Monday, July 30, 2012

When Did You Choose?

A lot has been written about sexual orientation being a choice for gay men and women and although I do not believe that it is a choice those that hold to that premise are firm in their beliefs.

If homosexuality is a choice than being straight must also be a choice. There has been quite a bit written about the choice to be straight lately.

My problem with choice of sexual orientation is that I personally do not remember making a choice to be straight. I do not remember ever even thinking about whether I preferred men or women. But apparently somewhere along the line I made my choice.

I have been wracking my brain all morning looking for that defining moment when I decided I liked eating tacos rather than hot dogs( a reference to a line in the movie 50 First dates).

What day was it that I looked at the makeup of a man and decided that a heart shaped ass, perky breasts and rounded hips were for me?

I remember staring at 'girly magazines in my friends basement when I was 12 and liking it. I remember trying my hardest to catch a glimpse of my friends sister's bra on many many occasions.

My first sexual experience,with a female  at age 14, was more confusing than choice affirming. But put all together these experiences seem to be pointing me down the heterosexual highway.

But wait!! I love musicals to the point that I bought the sound tracks and sing along with them.

I love being well dressed and neat. I loved my male image much more when my muscles were firm, my hair was dark brown and all there and before the ravages of getting older sent many of my body parts in s southerly direction.

So were these things pointing me in the direction of homosexual freeway?

It is no wonder that our teen years are so confusing. Besides all the pressures of growing up we are faced with what is arguably our most important decision.

Am I Gay or Straight?

Here I am in my waining years and still I have no idea when I made my choice to be heterosexual.

It bothers me that I do not know. Did I put more thought into what car I would drive than I did into who I sleep with?

Did I subconsciously choose the easy road of heterosexuality because I knew deep down inside that choosing to be a homosexual was such a harder life course? 

Am I lying to myself? Am I a coward?

An awful lot of questions right?

In reality an awful lot of unnecessary questions. Because kiddies I did not choose, consciously or subconsciously, to be a heterosexual. I was born straight!!!!!

Homosexuals were born homosexuals!!!

There was no choice for me and there was no choice for them. All there is is life to be lived.


PS......To the members of the Westboro Baptist Church~~Your place in hell awaits.

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