Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Planet Of The Goats

One would think that with my Italian heritage I would favor certain toppings on my pizza; like peperoni, sausage and lots of mozzarella cheese. But the best pizza I ever had was in Sweden; a goat cheese and basil pizza that just rocked. Since that time I have been a very big fan of goat cheese dishes.

But my obsession with this creamy cheese delight has lulled me to sleep as to the danger of the animals that are responsible for its creation. Goats!! The most vicious animal on the planet and they are flying under the radar by using their cute young as camouflage.

These killers are secretly planning to usurp the status humans presently hold. Slowly they lull us to sleep with recipes like Rigatoni with eggplant, mushrooms and Goat cheese with Asparagus quesadillas. My stomach rumbles at these tempting dishes.

But I know their plan. First they will get us hooked on these delectable dishes then they will start denying them to us after we are hooked. The prices will rise and many of the addicted will turn to crime to support their goat cheese habit. There will be prisons filled with goat cheese lovers leaving the human young alone and unprotected.

First they will attack infrastructure and transportation cutting off our means of escape.


We will start to see them carry firearms openly in defiance of our laws.

Finally the religious radicals among them will openly practice pagan rituals that have been hidden for many years.

This will be continued until they control the planet and humans are forced to produce Human Cheese that the goats will consume at their pagan rituals.

The next scream you hear will not be that of a goat, as so many are touting , but that scream you hear will be that of the human race as it is usurped into extinction.

On Second Life goats will have gestures that say, "Screams Like A Human", and they will all laugh in unison at the pathetic state of humanity.


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