Friday, October 28, 2011

Please Read The Question In Paragraph #1?~~~My Life Is A Very Funny Place To Live!!

Here we go!!!

What do you get when you combine problems with my debit card, a couple wearing Bill & Hilary Clinton masks, a very touchy bank teller and a bank guard that reminds me of Barney Fife?

Think!! Think!! Think!!

Yeppers!! Y'all got it!!  RANDY'S FRIDAY MORNING!!!

Lets start at the beginning. I have been having problems with my debit card for about a week now. Even at Wal-Mart which is frustrating because there you can pay in any acceptable currency, dollars, goats, chickens. children and whatever has value to Papa Walton.

I have called the bank several times but this morning I decided to show up and talk to someone in person. I so should have stayed home, lol.

So I am standing at the counter talking with a teller about my problem. A very pleasant conversation that was yielding no positive results as the banks 'debit card system' was still in the process of being repaired.

Before I forget!! There are signs attached to all the entry doors, similar to the example that follows, for obvious reasons. It is a bank after all.

Now with that sign in mind; in walks two teenage rocket scientists wearing 'Bill & Hilary Clinton' masks. One of the most frightening sights I have ever seen, lol.

Mr & Mrs Clinton happily approach the counter laughing and having a good time. It is Friday so they were probably going to make a withdrawal to by condoms. The bank teller, who has been in the bank during an actual robbery, yells for a bank manager, pushes the alarm and ducks.

All hell is breaking loose and I am just standing looking at this scene like I am having an 'out of body experience'.

The back manager rushes out of her office, Bill and Hillary are hugging and  the bank teller is hiding when to our rescue comes Barney Fife. This is no exaggeration; Barney is at least 70 years old. He should have been at home spoiling his grand children and no where near a gun. OH YEAH!! HE HAD A GUN AND IT WAS LOADED!!

Seeing him approach I started to move to the end of the counter and away from him; I thought!! I do not believe he could see more than 2 feet in front of his face and really had no idea where he was pointing the gun. Plus he had tremors, like he had Parkinson's, so the gun was flailing around like one of those 'rhythmic gymnastics girls ribbons'.

Poor Bill & Hilary, who turn out to be 17 year old's on a break from the local high school, were laying prone on the floor looking for who was robbing the bank. They seemed not to realize that they were the 'bank robbers'.

I wanted to yell; "take of the F$$King masks off" so this would all end and I could back to the relative safety of Second Life, lol. (Side Bar here~~My beautiful New Second Life Bride mentioned that I seem to use the word 'Fuck' a lot in my blog. So as a concession to her I will stop using the fucking word fuck in this fucking blog. OK babe it's out of my system, lol.)

At this point the police rush in; we all are told to hit the floor, I think Bill and Hilary shit their pants, a real police officer took the gun away from Barney and my FREAKING debit card still dose not work at Wal-Mart.

The bank manager and the police got every thing straightened out, the teens were taken back to school and will have their parents deal with punishments, the bank teller was finally calmed down by one of her colleagues and Barney Fife was sent home for what I am hoping is a permanent vacation.

In my grief over my debit card situation; I went to a local farmer and purchased two of his children, in cash of course, to use as payment of my my groceries at Wal-Mart. They were readily accepted as full payment.

If only the parents of Bill and Hilary would have listened to this sound advice from our 'beloved' Barney Fife.

'Well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters going wrong, you've got to nip it in the bud.'

Love ya,

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