Why Are They On The List Of People We Hate Because Of Their Industry?

Yesterday I read an article listing the 'Ten Most Hated Industries'. I understand many of the industries that were listed. The Federal Government and the Oil Industry topped the list. Attorneys and those in the Pharmaceutical Industries were named. But one group took me by surprise. The Medical Industry!!!!

Yes Medical Costs are high. Driven by many factors including greed. But hating the industry seemed a bit severe. Very good people work in the medical field. What I was not seeing, in my train of thought, was that it was the INDUSTRY that was being hated and not the People that were providing the services. That is true, I believe, for all the industries listed.

I felt better about the entire issue once I analyzed it. It upset me, originally, because so many of my friends are involved in the medical field.

So putting aside my original objection; I moved on to my second, and to me more important objection, Why were some industries left off the list?

So I am making my own list. My list does include some duplicates but other choices I have made may surprise you. Then again maybe not, lol.

In Reverse Order My Top 10:

10 ~ Pharmaceutical Industry - I would agree that medication research and development is very costly. The cost of bringing a new drug to the market place is phenomenal. But for drugs that become some of the more popularly prescribed drugs; holding the price artificially high for the length of the patent is a form of gouging. Seems the the price of a drug drops the day after its patent runs out. Funny That!!

 9 ~ Communications - Cell phones, the Internet and the service given their customers is listed because the value give to the consumers is far lacking compared to the prices that are being charged. Combining that with their penchant for moving jobs over seas and their place on the list is secured.

 8 ~ Education - An industry that needs an overhaul. Admittedly I do not have any idea how to do that but someone, somewhere, inside the industry,  needs to step up and get out schools straightened out. I can think of no other industry that is more vital to the future of our children.

 7 ~ Public Relations/Advertising - A group that wraps a pig in Christmas paper and tries to tell us it is the  most important new item our family will ever need. Test everything yourself! That is the only way you will be able to judge its quality. These morons will never tell you the truth.

 6 ~ Retail Garment Industry - OK! A 3 pack of white men's boxer shorts; 12 FREAKING DOLLARS. They have some little kid making this thing for next to nothing and then they gauge the F$$K out of us. Then they have the BALLS TO TELL US TO BUY AMERICAN! Buy what you can afford. YOUR family comes first.

 5 ~ Major League Sports - Growing up I always enjoyed going out to a game. It was affordable and juts a fun thing to do with family. Now few can afford single game tickets let alone a season pass. And forget eating at the game site. Parents need second jobs just to make these outings. The fans have been left to pray for sell outs so they can catch the game on television.

 4 ~ The Alternative Energy Industry - I will agree that sources of alternative energy are needed but please perfect them and make them affordable before trying to shove them down our collective throats.

 3 ~ Federal Government - This one is our own faults. We continue to elect people that have tired used up idea to solve modern problems. Elect people that will actually do the job first and worry about re-election last. An easy thing for me to say; I know.

 2 ~ Paparazzi/Entertainment News - I have spoken about this before so I will say just two things quickly and loudly. BABY FREAKING BUMPS!! WHO THE F$$K CARES IF SOME CELEBRITY WORE A BIKINI A MONTH AFTER SHE HAD A BABY. IF SHE IS NOT TAKING IT OFF IN MY BEDROOM~~I DO NOT CARE!!!!!

 1 ~ Attorneys - Not all attorneys just the group that has become, through the use of the mass media, THE NEW AGE AMBULANCE CHASERS. The ones that find every possible side effect, of every possible product, and advertise for potential clients knowing that the product manufacturer will pay out of court to avoid disastrous publicity. Whether that publicity is deserved or not. This is a group that has usurped the reputation of what was once a noble profession.

I have purposefully left The Banking Industry of the list. They are so F$$KED UP that that are a list to their own selves. Maybe I should list them as ONE PRIMES TO INFINITY!! If there is such a thing?

Now it is time for breakfast and lots of coffee, lol. I sure as hell have to find some happier subjects the rest of this week.

Randy

I Woke Up This Morning Angry!!

Yeppers!! My eyes opened and nothing seemed the way I wanted it to be. Why is it that we have days like that for no apparent reason? I had a good day yesterday. No problems at all. I had a great evening with friends. I spoke to my children. Ate well. Hell I was even regular, lol. So WTF is wrong with me today.

When I am in this type of mood I find that it is almost mandatory that I write about things I hate or things I feel are wrong. And usually, in the end, at last I feel better. It is said that I am a selfish Son Of A Bitch at times but guess what? I do not any longer care what people think about me. Someone is getting reamed today and kiddies it is not going to be me.

OK HERE WE GO!!!!

~~~Beyonce is having a baby. Who The Fuck Cares!!! Every damned singer or actress that shows a freaking baby bump should be shuffled off to some camp until the thing is born so we can get some REAL NEWS!!  Headline I Just Read~~Beyonce's Baby News Bigger Than Bin Laden' Death! REALLY!! Unless this kid is born with the strength to tumble over buildings I think Bin Laden wins this news battle.

~~~Headline-Antonio Banderas Gets Creepy & Crazy! When the fuck was he not Creep and Crazy? Even on a slow news day putting this out as worthy news is pathetic. I guess the editor for this story must have been in the bathroom getting rid of last nights taco dinner when this shit slipped through..

~~~LeAnn Rines celebrated her birthday in her BIKINI. While I am a LeAnn fan; how she celebrated her birthday is information I do not need. Unless, of course, she celebrated it at my house in that bikini(admittedly she did look very good). And BTW; I celebrated my birthday 3 weeks ago alone, in my underwear and siting in front of my TV watching Dog The Freaking Bounty Hunter. Now That is Freaking News Worthy!!!

~~~Headline=Michele Bachmann Says Hurricane Irene And Earthquake Are Divine Warnings To Washington. Why the fuck does every politician think they are the God Damned Second Coming? There is One God; He/She/or It is up there doing what ever the fuck They feel like doing and I am sure God did not crawl out of His cloud shrouded bed this morning to see what Michele Bachmann was saying in his name. Michelle will be joining  Antonio Bandares for lunch at the Creepy and Crazy Club Luncheon later today. 

Yeppers! I am going to hell.

~~~Headline-Onyango Obama, Uncle Of President, Arrested For Drunk Driving. I am not an Obama fan but why is an uncle being drunk news worthy and why do news people actually ask the President of The United States to comment on this shit. I had an uncle that ran over some guy, who was drunk, when the guy was running across Route 9, in New Jersey, with his shirt stuffed with BABY WATERMELONS. That did not even make the news and it was FREAKING FUNNY.

I feel a little better. More relaxed. There is a lot more stupid stuff  in the news(yeah right news, lol) but I will let you discover it yourself. Call it homework kiddies.

Your assignment~~~'Find Stupid And Trivial News' and give me a short synopsis of it so i can use it another time When I Feel Like Throwing Out The Baby With The Bath Water!!

                                             Now that's Funny!!!

Randy

PS.....No children, small animals or news editors were injured in the writing of the blog entry. All complaints should be sent to me, care of this blog and titled,,I Do Not Give A Fuck!!

It Is All In Their Eyes!!!

Looking Eye's, Holding Hearts~~by Ethnographers

Can I look into your eyes?
Please open up so I can see
All that you could give to me
Please let me see and I can fly
If you let me look into your
Eyes, your eyes.

Can I hold on to your heart?
I promise I won't let it go
You were hurt before I know
Trust me and I'll show you love


And all I want
All I need
All I want
Is to love you
Is to love you

All I want is love
More love.
All I want is love
Your love.

Your love, your love

Can I look into your eyes?

And all I want
All I need
All I want
Is to love you
Is to love you
All I want
All I need
All I want
Is to survive you
Is to survive you

This morning I went down to a local park, set out my chair and picked up a book but my real reason to be there was to people watch. I love doing this; watching how people interface with each other and trying to guess what sort of emotions are passing between them. Especially the unspoken emotions.

When two people look into each others eyes they can see the love that they hold for each other displayed for their eyes only.  It is like their eye contact reflects what their heart is feeling. I can almost always tell when two people are showing an unspoken love through their eye contact.

Watch how people react to each other when they think they are alone. They are caught staring at each other when the other is not looking. When their eyes meet; a smile is always solicited. I will admit that, in some cases, it takes people time to realize what their eyes are telling them. A sort of 'Getting to know you period'. What our predecessors use to call 'courting'; an art, to our great loss, that has all but disappeared in the new generations that seem to put more value on sex than intimacy.

Yeppers you all got me!! I am old fashioned and sappy at times. I hate when we  throw out things that work for the sake of expediency. These days we jump in and out of marriage as often as we are buying new cars. I actually heard someone say that they had been married for 8 years and that was a good length of time for anyone to be with one person. That is a very scary statement to me.

All my grand parents we married over 50 years. I can remember one of my grand fathers, after a wonderful family Sunday dinner(another tradition that has virtually died out), telling all the gathered grand children about how he and my grandmother had met and how they courted. Dinners with each others families, long chaperoned walks together, church visits, street fairs and just sitting and talking.

I still can remember how they looked at each other. A look that displayed their love for everyone of us to see.  My grandfather, on his death bed, and looking up at my grandmother, had that same look in his eyes that I saw the night he told us their story. I have always been in awe and amazed by their love.

Soft and passionate kisses exchanged between two people can and do show love. But next time you see a couple out walking; look at how their eyes make contact. That is where their love will be put on display.

At that moment their eyes look into each others hearts and love is passed between wordlessly.

I know~~I am an admitted Sappy person. I will never apologize for it and I will never go to counseling to try and lose it.

Randy

Lets Talk 'Bromance'!!!

BROMANCE: 'The intense love shared between heterosexual males. A form of male bonding and usually invisible to the naked eye. This bond is normally only shared between two males that have a deeper understanding of each other, in a way no woman could ever realise.'

HMMMM!!!

I understand the concept. Every person, female or male, has a period in their lives where they feel closer to there male friends than their female ones. The 'Little Rascals Shows' , that date from 1922 through 1944, are a perfect example of this concept. They had 'The He-Man Women Haters Club', a male only club that was constantly being assaulted by the Our Gang Girls.

                                       I know I am showing my age,lol.

There is a closeness between women that requires no special word. They can  share their feelings about anything, shop together, go out for a meal, see a movie, go to the bathroom in pairs, spend long hours together and no one thinks anything about.

If two men spend 4 or 5 hours together there better be a football game on, or they better be in a bar drinking and chasing woman or there better be hunting of some kind involved. Anything else and men have their sexuality questioned

But there is a bond that exists between men that is just as strong as those formed by women. We just do not talk about them or take them into the public eye. I have always believed that women are much more secure and mature about their sexuality than men will ever be.

So we invent words to cover our insecurities about the non sexual love we share with other men. I am not shy about saying that there are men I have loved in my life. Long term relationships, gender aside, will produce genuine affection between humans. There is no getting around that fact.

I wish we were all able to show that affection publicly. Most men go to their graves never knowing that another male, in their lives, held them in such close regard. The male stubbornness to having their sexuality questioned is quite sad indeed when we are blocked from telling another person that we hold love for them.

So maybe using the word 'Bromance' is a step forward in male evolution. Lets hope so!

Randy

Carolinian's Hold The Dance And The Uninvited Guests Pour In!!

The Carolina's, North and South, hospitable people scattered from its beautiful beaches to its green hills  and reaching up into their mountains. Hearty down home folk mixed in with the new breed that seeks the warmth around her hearths in winter and her beaches in summer. All huddled in a tight knit group of neighbors and friends waiting out yet another onslaught of an uninvited guest.

They come, from year to year, to interrupt the dance of Carolina Life. There winds riping through the elms and oaks leaving them tattered and torn. The wet ground allows this uninvited quest to tear them up by the roots and scatter their leaves in all directions. But the fate of the oaks and the elms is kind compared to the tribulations of our beloved pine trees. Their flexibility against the wind allowing them to keep purchase in the wet ground while their tops are snapped off and sent flying across the yards like cannon balls.

These uninvited guests come with names now unlike there predecessors who were titled by year and generic name. 1667--The Year Of The Hurricane, The Great Gust of 1724, George Washington's Hurricane of 1788, Great Coastal Hurricane of 1806, Sea Islands Hurricane of 1893. They all came uninvited to spread their wanton dance across our Beloved Carolina's.

Then some uninformed person gave names to these monsters that wander into our homes unwanted and uninvited. Hurricane Barbara 1953,  Hurricane Carol 1954, Hurricane Edna 1954, Hurricane Hazel 1954, Hurricane Connie 1955. On and on they went giving name to things that needed no names. As if giving them a name would personalize them, make them more human or someone you would actually invite in for tea.

These usurpers of our mild weather grabbed their names and kept on coming year after year after year. How many of our fellow Carolinians arrived back in Charleston, after Hurricane Hugo 1989, to find the bricks peeled off their homes and piled haphazardly along the ground.

In 1996, when Hurricanes Bertha and Fran, tore through the Carolina's in close secession, we all ducked our heads, boarded our windows, watched the water rise and trees fall around us. The scene outside my home looked like a battle scene where hundreds of arrows were stuck in the ground having missed their intended targets. My arrows were tree branches stuck in the ground  at every imaginable angle.

Baby squirrels strewn about the yard, alive but with no mother in site. No electricity for days. Water deep enough that the children could canoe on the streets from house to house.

Then they rested for awhile. They did not bother us. Others were holding dances for girls with names like Katrina, Gail and Wilma. Even the men started to come uninvited to some areas; Stan, Alex and Dennis.

Tonight we sit with another uninvited quest. IRENE! She is pounding our beaches and mangling our trees. She has sent us into shelters to wait her out. We are sitting in our homes listening to our roof shingles fly off like rockets as water leaks into our homes from the places our shingles have been abducted. Mail boxes are down, chairs toppled over, trees lay across roads and our children cower in their beds unable to sleep.

Irene will leave us some time tomorrow. An amazing thing happens after one of these uninvited guests is finally sent packing. The sun comes out, it is usually hot and humid, people are cleaning up every where and then helping neighbors with their cleanup. Stores and restaurants will open for business.

In short order we are back to normal. At least until the next uninvited guest, with the name that is supposed to personalize it, arrives and we do this dance all over again.

We Are Carolinians!!!

Randy

The Minting Of A New Second Life Man~~The Final Word!!

I have had some fun with my change this week and it was meant to be funny. But now that I have presented what is a tragedy in a light manner; please bear with me for a few minutes while I try and put this all in prospective.

When all the banter dies down one thing remains that will haunt me forever. A Relationship Died And I Killed It!

It is strange to look at those words and realize that I killed something that is probably the greatest accomplishment of my life. We were able to keep a Second Life relationship going for 40 months and for most of that time it was fresh and exciting. I have never been able to accomplish that in my real life.

Even though we were living a fantasy; that fantasy produced some wonderful things. Things that leave me with some pride. Things that will keep my memories warm for a very long time.

Through the keyboard and the words that you produce with it; emotions and expectations can be elevated to unbelievable heights. Connections are made in Second Life with no physical contact necessary. Powerful connections. In a way the connections we make in Second Life are tighter than those in our First Lives. Second Life is on a total cerebral level with no expectation of the physical being that lays behind the computer opposite you.

I have always believed that love, in any life, is more cerebral than physical. So Second Life is the perfect breeding ground for real love, in my opinion. The mind can wield it's power at will when the physical realm is not there to block its journey.

I had such a relationship. What started out as a whim, on my part, quickly snowballed into a fantasy fueled by latent feelings within me and my partner. It got out of control. I did not know how to stop it. In truth; I did not want to stop it. The fantasy I created for my partner became my fantasy too. In my selfishness to hold on to the life I had fabricated people's lives collapsed.

My search to try and find a new Second Life, no matter what form that life takes, will always hurt someone. There is no getting around that fact.

In situations like this there is always a period of grieving. My problem is I do not know how to grieve. I never have. One would think that in a life full of loss grieving would have been a lesson well learned. But neither Thinkie nor I have ever learned this lesson. I think that sometimes grief comes to quick in our lives and we tend to get use to it, internalize it and give it a 'business as usual' attitude. Thinkie and I are very much the same in that respect.

The lessons I am taking away from these wonderful 40 months are worth mentioning. First; always portray yourself as who you really are and not who you wished you were. I think that you will find a much quicker acceptance by others. Second; the friends you make are precious and need to be held close and their relationship to you nurtured. Because once they are gone, there is no getting them back.

Three; there is no amount of good you can do to over come the harm you cause by not being who you say you are. There was a time that I thought I could build up a resume of good deeds that would cover all the bad ones. Do not delude yourself into thinking this fallacy.

Finally; there is love here in Second Life if you approach it with honesty. There are great friendships to be made if you are always honest with those friends. And there is a sense of family that can be built if you are open and honest to those around you.

The grieving process for Thinkie and I, although it will take different paths, will be a long one. I hope and I pray that she finds peace. She is surrounded by people who love her. All she has to do is let them in.

A few days ago Thinkie forgave me. A forgiveness I do not deserve. Even in her grief she has a heart as big as any who ever lived. I wish I was who she thought I was all those 40 months.

Loving her was easy. Still loving her is easy. Always loving her will be easy. Never again being hers is hard.

We both need closure but I do not know where to find it. All I can say is 'I Wish'.

Love ya,
Night

The Minting Of A New Second Life Man~~A Penis~ Is A Penis~ Is A Penis~Or Maybe Not?

When a Male Human is born into First Life he comes with all his parts attached and in most cases attached in the proper places. As we grow and mature all our parts grow along with us. Of course some men seem to have a more robust growth in certain areas. I must have been out for a piece of apple pie when God opened up the line to distribute large penises to the masses. Damn I hope that was a really really really good piece of pie, lol.

In Second Life the male avatar is born sans penis and looking like a deformed Ken Doll. I think Malibu Barbie must have run from the room, the first time Ken dropped his pants, screaming 'Where's the beef? Where's the beef?'  Come to think of it I have had that reaction a few times over the years. Damned Apple Pie!!

I did not know if I even wanted to have a penis in Second Life. I always believed that making love was mostly a mental activity so maybe I did not need one. Nah!! I wanted to be complete. Even if the appendage went into my inventory at least if the opportunity arose to use it I would not be rushing out to a store mid passion like a teenage boy in desperate need of a condom.

My first mistake was to tell two new and well meaning female friends that I was going on this shopping trip. They showed more enthusiasm for the activity than I did, and since this was my first experience at the Xcite store, I agreed to let them come along.

Gentlemen, THIS IS A MISTAKE I BEG YOU NEVER TO MAKE!!

Let me give you a quick overview of this ill fated journey. I am changing their names because they are both partnered, there partners must have had Second Life Bowling League this particular night, and I do not want to out them, lol. Some lines that passed between us this night:

Lila: Do they have demos for men?
Ann: I don't know but if they do Night can wear the demo and we can make sure it works.

Lila: Will there be dressing rooms?
Ann: I don't care! I am going as my Alt anyway.


Ann: Don't touch anything sticky.
Lila:OOOO,,Sticky is good!

And on and on it went for an hour. They wanted to touch, feel, fondle, rub, elongate and stuff any demo they could get there hands on into their virtual purses and take them home for further,,mmmm,,study, lol. Thank God I saw no demos!!!

To say the least I left the store, shall we say, empty handed or maybe as Ken like as I entered. I logged off with a vow to rethink this entire process.

Next day I went, alone, to get this done and over with. If you have never been to the Xcite store you should go just for the experience. As you enter women go right and men go left, each into their own departments.

Shopping for a penis in Second Life is much akin to buying a new car with the exception that there are more OPTIONS for the informed penis purchaser. In Real Life the penis can and does have options available but in Second Life you can load that baby up with just about anything anyone has ever dreamed of.

There is a pecking order to your experience. A sort of Assembly Line for Penis Development. First you purchase a HUD to control your new appendage. Then you step down the line, there are arrows in the floor to follow so you can not get lost. Next you purchase your Cock. There are several different models and I picture men, in front of their computers, pants around their ankles saying 'Well that one looks like me,,A little bigger I think.'  NO! I didn't do that because a my age I know what my critter looks like; my memory is quite bad now but I still know my way down to my playground, lol.

Once you decide on a Bat you need to choose some accompanying Balls. There was a lot of thought put into BALLS by the people at Xcite. Large ones, small ones, hang even, hand left, hang right. OMG! Now I am up with my pants around my ankles to see where the hell I am hanging today, lol.

Having made my ball choice I then chose color, pubic hair,  looked at all the adornments and cringed a bit and then checked out and headed home to unwrap my new toy.  What you will find, when you open your package, pun intended, is that some of the things you purchased are not there. DO NOT GET EXCITED AND RUSH BACK TO THE STORE AND DEMAND A REFUND!! You simply put in your HUD and the nice people at Xcite send you your equipment through the air, get it synchronized with your body and BAM you are a fully functioning man.

 I was told by a woman, after lamenting about the lack of instructions that came with my purchase, that all I had to do was wear it and the woman would control it. I am liking this a lot.

So after playing with your new toy,,and I know every purchaser plays with it, lol, you tuck it away in your inventory for that intimate moment that may never come. BECAUSE THE BIGGEST COCK IN THE WORLD WILL NOT GET A DICK LAID!!!

OH!! For me the funnest thing to do was put on the HUD and play with the Withdraw and Extend Button. You can make that critter dance like a puppet. IT'S IN! IT'S OUT! IT'S IN! IT'S OUT! IT'S IN! Fun, Fun, Fun, lol. That is probably the most action this critter will get!!!

Love ya,
Night

The Minting Of A New Second Life Man~~The Wallflower Effect!!

In a perfect world the Newly Minted Man would hit the ground running once he had a passable avatar to make a public appearance. I had the confidence of a declawed cat up against a rabid pit bull. But I looked OK and I had to leave the house eventually so off I went. Second Life can be a lonely place, even in a crowd, but a crowded place was exactly where I decided to go.

From The Urban Dictionary; Wallflower: a type of loner. Seemingly shy folks who no one really knows. Often some of the most interesting people if one actually talks to them. Cute.

Lets break that down and apply it to The Newly Minted Man. It has been said that I am a loner, not needing other people to validate myself but I do need, and even crave, companionship. Having an interesting and intelligent woman, that challenges me, is a linchpin of my existence. Having a meaningful relationship with such a woman seems essential to my well being. Stupidity is a crime that I avoid at all costs.

In my past Second Life existence shyness did not exist. I can not really explain that phenomenon as in my Real Life I do tend to be a bit shy. Which is strange as I do many of my life's activities alone and am forced to present in public as an unshy competent person. I have always believed that shyness was a trait that made for good acting. Stepping into a role so unlike yourself and playing that role to perfection, while overcoming your inherent shyness, is the greatest form of acting in my opinion. Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Killers comes to mind as an example.

In truth no one really knows the real me in part because of my shyness and in part because I do not reveal my inner self to many people. My 17 year old daughter gets me. My 21 year old son just shakes his head and hopes that he does not become me. We all have an interesting dynamic.

I do believe myself to be intelligent and interesting but I could be deluding myself on this point. I leave it up to the reader to decide these issues.

As for Cute, LOL! Well my avatar is not bad at all albeit a work in progress. I am confident with my shirt off at any beach in Second Life. In Real Life I AM WEARING A PARKER 24/7, LOL.

So there you have it. The Newly Minted Man ready to take it to the streets; shyness and all. I chose a Haper Messmer show; I knew it would be crowded and I enjoy his shows.

On arrival I was greeted with an IM; "Why did you unfriend me? What did I do to insult you?". So much for me remaining anonymous! If I had not mentioned this before; when all these problems began, and in a panic, I unfreinded almost all the people on my Friends List. A knee jerk reaction that I truly regret. I explained to this person what was going on and her reaction was to offer me friendship. I was not as anonymous as I had hoped but was off to a less than painful start to my new life.

I had cleared my profile of my past life. All I inserted was this; The Third Re-Invention Of Myself,,,,One Day I Will Get it Right!! Very true as written but not explanatory as to my situation.

Now comes 'The Wallflower Effect' as it applies to me. I took up a place in the back of the room; hidden behind a group of people that I thought would keep me out of view. But this is Second Life and Profile Perving is not something only I do. It is a well honed sport in Second Life and is performed by almost everyone. Even though almost everyone will deny they do it, lol.

The music was good. I was enjoying just being out and about. My confidence was building while my anonymity was being my ally. Then I received another IM.  In essence I was being asked,  "If I may ask what does the statement in your profile mean?' Yes I was being Perved and my cover was blown.

I was at a crossroads here. Tell her some off the wall story that would get me back to my place on the wall or come clean. I had vowed that my days of fabricating stories were over, and having not really talked to anyone in days, I jumped into what was going on. She listened. She asked questions. And then she asked me to sit down with her. We talked. We laughed and God did I need to laugh. We shared several dances. I gained a new friend.

The next day we went out dancing and I was gaining some confidence. I had someone that was easy to talk to and even better listened.

She offered me a place to stay until I was on my feet. I had sold my land and was homeless. She grounded me a bit and gave me some direction. I was starting to feel better.

Her support added to that of The Psycho Riot Bitches Roller Derby Team was getting me back on track.

Tomorrow: The Blog I know you all have been waiting for, lol. The purchase  of my Man Parts. This was an adventure that I never saw coming.

Love ya,
Night

The Minting Of A New Second Life Man~~Why Do I Walk Like An Ape?

Day Three and I am strutting around my house like a prized peacock. Let me emphasize 'Around my house!'  Because I have yet to get the courage to step out and let people see me in my new form. There is still work to be done. Lots of work,,lol.

The female form, during walking, is an amazingly beautiful thing to watch. Hips moving side to side, legs stretching out with each step and her bottom moving in a way that brings tears of joy to the eyes of appreciating observers.

Men, on the other hand, walk like APES who have never been upright in their lives and are still grooming their asses with their teeth. I was certainly in this category. So my next task was to find a HUD that would give me proper walking, running, standing and sitting animations.

I headed out and tried several different stores. After, what I felt was an extended search I found a HUD I could live with, made my purchase and headed home to play with it.

My HUD Grade:

1. Running~~quite good
2. Standing~~restful and relaxed
3. Sitting~~4 poses and all were passable
4, Walking~~4 animations with all producing an APE LIKE GAIT not much better than when I was not wearing the animations HUD at all.

What seems to be missing from the male Gait Pattern is Arm Swing. All the Walk Animations that I tried had the arms glued to my sides like I had been on a really bad BDSM date and was doing The Walk Of Shame with my arms tied to my torso.

Hint: Animation Creators~~~~FIX THIS!!!!  Men hate looking like APES. Most women think we act like Apes most of time anyway. Lets fix this so at least they will have to talk to us before deciding that we actually are Apes.

So with my Ape Like Walk; I mustered enough courage to head out and find some new hair because what I had was just adding to my Ape Like Demeanor.

I have always believed that a well groomed man is an attractive man but the term Well Groomed has changed over the years. At one time Well Groomed meant short clean cut hair. Now it covers an entire list of styles and cuts.

I chose 2 styles; a conservative, short but not to short , style and a longer, slightly wilder style that included a bandanna. Both in dark brown. I liked both and was a happy camper.  Home I went again to organize my hair and finish my look.

I continued to strut around admiring myself in the completely safe environment of my house. But the time had come to step out and let people see my New Creation.

I started slowly, doing a little more shopping, and chatting with a few people as I shopped. The nicest comment I received came from a complete stranger who said and I quote; "You have a great sense of style, keep up the good work". My ego was inflated.

I felt the urge to head out and see a show because I was feeling confident. So I grabbed my newly found confidence and WENT AND HID IN MY HOUSE,LOL.

Yeah! I was not ready mentally for my unveiling.

Tomorrow~~Going out and discovering The Wallflower Effect.

Love ya,
Night

The Minting Of A New Second Life Man~~~Day 1 & 2~~The Dark Ages!!

Yes the first couple of days giving birth to a male avatar was the dark ages. There are so many things I needed but a search of my inventory revealed a pathetically small number of Male Necessities.

I had to stitch together some kind of a Male Avatar just so I could go out and start getting the things I needed to produce a Suitable Human Avatar Resemblance. My inventory was little help but it did yield enough to get me out the door to shop.

I had a shape that made me look a little like a White Urkle with a skin as pale as pure white paint. My clothes consisted of a pair of jeans and a tee shirt with some kind of an unrecognizable hat on it. No shoes at all. No socks. I was frightening enough I knew no one would bother me or of they did notice me they might have pity and drop a few Lindens in the unrecognizable hat on my shirt.

I hid in my house until well after dark and a time when I was sure no one I knew might be lurking about.

My first stop was a skin and shape shop. I needed something that would allow me out in the light of day without being mistaken for The Elephant Man. I was lucky enough to find a passable skin and shape, that I could tweak, on my first store visit. I rushed home with my purchase and started tweaking. Two, yes 2, hours later I had a shape I could appear in public wearing.

The thing about shapes in Second Life is that they do not come with all the anatomical parts. Now on a female avatar you can get away with not having a sexual component because it is anatomically internal. I never had a vagina for my female avatar. But with men that critter sticks out like a flag pole on the Fourth of July. Looking at my penis-less avatar I realized how spade animals must feel after being dragged kicking and screaming into the veterinarian's office.

I was already exhausted so I left penis shopping for another day. Believe me no one, NO ONE, was going to be interested in checking out this avatars equipment, lol.

 By the time I finished tinkering with the shape the sun was coming up over Second Life so I decided to slip out into my First Life and wait the fall of darkness to try and find some clothes. The clothes I had looked like what is left on The Hulk after his transformation, lol. A bit tattered, way to small and adjusted to cover what it could.

Once night fell I headed back out to find at least passable clothes. I have never been one to shop at the marketplace online but I now have learned to do that quite successfully. I was able to find a decent pair of jeans, a nice western styled shirt, and yes kiddies, a pair of underwear. I FINALLY, AFTER 4 YEARS IN SL, OWNED A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR, LOL!

The hardest thing to find were shoes I liked. Several hours of searching, in SL shops and at the marketplace, yielded a passable pair of sneakers.

All in all I did not look so bad. EXCEPT FOR MY HAIR!!  Those who knew me as a woman knew that hair was my downfall. I had to have many styles and colors. But as a man I saw no need for hair color changes and for more than a couple of styles.

Back to First Life I went to await the next Moon Rise and more Avatar Creations.

Tomorrow; hair, the male walk and animations and getting up the courage to leave the house.

Love ya,
Night

God Told Me To Run For President?~~~Bullshit!!

I believe that God does not want anything to do with American Politics or any countries politics. I can not see God sitting in front of His television on Election Night biting his fingernails over who moves into or out of the White House.

God is not a Republican nor a Democrat, a Conservative nor a Liberal, a Capitalist nor a Communist. God is simply God and has so many important things to worry about. Politics in any form, I am sure, does not even register on The God - O - Meter For Earthly Problems.

He has so many really important things to worry about. I will list a few things that eclipse any political consideration.

1. Are McDonald's Fries better than Wendy's Fries?

2. Will the dethroning of The Burger King affect Monarchs Worldwide.

3. WTF is a California Whopper? Guacamole on a burger? REALLY?

4. Will the Major League Sports, during ANY NEGOTIATION, say, 'What will the FANS feel about that?

5. Does the little guy living in my toilet bowl really clean 24/7 or is he just yachting?

6. If Fried Food is so bad for you; Why does it taste so freaking good?

7. If I dream about having sex with Katey Perry; will she wake up feeling satisfied?

8. Why do they fight wars in my name? I never liked the Middle East anyway. That is why I made it  a freaking dry desolate place.

9. Is there really a Dutch Boy? If there is does he sell paint and stick his fingers in dikes?

10. Why doesn't Anderson Cooper come out? Is he afraid that the Military will not let him ride around in tanks anymore?

There are so many more pressing God Issues! Who gets elected to anything is way down on God List Of Give A Shits.

So Ends Nights Sunday Sermon!! I will spend the rest of my Sunday ducking lightening bolts!

Love ya,

Night

PS....Tomorrow starts a series of Blog Posts covering 'The Minting Of A New Second Life Man'. I intend it to be Funny, Informative and Self Deprecating. Oh!! And Uncensored,,LOL!

Potpourri And Other Shit!!

It's Saturday all over the world. People are grocery shopping, washing cars, mowing lawns and checking to see what football games are on today. Everyone that is except me!

Saturday is my day to surf around the Internet and find the stupidest, saddest and most pathetic things I can find to fill these pages.

First up is a celebrity retirement that really has me upset. The Burger King has been retired from commercials. What a sad day!!!

No longer will I be hearing about The Whopper from my favorite Royal Personage. Life will not be the same. With the introduction of a More Healthy Menus, have you tried the new California Whopper~delicious but healthy I think not, Burger King decided they needed a more upbeat healthy advertising campaign.

THE KING IS DEAD!! LONG LIVE THE WHOPPER!!

On the subject of advertising. We all knew that sex sells, sex attracts and sex is FREAKING FANTASTIC. So this page from The New York Post Has it all. A pretty woman, good food, a pretty woman, good food, OH and RACKS!!

YES SIR!! In a perfect world a man could get all the ribs he can eat, wash them down with a good beer and then snuggle in that RACK.

I am so eating ribs tonight!!

Finally Headlines That Made Me Puke This Week!!!

You know the type. Meaningless stories about publicity seeking celebrities covering stupid material from writers that are trying to somehow convince us that it is all newsworthy.

Here we go!!

'BumpWatch: Hilary Duff Debuts Her Belly'~~Bump Watch~~God Help Us Keep our Food Down!

'Anton Yelchin On 'Fright Night': Vampires Will 'F*cking F*ck You'~~The command of the English language by some people never ceases to amaze me.        

'Man Who Microwaved His Cat Spared Prison'~~They should have fried this guy but it seems the cat had a prior history of crawling into microwaves on its own so the courts Declared This A Suicide Attempt.

'Jesse James And Kat Von D Back Together: Engagement Is On'~~It's on! It's off! He wants Sandra Bullock back! It's on! All in a matter of 3 days. Hollywood~~a cesspool of worthless fodder!

Now I will go try and eat some lunch and hope I can keep it down. I read an hours worth of this SHIT this morning.

Love ya,
Night        

PS....I heard that Miss Piggy is sporting a Froggy looking Baby Bump~~HMMM,,what will that kid look like?

OMG!! I Saw Taylor Swifts Panties~~~The World Is Coming To An End!!

What is our obsession with celebrity malfunctions? Why are we so obsessed with their wardrobe mess ups. Why do news reporters think that all this stuff is not only news worthy but lead story material.

Have we become so shallow a species that a glimpse of Taylor Swifts GRANNY PANTIES causes us to go into a news feeding frenzy; rushing to our televisions and newspapers to gobble up this tripe like we were zombies on a fresh brain.

Besides hearing about this incident, that I am sure has embarrassed Taylor tremendously; first because it happened in such a public place and second because her choice of panties, while refreshing for a 21 year old, are about as feminine as Omar The Sail Makers room size panties he made for my 400 pound Aunt Sadie; I have also heard that 'Mothers' who have taken their daughters to a Taylor Swift concerts are complaining about Taylor merchandising; especially as it pertains to the areas set up for young girls to have make up applied 'Just Like Taylor'. What a bunch of crap.

These women said that 'They were SHOCKED by these make up tables'. These are women from a generation that went to KISS concerts and were made up with 'Facial Paint' just like the band. Who wore tee shirts with 'Giant Tongues' displayed on the front. What hypocrites!!!

Our need to see and exploit everything 'Celebrity' has reached a sickening point. While many celebrities, and we all know this to be true, seek such publicity others are just exploited my a money hungry paparazzi.

I am so tired of hearing about some celebrities 'Baby Bump' or how she is rocking  her 'New Bikini' so soon after giving birth. I am tired of people incessant search for 'Celebrity Malfunctions'; contrived or otherwise these are really not news worthy.

Today a story entitled 'Kate & William Visit Riot Victims In Birmingham' was being touted at AOL.com but the 'Tag Line' used to pull viewers in was 'Kate Wears Brand New Outfit To Birmingham'. AMAZING!! They are out visiting and reassuring riot victims and what AOL thought was important as a tag line was her outfit.

Today at The Huffington Post, also an AOL affiliate, there is a story about Blake Lively's Short Shorts. There are also links to 7, SEVEN, 7, SEVEN other stories about her shorts. DID YOU GET THAT? SEVEN!!!!!

There is a story titled 'Anne Hathaway's Style Evolution ' show us clothes she wore over the past 7 years. Who The F$$K cares!!! You can find this type of story almost every day.

In truth, I do not blame AOL or any other group for this type of article. IT IS OUR APPETITE FOR SUCH BULLSHIT THAT KEEPS THESE ARTICLES FLOWING OUR WAY!!

Have our lives become so shallow, so meaningless that we allow ourselves to wallow in these cesspools of journalistic excrement?

If we stop reading this stuff; they will stop feeding this crap to us on the plastic spoons they call NEWS.

Off my soap box now and back to work.

Love ya,
Night

PS....God I can not wait for my next Paris or Lindsay paparazzi Beaver shot,,,LOL!

The Dick-Tionary!!

Think you know the difference between an asshole and a douchebag? Your guide to understanding insults leveled at guys.

 

I ran across this article while surfing around the Web looking for inspiration. It was 3 am so give em a break here, lol. Name calling is a sport that most of us take part in at some point in our lives and that most grow out of at an early age. But there are always 'Tags' we apply to people do expouse our feelings toward them.

These 'Slurs' are better know when a man applies them to a woman; 'The lexicon of lady slurs is wide, colorful, and divided into two big buckets of derision: you sleep with too many people (slut, tramp, whore) or you don’t sleep with enough people, or not the “right” people (bitch, prude, dyke). But what about the dudes?'

Lets explore 'Slurs' as applied to men and coming from women.

Asshole: A man displaying an egocentric disregard for the opinions, needs, and feelings of those around him. He is rude, obnoxious, and self-centered. Women may think incidences of assholery are isolated, but usually we just find arrogance attractive, conflating an overblown ego with healthy confidence.

Creep: While douchebags and assholes might be irritating and difficult to dissuade, creeps give you the heebie-jeebies. They possess a particular lack of social awareness that manifests as the inability to interpret social cues, especially from women. They may stand too close, refuse to leave, or make inappropriate sexual comments with a scary, manic desperation. When a woman doesn’t respond to their advances, creeps assume she must be a stuck-up dyke-y feminist bitch.

Douchebag: A dick move may make you a temporary asshole, but a pattern of bad behavior can land you with the unfortunate label of douchebag. Where the asshole veers towards self-involvement, the douchebag is actively and intentionally abrasive.  Douchebage dudes are particularly frustrating because no level of insult or call-out can dissuade them from their own awesome opinion of themselves.

A few examples of people whom women have applied these quaint names to:

Assholes on Screen: Bender (The Breakfast Club), Johnny Lawrence (The Karate Kid), Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother), Tommy Gavin (Rescue Me), Ari Gold (Entourage)

Creeps on Screen: Johnny Drama (Entourage), Jabba the Hutt (Star Wars), Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (Jersey Shore), Chazz Reinhold (Wedding Crashers)

Douchebags on Screen: Bill Lumbergh (Office Space), Glenn Guglia (The Wedding Singer), Sack Lodge (Wedding Crashers), the cast of Tool Academy

Now you know who you are being compared to when that woman two stools down form you, at your local bar, calls you one of these cute and loving names.

Love ya,

Night

Follow The Yellow Brick Road~~~August 17, 1939

“Follow the Yellow Brick Road ... There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home ... Oh, Auntie Em, Auntie Em ... and Toto, too!”

Movie goers first head those words 72 years ago today. A classic movie with a classic message; 'Home is where we need to be'.

HOME!!! HOME!!! HOME!!! Has a nice ring to it! No matter where we travel or what adventures that life sends our way; Home is a place we can run to and feel safe and warm.

At Least It Use To Be!! The shattering of the nuclear family, divorce, one parent homes, abusive parents and parents that put themselves before the children they brought into this world have become common place and almost are treated as the NORM.

There is nothing normal about an abused child. Or a hungry child. Or a child who has to stay at home alone because they live in a single parent home and that parent needs to work. There is nothing normal about Children Raising Children because the parents are working.

Yes parents need to work. In these uncertain economic times a family with only one income is becoming a rare occurrence. It still breaks my heart that generations if our children are growing up not having the opportunities that I had as a child. Mother at home by the time I got there from school, a snack waiting for me, guidance with my homework, family dinners every night, watching television shows as a family, attending movies as a family and doing something together at least one day of every weekend that I can remember. I wish every child had that up bringing and was able to hold those memories.

Life is hard enough, once we reach adulthood,  to waste even one second of a child's life having to worry about their basic needs.

EVERY CHILD SHOULD BE A DOROTHY!! EVER CHILD SHOULD BE ON THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!!

I know you are not rich. I know you are struggling. I know your family comes first and rightly so. But PLEASE find a way to help get OUR CHILDREN on the Yellow Brick Road.

Find a way through a charity or maybe Big Brothers or Big Sisters. There are opportunities out there in every country to help children.

FIND A WAY!! IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!! AND I KNOW, IN YOUR GOOD HEARTS, THAT YOU WANT TOO!!

Love ya,
Night

God Said 'Let There Be Fries!'~~And There Were~~And They Were Good~~Then All Hell Broke Loose!!!

On the 8th day as God rested after The Creation; He was sitting in front of the television watching a Dallas Cowboys Football game(yes God created football and the Cowboys). I believe that Dallas was playing Pittsburgh. By halftime God was hungry and spent the 40 minute halftime watching the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders(He created them to) and while watching He created French Fries.

Now, of course the French had not come to be yet so God just called the FRIES. Gods one mistake, and yes God cam make mistakes~hence the platypus, was to hand his delicious new creation to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Of all the foods available in the Garden of Eden, which I believe was located in South Carolina because the tradition of Frying Everything lives on to this day, Fries quickly became Adams favorite food. Eve was getting tired of eating fries and cooking them so she plotted with her neighbors wife, a one Mrs Snake, to trick Adam into eating something else. Adam ate the apple and all is history.

But Fries lived on to cause problems to this day. Some of the problems caused by fries are little know to us today because The Book Of Fries was left out of the Bible.  Only now are we learning the disasters that can be attributed to Fries.

Fry Facts:

Troy circa 1200 BC: We all have heard that Helen of Troy was a beautiful woman and was the cause of The Trojan War. The truth is that as beautiful as Helen was it was the secret that she held that the Greeks wanted. It seems Helen's family held the secret to making the Worlds Best Ketchup and the Greeks wanted that recipe. So they attacked Troy to get it. After Helen escaped Troy she traveled to Italy where she further developed the use of the tomato for a sauce that was used on pasta.

There is no truth to the rumor that the Trojan Was fought over Condom Patents.

World War I: The trouble between the French and the Germans came to a head at the negotiation  table, over the disposition of the Alsace-Lorraine Region, when the French were gastronomically upset by the Germans use of Vinegar on there Fries. A Food Fight ensued; with both sides deeply entrenched and exchanging barrages of Vinegar and Mayonnaise. The American observers to this historic event hid behind a vale of Ketchup for protection.

There are so many examples of Fries causing wars and conflicts. To many to mention really. But this brings me to must to our time and the Corporate Fry War that are going on right now.

The Fast Food Fry Wars began with McDonalds claim, and rightly so, that there Fries were the best. Burger King and Wendys were light years behind McDonalds in French Fry Technology.  For years McDonalds ruled the Fry World. I will confess to you that I would go to BurgerKing for a Whopper and then go through the drive through at McDonalds for fries. YES I was caught up in the conflict.

Then Burger King started actually using potatoes in their fries and the gap was closing between them and Mcdonalds. Status Quo was reached between the two Frying Giants until Wendys did the unthinkable and blew the conflict wide open.

Wendys Hand Cut and Sea Salt Seasoned Fries Arrived! I actually saw people having orgasms in the Wendys Drive Through.

I will admit that I have personally switched to Wendys Fries. Many of my friends are still clinging to the McDonalds Fry Boxes. Burger King seems to have been left by the side of the road with an oil leak in their frying vats.

So here is the question? Witch Fry do you like the best? Leave your vote and comments at the Blog. Lets conduct a completely unscientific pole and get a feel for our Fry preferences.

One day I will tell you about how The Black Plague in Europe was caused by rancid fat from Fry vats, how the Dark Ages can be defined by the Lack of a Sufficient Potato crop that did not keep up with Fry demand, how the Renascence was kick started by the invention of a pure vegetable oil that improved Fry Quality and how The Irish Potato Famine led to the Fry Craze in the United States.

French Fry History and its associated disasters have plagued us since that first Dallas Cowboys/Pittsburgh Stealer's Halftime. God should never have given Humans a gift and say 'Run With This One'. We are sure to take it to an unbelievable and illogical conclusion.

Love ya,
Night

So It Begins~~~A New Day In Second Life!!

After the past week I have finally started to come to grips with all the changes my Second Life, and to some extent my Real Life,  will be taking. The sadness of the past week will take a very long time to pass. Especially because I am the cause of that sadness.

So now I begin a chapter of being ME. For better or for worse what people will see from now on is the person I am with all my faults and mistakes trailing along behind me. I have made my apologies, suffered and continue to suffer my loses. am dealing with my many regrets and will try and move on. What I have lost can never be replaced and having had that relationship, sans the misleading, is certainly not one of my regrets.

                        The new me. A work in progress that will evolve a lot I am sure.

This past week was spent hiding in my little sky box during the day and venturing out, late at night when people that knew me would most likely be offline, to find clothes and other things that I needed to get started. It was quite an adventure, Thank you to the girls from The Psycho Bitches Roller Derby team for their help with clothes, LM's and support.

I wandered out to see Second Life singers both Saturday and Sunday and no one attacked me so that was good but I can tell you that this week has been a lonely one in Second Life. But tonight I met some very nice people and managed a smile or two. A quite good night over all.

I saw this picture tonight and it reminded me of my situation.

Can Of Soda In Freezer Realizing Owner Never Coming Back For It!

That is pretty much how I have felt all week. I am snapping back and this will be my last Blog about my situation. As much as I hate losing the people that I love and the home I helped build in Second Life; I need to try and move on and see what is out there for the new me. I am sure that there are more lumps coming my way and I will handle them. I have to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other and one step at a time, but I will never forget the love and friendship that I was given and will always take comfort and warmth from those memories.

“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.”~~~Brittany Renée

Love ya,

Night

Confessions~~~An End To A Second Life!!

“Confession is the first step to repentance.”~~~English Proverb

Second Life was a retreat from Real Life for me. A retreat that provided me with the satisfaction of being anonymous and a chance to be something I was not. I believe that Second Life provides that to a lot of people. The problem is that many people on Second Life are exactly who they say they are and when their reality clashes with the other peoples fantasies; pain is caused in both Lives.

I am the perpetrator of this type of deceit and fraud.

It started as a lark one night and became a Lifestyle for me in Second Life. I had been in Second Life for about two months living as a male, which is what I actually am. In truth I was having no fun and was spending as much time alone in SL as I was in my Real Life. One thing I did notice; women seemed to be acclimated and accepted more easily. So one night I changed my Avatar and became a woman. Almost immediately I started to meet people, find places that were fun and made a lot of friends. An SL path was set and for the next four years I lived in SL as a woman; concocting a persona for both my SL existence and what my Real life was about.

I thought to myself that this was OK to do, that SL was all fantasy and that it was not to be taken seriously. I believe that is a mistake made by a lot of new people to SL. The problem came when I met someone I really liked and wanted to spend my time with. I got to know the real her and she got to know the Fraud me.

After a month or so she asked me to partner. I should have said no right then and there but I so enjoyed all the time we spent together. What went through my mind was this; 1. I liked her and spending all my time with her was a good thing for me and I hoped her, 2. I could easily be this phony person for a period of time because it seems most SL partnerships did not last long and and I could get out before any one got hurt. I was deluding myself. I said yes to being her partner with those two thoughts in my mind plus the fact that I really enjoyed being with her. And, what I am sure many SL users will be find unbelievable, this was not a sex thing. Our relationship was love in every sense of the word with sex left at the wayside. It was never needed to validate our relationship.

Forty Months(40) later it all came crashing down. FORTY MONTHS!!! People were amazed that a Second Life partnership could last that long. So many of these partnerships had died quickly and many people seemed to take a new partner weekly. I know one girl on her fourth partnership.  But we truly enjoyed each others company and helping each other with problems(even though her problems were real and mine mostly contrived).

We actually came to really love each other. Love is such a rare thing in my life, well both our lives in the beginning, that I ate it up and never really wanted it to stop. Even though I knew, in my heart, that it would end a some point. That is the nature of Second Life.

Earlier this week she discovered me for the fraud I am. It hurt her tremendously and there is nothing I can do to fix it or make it hurt less.

Luckily she had met and married a wonderful woman who will take care of her the way I never could. A real relationship with a magnificent future ahead of it. I am extremely grateful for that. She has a path to happiness that will carry her through.

So what is next for me? I am not really totally sure. I am taking my lumps from people in SL and deservedly so. My first thought was to just run away but after 2 sleepless nights and constant thought about my SL future I have made some decisions.

I will stay in Second Life as a male and start over. I love the music and exploring so for now I will start my own healing by doing the things I enjoy and that do not require a lot of interaction with other people.

I will begin to make new friends and wean myself out of the lives of my present friends, at least the ones that are still talking to me. I think that; for them to try and transition from Night the woman to Night the man will be difficult and I do not want to put them through it.

I had considered doing an entire new Avatar but I like my Avatar name and it can be male or female so I will keep it and for those who recognize my change and want to express their feelings; I can take the criticism and deserve it.

I will miss the friends that I have made in SL, working for Relay For Life in Second Life, The Red River Saloon, DJ Annie Lanes Friday Night shows and Roller Derby with the Psycho Riot Bitches(although they have said if I get into my female avatar for games and practice I can continue to play. It's still up in the air).


To all my friends, especially those at Red River who are directly affected by my actions, I truly apologize. I will not ask for your forgiveness but in time I hope I can receive your understanding.

A confession has to be part of your new life~~~Ludwig Wittgenstein

I hope that is true.

Night

PS....The Blog will continue but at this point I have no idea what direction it will go. I will take the rest of the week away from it and start anew on Monday August 15.

Why Do I Put Pen To Paper?

There is a Joan Didion quote that I love: "I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."

That, to some extent, explains why I write. My office is full of varied size pieces of paper that I have jotted down ideas or thoughts that come to me at all hours of the day and night. An inspection, of what I have started calling my Idea Desk, will render napkins from all sorts of restaurants, business cards from all over the United States and some foreign, fast food restaurant receipts and scrapes of all sorts of paper or cardboard that I have torn from envelopes, stationary, legal pads and boxes. There is one thing that all these pieces of scrap have in common; each contains a thought that occurred to me while away from home and that I felt necessary to jot down. These thoughts may of may not have anything to do with the place or person that gave me the scrap.

From example; I have a business card from an appliance store that was given to me by a salesman when I bought a new refrigerator. On it I have written, "2011 Kia Optima can have backup cameras installed".  I do not have a Kia nor will I be buying one but I thought that it might be a good car for a character I was developing and a backup camera is essential to a scene I was writing. I saw the Kia parked in the appliance store parking lot, chatted with the owner and jotted down the information on the appliance store business card. LOL!! And yes, I talk with strangers a lot because people, in my opinion, are a writers fodder for thought and ideas.

" Writing is a rediscovery of my experiences, in a good way, with my opinion attached to it."~~ Rita Wilson

Rita Wilson is an accomplished writer and actress. Her thoughts about writing mimic my own almost to the letter. For me I would add 'in a good and bad way' because I find inspiration in my bad experiences; no matter how dreadful they might have been. I also find closure when write about 'the bad times'.

From an interview with Rita Wilson, "You have to get over the self-consciousness of what people think. For me, that is the No. 1 thing, because that will trap you. That voice in your head that says, “You can’t do this. Are you insane? There are people who have been doing this for years. Who do you think you are?"  We put imaginary limits on ourselves that are destructive, and we should never allow that voice to play a part in the situation. If you really have a passion for something, then just do it. Find a way to do it!"

I could not agree more with any statement about 'living your life'. Writing is a challenge for me. Whether you, the reader, likes what I write is of less important to me than the actual writing itself. Of course I want people to read what I have written but, and you can bank this, I would have written it even if I knew that No One was going to read it. First and foremost I write for myself and if someone finds what I write helpful or entertaining than that is a bonus that I am quite humble to accept.

Gavin de Becker is an amazing author who wrote this book called The Gift Of Fear. It’s all about trusting your instincts. He says your instinct is like a muscle that needs to be exercised, and the more you use it the stronger it gets. I can credit Rita Wilson, through an interview she did, for turning me on to this book

Ergo my scarp paper collection. I trust what I see, what I feel and what is interesting to me. I swear that if I did not write something everyday I would go mad. My thoughts have to be played out through my writing or they will literally tear me apart.

Love ya,
Night

PS.....For the 2 or 3 of you that were reading the chapters from 'Nights Dance To Day'; that concept is now under contract and I can not include it in the Blog at this time. It will have some major rewrites and when it comes out will be paired with 'Nights Dark Dance'. If you leave me an email address in the Blogs Comment section I will find a way to get you a free copy of both books when they are available.

It Started With 'Lana Lets Go Out For a Drink' And Ended With My Avatar Drunk On Roller Skates!!

I got up at 3 am yesterday and after a cup of coffee I jumped in front of my computer and started dictating changes in one of my projects. By 10 am I had finished the changes, added about 20 new pages, had completed short meetings with my agent and editor, given marching orders to my assistant and worked with my travel agent on my itinerary for the research trip to Europe that is scheduled for this October.

A full morning indeed.

I had an early lunch and was relaxing on the back porch when my girl friend called and to tell me she was off early and did I wan to go for a drink. I was ready in minutes,lol.

We have a restaurant with a deck that over looked the ocean just a few minutes from the house. I love this place; the deck has a fantastic view and AFTERNOON MOJITOS are one of my favorite things to do.

The Mojito!!! The word rolls off my tongue with such a passionate sound. A cool island of refreshment on a very hot day.

In the hands of a talented bar attendant; a thing of beauty indeed. She used her delicate little hands to mix;

Powdered Sugar
Lime Juice
Mint Leaves
Sprig Of Mint 
White Rum
Club Soda

And because I am Freaking Cute; the pulp of a Lime because she knows I LOVE THAT!!

Of course we bought our Mojitos by the pitcher. A time saving device, the pitcher, for four girls out on a hot day.

So the stage was set!! An afternoon of drinks and snacks. Later walks in the beach and other things at home. USE YOUR IMAGINATION YOU PERV!!

Chloe, that's my amazing girl friend, headed home about 9 hours after our day together started out, I was left lying in bed, smiling, tired and more than a little buzzed. A happy girl!!

When I woke up I realized that I had missed an appointment in Second Life and also had promised to attend my Second Life Roller Derby practice.

Off to the computer,,struggled my avatar into a practice uniform and arrived late to practice only to find out that we were having a scrimmage. To say the least,,,I SUCKED LAST NIGHT ON SKATES!! Some advice to my teammates; if you can not keep your eyes open to see the track,,you can not block the Jammer. Believe me,,,I was having lots of trouble seeing the track and the Jammer was so fast that I am sure she had a rocket up her ass. I swear I saw a vapor trail as she went by.

The moral of the story, and my stories rarely have morals, is that in any life Real or Virtual, STAY THE F$$K OFF ROLLER SKATES!!

Love ya,
Night

PS...Sorry Mallory.