"Pollen is essentially 'plant sperm'. Therefore this makes hay fever an STD. Since no one voluntarily takes in pollen, I've concluded we're all being raped by trees", Spirt Imvu.
Spirt Imvu has just scratched the surface of a diabolical plot hatched by Mother Nature to force 'reforestation' on humans. Humans have been rapping the Earth's forests for thousands of years and using trees as a means of making human life more comfortable while slowly exterminating the tree population.
Trees resembling this one are spearheading the assault on human women leaving many of them pregnant and eventually giving birth to 'saplings' that require transplanting into our gardens for all to see. These half human/half tree beings require constant care to help them achieve full potential.
No more will we be allowed to harvest this new breed for coffee tables causing the destruction of the 'coffee table book' industry and putting 10 or 12 people out of work.
The expense of tree surgeons will climb. Gardeners will have to become skilled in tree trimming as they will be responsible for regular haircuts, I mean leaf cuts, so the saplings will look good for when grandma comes to visit.
It is possible that government assistance will be needed to assist in the raising of the new human/tree species. Many of the mothers will be single and may need help with buying plant food and medical care. A new 10,000 page amendment will have to be added to the Affordable Care Act to cover these families.
All this was foretold in a movie from 1956.
Yes 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' tried to educate us early on but we did not listen. Those large pods were actually enlarged tree pollen molecules that were taking over human bodies.
You have been warned again. Wear surgical masks. Do not walk in the forests alone. Use the buddy system at all times. Women stay on the pill and use the day after pill post all nature walks.
AND FOR GODS SAKE!! MEN DO NOT BEND OVER WHEN IN THE FOREST. A NATURE WALK COULD TURN INTO A 'B' PRISON MOVIE IF YOU DO.