A Chinese hospital, doing cancer research, has put out a call for virgins, ages 18 - 24, to donate blood. Since the research subject is human papilloma virus no male virgins are needed. So far 50 self proclaimed virgins have donated.
I have questions. First who is the lucky person assigned to determine if the volunteers are actually virgins? Second, is there an American version of this research? Lastly, if there is an American version can I apply for the authenticators position?
In an attempt to find this elusive creature of legend I took to the streets this morning to do impromptu street interviews. So far 4 women laughed at me, 6 threw their morning coffee in my direction, 11 cursed at me and 1 admitted to being a virgin but she told me that she was going to turn 18 tomorrow and was going to rectify her situation as soon as possible. I gave her my phone number and ambled on in my search.
Totally dejected to this point I decided to ask men if they knew any virgins. I sought out geeky looking guys who had to be virgins themselves in hopes that they had female virgins in their circle of friends. A total fail here too. No male would admit to being a virgin and most made claims to deflowering half the world's female population. This was getting me nowhere fast.
A google search titled 'Where do I find virgins in the USA?' brought up many stories about Virgin Mobile phones and Virgin American Airlines but no clues to where I could find the virginal creature I sought.
For now I have given up my search but I am setting aside money for a trip to the Virgin Islands. I have heard a rumor that virgins congregate there. Have to check that out. In the name of science of course.