Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Fun And Games Of Dementia

I am approaching my 101st birthday, according to my Second Life partner, lol. As I look at myself in the mirror, and this is not an easy thing for a 101 year old to do, I see the changes of time staining my body.

I look upon myself as a work in progress but one in which the government is in charge of taking the lowest bids for my work and I am stuck in a limbo of sagging skin, development of man boobs and and an ass that looks and feels like a half filled sand bag.

To further complicate my situation I may be starting to lose me memory. So I took particular interest in an article entitled '11 Early Signs Of Dementia'. A review of them may help some of you older farts who are approaching 100, lol.

~ Frequent Falling~I do not have this one except when I am trying to walk my hound dog on a leash. Hound doge and leashes are not compatible.

~Missing Sarcasm~I never miss sarcasm, that I can remember, as it is part of my everyday conversational makeup. This may explain why I do not have many friends.

~A Disregard for the Law~Again, I do not fall into this category. I have great regard for the law although I can not always separate 'my law' from yours.

~Staring~ OK you got me here. I do stare at people a lot. People not inanimate objects. My favorite place to stare at people is while sitting on a bench outside of Victoria Secrets. This serves this old man in several ways; 1. I get exercise walking around the mall, 2. I fulfill the fantasies only an old man can have while looking at younger beautiful women and 3. I get a good laugh seeing 'Bertha Butt' trying to squeeze into something meant for a much younger and svelte woman.

~Eating Objects~ LOL! WTH! Nope I only eat what is meant to be eaten.

~Losing Knowledge~Got me again. I am constantly looking up information that I knew before. At least I think I knew it before.

~Losing Empathy~I can think of only two areas where I have lost my empathy and they are politics and dealing with stupid people. In my defense, I have always felt a disdain for stupid people and politicians, being what most of them are, fall into the stupid category. So maybe I can think of only one thing being these seem to be one in the same.

~Ignoring Embarrassment~I do not embarrass easily and am guilty of embarrassing others so I may have this one.

~Compulsive, Ritualistic Behaviors~I am not a hoarder but I am compulsive about some things. Like cleanliness and order in my home. I am also compulsive about the collecting of information that I deem possibly useful in the future. Hence all the post its and notes cohabiting my house.

~Money Troubles~ HAHAHA! Lets not even go here. Suffice it to say "Don't we all!"

When I tally up my score here I am not doing so bad really. Maybe dementia has not set in yet. Not bad for a 101 year old, lol.

My only real concern is what I call 'Walk To The Kitchen And Forget Syndrome'. It is a function of short term memory. We all suffer from it. You get up from whatever you are doing with a goal in mind only to forget what you got up to do.

It is really not a problem unless I count getting up to pee and forgetting why I am waking about, lol. Maybe 'adult diapers' should be in that list.


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