Sunday, February 8, 2015

A Poop A Day Fixes Everything

I have a friend that always says, "Pooping is the answer to everything", and she is right. A quick look at the heavy concentration of pooping related advertising, that bombards us daily, proves that point.

Probiotics, yogurt and laxative advertisements fill our airways. For those of us who have reached advanced age; adult diaper commercials intone our need to assist with anal incontinence. It's a crap shoot of information that leads to only one possible solution; pooping is truly the answer to everything.

Doctors have know this for years. One of the questions they always ask us during examinations is, "How are your bowel movements?". My stock answer, " soft with a chance of last nights pasta making an appearance", seems to amuse my poop enthusiast of a physician.

All the important decisions, made throughout history, have been decided after a good poop. In a very very very unauthorized biography of Harry Truman he is purported to have said, "I'll let you know about that bomb thing when I am done pooping".

The Korean War would have ended with a peace treaty, rather than a case fire, if the North Koreans had decent bathroom facilities to assist them with their pooping needs.

 It is reported that Napoleon, Hitler, Genghis Kahn  and Stalin all suffered from poor pooping habits. Had they just had one decent poop they would have conquered the world.

Life is so fragile and now we know that it balances on a tightrope in search of a good morning poop.

For all you know;

May your good ideas be free flowing and your bad ones flushed away. HMMM!! I may put that on a business card, lol.


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