Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Lives Of Young Tater Tots Are At Stake

Known by many names, tater tots in the USA, potato gems/potato royals/ potato pom-poms in Australia,  potato crunchies in the United Kingdom and spud puppies in Canada these little deep fried shredded potatoes have been delighting kids for 60 years. We grew up with them covered in ketchup and riding on plates next to hot dogs or hamburgers.

But today we find our beloved tots in desperate need. Drought conditions are causing a shortage of available potatoes to produce tots. Tots are an offspring of whole potatoes. Many times they are made by using the small slivers of potato left over after larger forms, like french fries or potato cakes, are produced.

This shortage of parental potatoes has left many tots living in poor conditions where it has been difficult for parental potatoes to put clean water and rich soil on the table to assist with tot development. This has led to an inability ,of these beleaguered potato parents, to provide quality recreational opportunities for their tots.

To that end I am calling on all tater tot lovers, from all over the world, to support a new charity.

Toys for Tater Tots

If we do not assist in providing educational and recreational toys for young tots we run the risk of producing generations of stupid, out of shape and ill tasting tots. By not helping many of these tots will lose sight of their roots and not understand that they have a major role to play in human child development.

I have enlisted some celebrities to assist this most noble cause.

A sample campaign advertisement

Mr & Mrs Potato Head and their children are on the Toys for Tater Tots board of directors
I fear for a world without tater tots. I predict anarchy in the streets. Violent protests by parents at their wits end because they can not provide tots to their children. I predict the bankruptcy of the major ketchup companies for a lack of places to stick their products.
I also see a rise in guys like this.

Don't let your life be taken by a tater tot addicted maniac. Support Toys for Tater Tots.

Your freaking life may depend on it!!!


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