Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Minting Of A New Second Life Man~~A Penis~ Is A Penis~ Is A Penis~Or Maybe Not?

When a Male Human is born into First Life he comes with all his parts attached and in most cases attached in the proper places. As we grow and mature all our parts grow along with us. Of course some men seem to have a more robust growth in certain areas. I must have been out for a piece of apple pie when God opened up the line to distribute large penises to the masses. Damn I hope that was a really really really good piece of pie, lol.

In Second Life the male avatar is born sans penis and looking like a deformed Ken Doll. I think Malibu Barbie must have run from the room, the first time Ken dropped his pants, screaming 'Where's the beef? Where's the beef?'  Come to think of it I have had that reaction a few times over the years. Damned Apple Pie!!

I did not know if I even wanted to have a penis in Second Life. I always believed that making love was mostly a mental activity so maybe I did not need one. Nah!! I wanted to be complete. Even if the appendage went into my inventory at least if the opportunity arose to use it I would not be rushing out to a store mid passion like a teenage boy in desperate need of a condom.

My first mistake was to tell two new and well meaning female friends that I was going on this shopping trip. They showed more enthusiasm for the activity than I did, and since this was my first experience at the Xcite store, I agreed to let them come along.


Let me give you a quick overview of this ill fated journey. I am changing their names because they are both partnered, there partners must have had Second Life Bowling League this particular night, and I do not want to out them, lol. Some lines that passed between us this night:

Lila: Do they have demos for men?
Ann: I don't know but if they do Night can wear the demo and we can make sure it works.

Lila: Will there be dressing rooms?
Ann: I don't care! I am going as my Alt anyway.

Ann: Don't touch anything sticky.
Lila:OOOO,,Sticky is good!

And on and on it went for an hour. They wanted to touch, feel, fondle, rub, elongate and stuff any demo they could get there hands on into their virtual purses and take them home for further,,mmmm,,study, lol. Thank God I saw no demos!!!

To say the least I left the store, shall we say, empty handed or maybe as Ken like as I entered. I logged off with a vow to rethink this entire process.

Next day I went, alone, to get this done and over with. If you have never been to the Xcite store you should go just for the experience. As you enter women go right and men go left, each into their own departments.

Shopping for a penis in Second Life is much akin to buying a new car with the exception that there are more OPTIONS for the informed penis purchaser. In Real Life the penis can and does have options available but in Second Life you can load that baby up with just about anything anyone has ever dreamed of.

There is a pecking order to your experience. A sort of Assembly Line for Penis Development. First you purchase a HUD to control your new appendage. Then you step down the line, there are arrows in the floor to follow so you can not get lost. Next you purchase your Cock. There are several different models and I picture men, in front of their computers, pants around their ankles saying 'Well that one looks like me,,A little bigger I think.'  NO! I didn't do that because a my age I know what my critter looks like; my memory is quite bad now but I still know my way down to my playground, lol.

Once you decide on a Bat you need to choose some accompanying Balls. There was a lot of thought put into BALLS by the people at Xcite. Large ones, small ones, hang even, hand left, hang right. OMG! Now I am up with my pants around my ankles to see where the hell I am hanging today, lol.

Having made my ball choice I then chose color, pubic hair,  looked at all the adornments and cringed a bit and then checked out and headed home to unwrap my new toy.  What you will find, when you open your package, pun intended, is that some of the things you purchased are not there. DO NOT GET EXCITED AND RUSH BACK TO THE STORE AND DEMAND A REFUND!! You simply put in your HUD and the nice people at Xcite send you your equipment through the air, get it synchronized with your body and BAM you are a fully functioning man.

 I was told by a woman, after lamenting about the lack of instructions that came with my purchase, that all I had to do was wear it and the woman would control it. I am liking this a lot.

So after playing with your new toy,,and I know every purchaser plays with it, lol, you tuck it away in your inventory for that intimate moment that may never come. BECAUSE THE BIGGEST COCK IN THE WORLD WILL NOT GET A DICK LAID!!!

OH!! For me the funnest thing to do was put on the HUD and play with the Withdraw and Extend Button. You can make that critter dance like a puppet. IT'S IN! IT'S OUT! IT'S IN! IT'S OUT! IT'S IN! Fun, Fun, Fun, lol. That is probably the most action this critter will get!!!

Love ya,

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