About a year ago my son came out as transgender. It was a shock. I had no idea. There were tears and sadness when I was alone. But then I saw how happy he was, pronoun problem again, she was and I set out to try and understand. She told me that she has known for many years.
So I wondered where I had gone wrong? How had I failed her? The truth is there was no failures or wrong turns. It was God's will and I have come to accept it.
Tomorrow she has her first operation in this transition. As any parent would be; I am scared and apprehensive. My mind wanders to her childhood.
Where is that little boy who could not say, 'it does not matter' but instead said, "It doesn't make a matter." Or the boy who named a road 'The Tractor Way' because it was always under construction and always asked me to drive that way to take him to his babysitter. Or the little boy who was to shy to walk in a preschool parade, inside a gym, and I had to walk, holding his hand, in the parade with him.
I thought about these things yesterday morning and then had a good cry. That little boy is still with me. But now he is what she always knew was her truth.
Nothing is black and white. We live in a world full of colors. The brighter those colors are the more fulfilled our lives become. My son's colors have become so much brighter.
So tomorrow I give up my son and welcome my fourth daughter into my life. A child that I love and will cherish for all my days.
I can not promise that there will be no more tears but I can promise that I am proud of my daughters. I am blessed with four intelligent and successful daughters. No man could ask for more.
Welcome to the family Sara. My pronouns are straightened out now. Dad loves you very much.