Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What Does A Lesbian Bring To A Second Date?

It is an old joke with two punch lines:

What Does A Lesbian Bring To A Second Date?~~~Second Date? What's That?

What Does A Lesbian Bring To A Second Date?~~~A Uhaul Trailer!!

It is true, and this has been my experience over the 18 years I have been out, that holding on to relationships within the Lesbian Community are fleeting at best. I have always thought, and strongly believe, that because WE have not historically been allowed marriage that Fidelity was never a goal of many of us. No Legal Marriage means No Commitment means No Penalties for Infidelity leading us to Partner Flipping on a Whim.

It is just the way it was! But it was never the way WE wanted it to be. I have always wanted to have a Life Partner, recognized by society as my Legal Partner. I have always wanted a Family of my own, children, house, garden, white picket fence. Every thing that Heterosexuals have and that many of them take for granted.

Statistics from The Netherlands, the first country to legalize same sex marriage Ten Years Ago, are somewhat discouraging in that the Divorce rate of Same Sex Couples is high but no higher than that of Hetero Couples. The other thing that is somewhat disappointing is that Same Sex Couples are not taking advantage of their right to Legal Marriage. 

I take two things away from The Netherlands Experience; 1. That there seems to be no Societal Pressure for marriage in general, and I quote an Institute for Marriage and Public Policy Brief, 'Nine in ten couples plan to live together before marrying and two-thirds of cohabiting couples plan to marry "but keep postponing marriage.' 2. In The Netherlands Same Sex Couples have a Civil Union Option that affords them all the benefits of Traditional Marriage. In effect 'Marriage Lite'.

I believe that we will see similar results after Ten Years of Legalized Same Sex Marriage here in the USA.

What I do no think we will see is a Decline in our Moral Standards, as some predict, because of same Sex Marriage. Actually we should see an Improved Moral Environment as Same Sex Marriage takes hold and The Family Unit begins to grow.

I see Families, children, houses turning into Homes, gardens and white picket fences becoming the Norm and in time we will look back on The Dark Ages Of Same Sex Marriage and wonder 'What The Fuss Was All About.'

Love ya,

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