Passenger Side Airbag Off

Where Do I Go

by Lisa Griffin

 

Where do I go?
When I'm feeling so lost and I don't want to be found.
When I'm looking and listening for that peace in my heart.
But I know I'll never hear that sound.
Where do I go?
Where do I go when I'm trying to laugh but all I can do I cry?
I'm trying to keep on living because I'm not ready to die.
Where do I go because the sun never seems to shine?
Can you give me my life back it's not yours it's mine?
How do I keep going, how do I fight this fight?
I'm tired of feeling beat down, but I'm trying with all my might!
Where do I go when my head hangs so low?
Please give me an answer because I just don't know!
Where do I go?
Does it take very long?
For me to find that peace and a place where I belong.
I need you to help me, help me to take a stand.
I'm scared to do it by myself, will you please take my hand?
Where do I go? Where do I go? Where do I go?
Do you know?


The other day I wrote about things that could shorten your lives but when I examined those issues one thing glares out at me, loneliness. We are not meant to live solitary lives. Interaction with others is a key to our well being.

I am am admitted loner. I believe that trait has affected the entire course of my life. The idea that I do not need anyone or I do not want to depend on anyone is a false premise that I have finally stopped. All it really took was a good woman who stands up beside me and does not take my shit. It's a shame it took me so long to find her but I guess all good things are worth the wait.

I appreciate her effort to eradicate my loneliness but there are signs all around me that remind me of less happy times. One of those is the 'passenger side airbag on/off light'. When no one is sitting in the passenger seat the airbag is inoperable.

My car is new so CeeCee is the only person to have sat in that seat. Every time I start the car I am reminded of the wonderful weekend we spent together. It is also a constant reminder of how much I miss holding her hand, hearing her laugh at my stupid jokes and even her frightening scowl.  I am sure everyone has little things that remind them of someone dear to them. Like a whiff of someone wearing the same perfume or someone with a similar laugh(or in CeeCee's case a similar snort, lol),

While this silly light reminds me of when I was lonely it also acts as a reminder that I am no longer lonely. It's a nice and secure feeling.

It's funny how one person can make positive changes in your life. Since CeeCee came into my life I have had not only an upgrade in my mental state but also have seen improvements in my health.

I also know that we can not depend on anyone person for our happiness. We are responsible for who we are and how we conduct ourselves. To that end, this morning, I volunteered to work at the local Interfaith Thrift Shop two mornings a week. I will be doing something worthwhile and at the same time interacting with other people on a regular basis.

It's time to pay forward my good fortune and try and make a difference for someone else. Kiddies kick the monkey of loneliness off your back and get out into the world. Make a life for yourself. Take it from me; the rewards will be bountiful and your satisfaction immense.

Randy