay on the pill and use the day after pill post all nature walks.