But I have this belief that if we do not face our unpleasant circumstances, especially when it is a satiation that we can remedy, we will not be prepared to face any unpleasant things that are unavoidable. There are always unavoidable unpleasntries that crop up in our lives.
“Most people have come to prefer certain of life’s experiences and deny and reject others, unaware of the value of the hidden things that may come wrapped in plain and even ugly paper. In avoiding all pain and seeking comfort at all costs, we may be left without intimacy or compassion; in rejecting change and risk we often cheat ourselves of the quest; in denying our suffering we may never know our strength or our greatness.”
When I first got sick last month I totally denied the seriousness of my situation. After all I never get sick. I am a rock that keeps on rolling down that hill smashing everything in my path and coming out smelling like a rose. So when my rock fell into a little indentation in the ground I went into denial and let that little indentation turn into a widening crevice. My avoidance reflex kicked in and my common sense went on vacation.
Throughout history our species has used 'The Art Of Avoidance' to sweep aside things that we knew were wrong but our 'out of sight, out of mind avoidance relfex' kicked in and gave us , what we believed, was a rational reason to avoid that situation.
The Holocaust comes to my mind immediately when I think of 'mass avoidance' of a situation. It was to unbelievable for us to take it seriously so we avoided addressing it, even when mounting evidence was building up. Not until our soldiers, in the field, saw the atrocities first hand did we start to come to grips with this tragedy.
Quite a leap from my pill avoidance to The Holocaust but I think you may be starting to see my point.
Experience is the best teacher. Experiencing both pleasurable and unpleasurable life situations is necessary to our mental growth. These experiences help us build 'coping mechanisms', to deal with the unpleasantness when it arrives.
I know that, as a parent, we try and shield our children from all the unpleasant things that come up n their lives. Are we doing them a favor? I think not! I tend to think that we are over protective and foster the 'avoidance reflex ' in our children. We are not preparing them for what may come their way.
Of course children need to be protected from the hideousness of our lives especially at a young age. But there are situations that can be used as teaching tools to improve children's ability to cope.
In the end it is the parents duty to filter these situations and decide which are appropriate for their children to be presented for educational purposes.
I know!!! I just threw another monkey wrench into 'the parenting handbook'. I love to make y'all think.