Friday, February 25, 2011

Holy $%&#!! I Am Part Of The Human Race??

So much crap runs around in my head. It is amazing that I sleep at all.  First of all; Human Race, Why?  Why is it a race? And if it is actually a race; WE ARE LOSING IT!!

Ok! Homo Gautengensis, Homo Erectus and Home Sapien go into a bar~~nah that's not working. They never would travel together. To many differences in eating habits. Lets get back on track.

The discovery that I am a Human Being has sent me into a tizzy. I so feel like I am above this humble, misunderstood and unreliable group of beings. Look at this goofy group. There is just no way I am part of this family.

                                I have got to prove that I am not in this race.

Monkeys are superior to men in this:  When a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.
~~Malcolm de Chazal

Now we are talking. When I look in the mirror I see a woman of stature and grace. Standing upright and well groomed. All hairs in their correct places and professionally woman scaped.

Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire.
~~Robert Brault

OK! I never received a questionnaire but I must have been sent one. If these Humans are in charge of the mail; well no wonder my questionnaire never arrived. But I can guarantee you that I would have scored much higher than this Human group.

Ocean:  A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
~~Ambrose Bierce

I do not have gills but I can swim. Refer back to that picture of The Human Race. None of those losers can swim.

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
~~Mark Twain

So as I understand this Noah guy. God told him a flood was coming and everything would be destroyed. So instead of helping save The Human race; he fills the boat with animals. Even the ugly ones. I think the Humans were losing this race long before I came along.

If man were relieved of all superstition, and all prejudice, and had replaced these with a keen sensitivity to his real environment, and moreover had achieved a level of communication so simplified that one syllable could express his every thought, then he would have achieved the level of intelligence already achieved by his dog.
~~Robert Brault

I love my dog and she really is more intelligent than many Human Beings I come across. But she is no match for me in many categories. For example, I have the use of toilet paper, you know what that's for right? Well my dog licks her butt clean. Now even if I had the flexibility to stretch my head around to my butt; I would still reach for the toilet paper.  Now who is the higher species here.

There is just no way that I am in any sort of race with this guy or any of his genetic relatives.

Please refer back to yesterdays Blog. If the destruction of the earth causes me to move SOMEPLACE ELSE; I can guarantee you that I will not be part of that mans race in any form. I must be SOMEONE ELSE.

Love ya all even if you may be human,

PS...I'm only human. I make mistakes. But I've learned from experience, that those mistakes, are what makes life worth while.

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