Friday, September 23, 2011

My Own Personal Yellow Brick Road!!

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”~~Frederick Keonig

After a week of angry blogs I was reminded, last night, that I was a 'Glass Half Full' kind of person. So this morning I washed my glass so I could see a little more clearly and find that I am in a much better mood. I will also admit to you that I have avoided looking at the news so far today so my 'pissed off factor' is quite low.

Frederick Keonig's quote made me pause and give thought to what is important in my life. I could even carry Mr. Keonig's quote a little farther than he did in saying that when I sit back and survey my life, realizing and appreciating what I do have, I do get more than a man deserves.

I have four fantastic children that I can be very proud of and that are my legacy. Legacy has always been a concern of mine. The concern has always been that I would not leave one. But all the while I was concerned about my legacy; it was growing up right in front of me in the form of my children.

This is my youngest daughter Andrea(17yo in maroon) doing what she loves to do. Now kiddies that is a legacy.

My life has not been a picnic but when I take into account where I have been and what I have accomplished over its span all in all it has been a good life. I am not rich but I have enough.

I have found love, lost love and found it again. That puts me in very good company. My Real Life relationships have been a mess for a long time but when I look at my children I know that they are worth the pain. They make it more than bearable.

My Second Life relationships have had there ups and downs but in truth mostly ups. A Forty Month relationship ended recently because of my stupidity but again I would not change a thing because if I did that relationship would never have existed.  To every one's surprise, I am sure, we are still friends and talk several times a week trough email and IM inworld. Thinkie is an amazing woman, even if she does not see that, who I will always love and always feel close too. The fog will clear one day babe!

In times of despair funny and sometimes wonderful things happen. A simple question like "Why are you standing in the back of the room?"; has turned into a budding relationship and friendship that may well have saved my life. NO! I was not suicidal! I love myself way to much to ever do anything like that.

What I mean really is that she, Friendly Story, reached down and pulled me to my feet. She dusted me off, sent me to buy some decent clothes, made me look like a serious person inworld and generally took care of me and has given me a life. Friendly, upon reading that, will say as she did last night, "We have a relationship and we both contribute". But I know, given my history, that she is our glue. For that I am eternally grateful and for having my love returned ten fold is a blessing I cherish.

Does one relationship tarnish the other in any way? I do not think so. Each had/has its day in the sun light and each is a wonderful experience along my personal 'yellow brick road'. The difference in the two is simple really. Now I am me!!! No white wash and no glitter. Just me to the bare bones and that will never change again.

So why am I so angry all the time. It certainly has nothing to do with my relationships or my 'legacy quest'. I have decided that I just plain hate 'stupid people' and have this need to reach out and bat them in the head at every turn. I can assure you this will not change.

So all in all life is good. I am loved, I have been loved and my 'yellow brick road' while a tad tarnished is starting to show some shine.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”~~Anonymous

For the first eight months I wrote this blog my signature, ending each day. was the same. Lately I have just written my name. It's time to recover.

Love ya,

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