The Cats Meow, Or Pajamas, Or Litter Box Contents

I was told this morning that I was 'the cats meow' which is a compliment that is much better than being compared to the contents of a cats litter box. A comparison that has been made before, lol.

The saying 'your the cats meow' means you are a highly admired person. Now that I like.

                                              Is that cute or what?


The saying 'you are the cats pajamas' means the same as 'you are the cats meow'. They are slang from the 1920's a very colorful time in our history.

 

                           Didn't think I could find a cat in pajamas did you?

The 1920's saw prohibition which allowed the rise of organized crime through bootlegging. But it was also a wonderful time to be growing up in the United States.

The 20's gave rise to so many fun slang sayings like:

~All Wet - describes an erroneous idea or individual, as in, "he's all wet."
~Attaboy - well done!; also Attagirl!
~Bank's Closed - no kissing or making out - i.e. - "Sorry, Mac, the bank's closed."
 ~Bluenose - An excessively puritanical person, a prude, Creator of "the Blue Nozzle Curse."

~Bronx Cheer - A loud spluttering noise, used to indicate disapproval. Same as raspberry . One of my personal favorites, lol.

~Fire extinguisher - a chaperon

~Flat Tire - A dull witted, insipid, disappointing date. Same as pill, pickle, drag, rag, oilcan

~Handcuff - an engagement ring

~Iron - a motorcycle

~Sinker - a doughnut

~Upchuck - To vomit when one has drunk too much

~You slay me - that's funny

 

There is an entire website dedicated to 1920's sayings; http://local.aaca.org/bntc/slang/slang.htm.

 

The 1920's always remind me of my mom and dad who were born in 1919. They met on Marcy Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY when they were about 6 years old when mom ran dad down when she was trying to learn to roller skate. From that day on they were constant companions never dating anyone else in their lives.

 

Funny what memories old sayings  bring back.

 

Randy

Sending Daddy Dog On Vacation

I have this stuffed animal, a dog, in storage.  It was my daughters and she named it Daddy Dog. He has been in storage a long time gathering dust and looking sad. Funny we are starting to look alike, lol. It's time to send him on a vacation.

'Unagi Travel offers stuffed animal vacations for prices that range anywhere between $20 and $55 depending on the destination, and toy travelers have so far visited destinations as varied as Boston, Hollywood, and London', according to the Huffington Post.

Daddy Dog wants to visit Hollywood to see the stars on the sidewalk. One star in particular, Lassie.

 

He has always had a crush on Lassie. She is all he can talk about, lol. When he was a puppy we had to sit him in front of the television so he could watch hours of Lassie shows and movies. I think he grew to like Timmy Martin and the fictional Martin family, from the old Lassie television show, more than my own family. He dreamed of telling everyone "Timmy is in the well!".

I know he will want to visit the home of Jon Provost who played Timmy Martin in the series. He would kill for a picture of himself with his beloved Timmy.

I know he wants to meet Lassie. The current Lassie is the 10th generation from the original dog.

I have not the strength to tell Daddy Dog that the fictional Lassie has always been a female, however, every dog to play the role has in fact been a male, as male collies have more attractive coats.

That news will kill him. Poor straight lovesick dog that he is.

Randy

Who Is Your Muse

In mythology, the Muses were nine goddesses who symbolized the arts and sciences. Today, a muse is a person who serves as an artist's inspiration. Often filmmakers talk about a certain actor being a muse — meaning the actor inspired a movie. Writers, painters, musicians, and other artists have muses. Muse can also refer to thinking deeply. If you muse about something, you're giving it serious thought. You can't muse in five seconds. People muse on certain ideas for years.

I do have people in my life that act as my muses. People funnel ideas to me almost on a daily basis and I act on them only after I have given thought to where an idea may take me.

Muses come to me in many forms; ones that elicit happy thoughts and ones that are darker and unhappy. What I write on a particular day depends on my mood and which muse has my ear. I am like that writer of children's books who when happy writes about fairies and when unhappy writes about goblins and ghosts.

On my unhappy days you will probably find me writing about politics or attacking people I deem stupid. On happy days I am writing about things that make me laugh and hopefully my readers find funny.

Whether you are a writer, painter, cloths designer or entertainer you will have you muse and most likely more than one.

In life all people have someone in their lives that inspire them and therefore become their muse. You do not have to write a poem or produce a sculpture to have a muse in your life.

My muse flits around sprinkling fairy dust and keeping me from slipping to a darker side. It's nice to have something that keeps politics and stupidity away form my door. I am musefully going through life skipping from one lily pad to the next happily singing off key and chasing the fish away.

Randy

I Love The Sound Of A Snort

“Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale", Will Durst

No you evil people; not the up the nose snort. The kind of snort people make when they laugh uncontrollably and air rushes from their nose. I love to make people laugh until they snort because then I know that they are actually laughing and not just going through the motions.

The dictionary defines snort as a rough, noisy sound made by breathing forcefully through the nostrils, as a horse or pig does. HMMM! That horse and pig thing is not going to go over well with some people, lol. A people snort causes contagious laughter. When someone laughs to the point of snorting those around them start laughing harder. It's like the snort commands those who hear it to laugh.

I think men snort and do not think much about it but women seem to get self conscious and try and stifle their snorts. Stifling snorts is harder than Archie Bunker stifling Edith Bunker. An impossible job that only turns out cuter and funnier.

So laugh, snort and have a good time. Life is way to short to not let your inner snort out to play.

Randy

The Dirt Road,Chapter 7~~A Short Story By Randy Mantovani

7

 



The big day had finally arrived. Cheyenne Duffy was marrying Alex Cummings on a crisp December afternoon at The Ferry Road Baptist Church. Alex had been discharged from the army two weeks earlier and had already begun work on the Cummings farm.

Their house was finished and filled with furniture that has been in the Cummings or Duffy families for generations. No one on Ferry Road could boast a finer home.

Being brought up in a very large Italian family I was use to weddings being elaborate affairs. Four or Five hundred guests, live bands, open bars and restaurant prepared food were the norm for me. But on Ferry Road the church wedding was simple and the reception was in the church basement with food provided by every kitchen along the road. I liked this simple approach to new lives starting together. It seemed somehow a normal way to start a life. The entire close knit community was there at the beginning and would remain along side the couple their entire lives.

That’s the real joy of life on Ferry road. A close community where everyone, even me as an outsider, was treated like family.

I had spent the week prior to the wedding kid proofing my house. Alex and Cheyenne were going to Disney World for a weeks honeymoon and as I was the only one who worked at home I was elected to watch little Alice while they were away.

I had so much fun with Alice around the house it was hard giving her up to Margaret Duffy when she came home from work.

The newlyweds returned from their honeymoon looking more mature than when they left. Alex jumped back into farm work the first day back and Cheyenne had her home running like clockwork. I watched with great admiration as they laid out there first garden plot as husband and wife.

Ferry Road is home to hard working people who raise their children to understand the value of work and family. There were thousands of places like this spread all over the country but this was my place now and here I would stay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Randy

I Have Gout~~I Should Have Worn A Condom

OK so the title makes no sense but I did get your attention. My great toe, which does not feel so great today, is swollen, red and hot. I can hardly walk on my right foot. Even the weight of my blanket rubbing against my toe drove me crazy last night.

Funny thing is that last night I was told my Second Life feet were ugly and this morning I have gout. I wish I could buy prim feet in real life, lol.

I am lucky as this is my second bout of gout this year and I have medications on hand to fight it. Especially oxycodone so I can function, lol.

According to the Mayo Clinic; "Gout occurs when urate crystals accumulate in your joint, causing the inflammation and intense pain of a gout attack. Urate crystals can form when you have high levels of uric acid in your blood. Your body produces uric acid when it breaks down purines — substances that are found naturally in your body, as well as in certain foods, such as organ meats, anchovies, herring, asparagus and mushrooms. "

"Normally, uric acid dissolves in your blood and passes through your kidneys into your urine. But sometimes your body either produces too much uric acid or your kidneys excrete too little uric acid. When this happens, uric acid can build up, forming sharp, needle-like urate crystals in a joint or surrounding tissue that cause pain, inflammation and swelling."

My gout is caused by the medications I take to combat my Congestive Heart Failure, Lasix and low dose aspirin.

Gout occurs more often in men than it does in women, primarily because women tend to have lower uric acid levels than men do. After menopause, however, women's uric acid levels approach those of men. Men also are more likely to develop gout earlier — usually between the ages of 40 and 50 — whereas women generally develop signs and symptoms after menopause

Medications are the most proven, effective way to treat gout symptoms. However, making certain changes to your diet also may help.

The American Dietetic Association recommends following these guidelines during a gout attack:

• Drink 8 to 16 cups (about 2 to 4 liters) of fluid each day, with at least half being water.
• Avoid alcohol.
• Eat a moderate amount of protein, preferably from healthy sources, such as low-fat or fat-free dairy, tofu, eggs, and nut butters.
• Limit your daily intake of meat, fish and poultry to 4 to 6 ounces (113 to 170 grams).

Things you can do to help prevent gout episodes if you are prone to get them are:

~Keep your fluid intake high.
~Eat a balanced diet
~Get your protein from low-fat dairy products
~Limit your intake of meat, fish and poultry
~Maintain a desirable body weight

I am going to be cranky for a few days kiddies so if I get testy or insult your favorite human being, in this blog, it's the gout talking. Unless that person is stupid. Then it's me talking, lol.

Randy

Chely Wright A Class Act And A Brave Woman

I have always been a Chely Wright fan. Every song she sings is a hit with me. Chely's star was rising fast until she came out as lesbian. Then her life and career took a hit that was so unfair.

Fans who loved her music abandoned her because she came out. How stupid!! She is the same person as the day before she came out. I hate when being honest hurts a person. Chely is a Christian who happens to be gay. Frankly I became a bigger supporter after her revelation.

I take up this tale today because there is a movement going on to return Chely to the Grand Ole Opry stage. Before she came out she was a regular at the Opry. Since coming out she has not been invited back at all. Opry fans are being deprived of one of the best female artists around and just because of some misguided homophobes.

I would ask that you spend some time listening to her music and decide if you like her as a singer. The music is what counts and the fact that she is a good person who deserves better.

After you listen to her jump over to http://www.change.org/GrandOleOpry and sign the petition to bring Chely back to the Opry.

It is the right thing to do.

Randy

Shout Down The Hijackers Of Your Religion

The other night a blog subject was suggested by a friend; 'Will The Moderate Muslin Please Stand Up'. After a google search I discovered that's been done to death. But it made me think about the way people hijack religions for their own agenda.

Religion is the 20th and 21st centuries hijacking hot spot. In a way, and probably by a stretch of my beliefs, I can understand why many fall into 'radical Islam. Culturally I think the middle east, with extension to other heavily populated Muslim countries, is ripe for radical Islam to grow. My concern is closer to home.

The rise of 'radical Christianity' and to some extent 'radical Judism' here at home concerns me greatly. I was raised a Christian and have lived among Jews in Brooklyn, NY. Christianity taught me that Jesus is love. My Jewish neighbors taught me that they are a gentle pious people. So I do not understand the hate that pours out of some Christian organizations like the Westboro Baptist Church and others like them.

Religion should be a calming and beautiful experience. It should bring people together in a peaceful way. It should never be the birth place of hate and vitriol.

The need, and I do believe its a need for power by some people regardless of what religion they practice, to interpret the scriptures for their individual goals or ideals confounds me. The bastardization of the scriptures for ones own use is a crime against God.

God created everything around us. Whether He did it with a big bang or seven days of creation is a mystery. When I meet him I will ask. Until then I choose to stay out of the mainstream religious circles and see God in all things and all people.

Religion should leave you with a warm happy feeling not hate. I urge you all to take back your religious values from the hijackers. Shout them down and bring sanity back to your worship.

Randy

When Opportunity Knocks Answer The Call

"Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late", Rita Coolidge.

Like most people I have missed many opportunities in my life. Family, love and business are but a few areas of opportunity that have slipped through my fingers. I have also discovered that as I add years to my life the number of opportunities that present themselves decreases immensely.

Recently opportunity knocked at my door and I finally opened it to find something beautiful. My life had become stagnant and lonely these past 10 years. When I heard that knock I usually hid in the fantasy of Second Life afraid to open it because I believed my heart could not take any more kicking. In doing so I let other opportunities slip away but not this time.

"Its impossible" said pride.
"Its risky" said experience.
"Its pointless" said reason.
"Give it a try" whispered heart.

That was my thought process. Pride and fear, which I have way to much of, have always held me back. I reasoned that my past failures made any opportunity pointless. I was my own worst enemy.

Thank God my beat up old heart has some life left in it. Putting pride, fear and reason in the back seat of my car I am letting my heart drive me to my opportunity.

When you let your heart lead it births hope. Hope can be a beautiful thing especially when it comes to fruition.

When the heart leads it also produces bravery; crushing fear and driving you forward.

So I have heard the knock and I have managed to pull back the chain, undo the bolt, unhook the two locks and turn off the alarm. Win lose or draw; in 18 days I am walking through that door and grabbing onto all my possibilities.

With Gods help, and my brand new car, I will make a safe trip through that door.

Randy

The Dirt Road,Chapter 6~~A Short Story By Randy Mantovani

6

　

Waking to a symphony of dogs barking is an everyday occurrence on the road. Every house had at least one dog and many, especially when hunters were in residence, had many more Usually dogs were not a problem but local packs of wild dogs were always roaming around. They were hunting dogs that were released by their owners after the seasons end. It seems that dogs could be replaced easily so some hunters would release them instead of feeding them off hunting season. It’s a sad situation.

As the dogs get older and more desperate for food they start to raid garbage cans and even chicken coops for food. I have an old hound dog that warns me when anyone comes onto my yard. I am not creative in naming my animals so I just call him Hound Dog.

One night , in late November, the area dogs seemed to begin to bark all at once. Lights came on all over the road. It was not uncommon for dogs to bark but not in such a large numbers. Men, shotguns on hand, began filtering out into their yards checking around their houses.

I stepped out my back door in time to see Hound Dog fighting with two dogs near his food bowl. It was a frightening site. Just as I turned to look for a weapon to help my dog a shotgun blast made me jump out of my shoes. One of the dogs flew back against a tree and laid dead where it landed, The other ran like its tail was on fire.

I saw John Duffy walk around the side of my house. He just looked at me and nodded; walking over to the dead dog and checking it. I took Hound Dog in the house and checked him over. A few cuts but nothing serious. A good dog indeed.

The next morning John Duffy organized a wild dog hunt to try to put a stop to these food raids. Fear of a child being attacked was real. These were good men and would make every effort to capture rather than kill these animals. It would be hard to accomplish especially as we drew closer to their home ground. The fish and game wardens accompanied the hunt as supervisors and to lend a legal aspect to this adventure.

I seemed strange seeing dogs hunting dogs. Hound Dog was left at home. He had had enough excitement for awhile.

As we walked through the woods I could hear dogs barking, fighting and shotguns going off all around me. The men were protecting their dogs as much a themselves. This was a very big wild dog pack.

Traps had been set out and a few dogs were captured that way. They had to be approached carefully and with protective gear on so they could be sedated and taken away. They were the lucky ones. There was no cruelty in the way these men felt about these dogs. There was not hate for these animals. The hate was placed where it belonged; on the heads of those that treated them so bad and released them on their own.

As we approached the den most of the wild dogs had been disposed of or had run off. All that was left was a small pack of puppies huddled together for warmth and confused and crying. They were scooped up and we all headed home.

Next morning I sat on my back porch watching Hound Dog study this little white ball of fur I kept. In my uncreative way I named her Fur.

All was back to normal on the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Randy

The Sperm!! The Bacon!! The Sperm!!

On the heels of my worries about the government shutdown comes this disturbing article by Sara gates 'Bacon Harms Male Fertility? Link Found Between Processed Meat, Semen Quality". Damn scientists want to ruin my life.

Bacon is an essential food in the male diet. Without bacon we would be forced to eat and even like more veggies. We need to put a stop to these scientists that want to change the male lifestyle and turn us into robots obedient to women's needs.

When women are talking to us we use the thought of eating succulent bacon to mask the fact that we are not actually listening to them. Can you imagine a world where men are deprived of bacon? We would be expected to care what color the curtains are or whether we have a love seat in our living rooms.

It would be the end of independent male thought as we know it. The 'man cave' would become a place with lace and light colors forcing us to change our NFL sports package to, I can barely write this, hours of women's gymnastics.

There must be something to debunk this study in the Bible, the Koran, Good Housekeeping or the Betty Crocker Cook Book.

I am calling on all men to start hording bacon. Clear the grocery store shelves of this precious commodity. The hell with saving gold for retirement; save bacon it may become the worlds most valuable commodity. Protect all pigs!!! Give them names like pets. Women will never allow them to be taken away if they have names.

And at least once in your lives men try eating this;

 

Its pork wrapped in bacon and served without veggies. Now this will improve your sperm quality!!!

Damn Scientists!!

Randy

Government Shutdown~~A Remake Of The Wizard of Oz

Just like in The Wizard of Oz we have congress and the senate looking for a heart, a brain and courage and all being led, if leadership is what this is, by Barack 'Dorthy' Obama. All these people following the yellow brick road that is paved with the hopes and dreams of the America people. A yellow brick road that leads to government shutdowns, debt default and the stupidity of elected officials that we are supposed to trust.

Where is The Wizard when we need him? He needs to give heart to these DC babies so they can see the suffering of the people that elected them. He needs to give them a brain so they can find a way forward.

Then he needs to give courage to a president that wants to remain mired in over spending and lacks the will power to make meaningful decisions.

A brain may have kept these people working in Washington instead of taking a vacation when they knew this fight was looming. Sure they need to go to their home districts now and again but with this ahead of them they should have gone home, given the wife a little pickle tickle and got their worthless asses back to DC.

Lets leave this 11th hour bullshit to Hollywood where it belongs. This is real life gentlemen, not a fantasy.

Randy

Treatment Of American Veterans Is Disgraceful

As a result of the government shutdown many American veterans are unnecessarily targeted by politicians that, in many cases, have no idea what it means to serve their country. If these politicians had any clue as to what it means to be a military veteran they would never forget that service and would always hold the men and women of our armed services in high regard.

More and more we are electing people who have not tasted military service. People who put the military on the back burner until they feel a need to send them into harms way to protect their collective cowardly asses. People that would rather give handouts to those who will not work and overlook those who serve.

The closing of open air memorials, that are walk through sites and require little supervision is bad enough but the withholding of any kind of benefit to our military, especially death benefits for families is a disgusting act perpetrated by those who have no clue of what 'serving this country' really means.

I believe that all people that want to run for national elected office should be required to have military service as part of their experience. Maybe then they would understand what it means to serve their country.

Personally I will never again vote for a person who has not served in the military regardless of party affiliation. I will laugh in the faces of those who claim to have served their country in groups like the Peace Corp when in most cases they are actually serving some other country.

I lived through a time when our military men and women were treated better overseas then they were here at home. A time when they arrived home to protests and labels like 'baby killers' instead of parades and handshakes for their service.

I see the present politicians in the same light as those protesters. Misguided children with no clue to what serving really means.

This disrespect, with some notable exceptions, spreads from the President on down to the Senate and Congress. Shame on you!!!

I have told this story before. Sitting in the San Antonio airport with my son, who was in uniform, when a woman came up and thanked him for his service. A proud and very sad moment in my life. I wish someone, anyone, would have thanked us for our service in the 60's and early 70's.

Randy

The Dirt Road,Chapter 5~~A Short Story By Randy Mantovani

 

5

　

The hot summer days of July and August were stifling on Ferry Road. When the wind blew dust filled the humid air cover everything in a layer of dirt that changes the color of most houses a murky shade of brown and made all cars the same color. Children seemed oblivious to the heat and the dust playing outdoors for hours at a time. Men went tended to the fields or worked on equipment without complaint.

The only one that seemed to complain was me. Being a relative new comer to The Road I seemed to suffer alone venturing out of my air conditioning only when absolutely necessary.

Every few days a water truck would drive the road spraying water to help keep the dust down. The children rode their bikes or ran behind the truck getting covered in water that would soon turn to mud as the road dried and they once again became dust covered. This reminded me of my own childhood growing up in New Jersey. The mosquito spraying truck would come by in the early evenings and all the kids would run behind the spray breathing in the vapors like it was the odor of fresh baked bread. We never suspected that we were breathing in poison. Either did our parents who seemed to cheer on this activity from our front porches.

My childhood memories always flashed before me on The Road. From the water truck to the ice cream vendor that came every day I found myself reliving my life through these children.

Mid August local high school football practice started and the boys who were in the fields all summer added that to their daily routines. Two a day practices added to a full’s days farm work. These young men amazed me with their work ethic. The girls got involved with cross country running, cheer leading and band. Everyone’s days seemed to be extended by many hours to allow them to accomplish all that was to be done.

I watched them drag themselves into their homes each night, eat dinner, and still have the strength to finish up the rest of their chores. I was like watching an updated, and real, version of ‘Little House On The Prairie’.

 Life around the Duffy house contradicted the vision of the easy and slow rural life. Things always seemed to be moving at a rapid pace. The farm work, school, church activities and everyday tasks filled their days. They seemed to move at the speed of light seamlessly moving form activity to activity.

The restoration of the old Hunt house was almost finished and with Alex home in a couple of months wedding planning was added to the list of things to accomplish. Cheyenne was busy putting her own personal touch on the house she would probably spend the rest of her life.

Her and Alex’s future was set and she was walking on air.

A sense of contentment seemed to surround the Duffy family and all of Ferry Road. I had finally found a home among real people.

Life was getting better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Randy

PS.. Sorry I did not get this out on Saturday. Have been off my game for a few days.

I Had Honor~~Now?

I live by an old code; a man's honor is paramount to his life. Last night I threw my honor away at great cost. That cost was not paid by me but by someone that I care for greatly.

When faced with a choice of hope for a real life and honoring my commitment in Second Life I chose to grab at real life. Some will say that is the right decision, and I truly believe it is the correct one, but someone else paid my toll to real life. A price she did not deserve.

Sometimes I wish God would just tell us what our paths should be and send us off with readable road signs that guide us to a proper ending. Life would be so much simpler. But choosing our own paths is what makes us human I guess.

So I have moved on and left a wake of destruction behind me for someone else to live with and clean up. I can not apologize enough for my behavior. I pray, as I believe I have, made the correct decision.

While I move on to what should me a fruitful real life I pray that she recovers from my behavior.

I have much work to do to recover what is left of my honor.

Nothing fancy today kiddies. Just a profound sense of sadness and loss.

Randy

Finding Your Smile

“If you're reading this...Congratulations, you're alive. If that's not something to smile about, then I don't know what is”, Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Feet.

These days I find myself smiling a lot. Even laughing out loud at the silliest things. We all have a need to smile and laugh. It's healthy for our well being. It portrays a sense of contentment with one's life.

When I am not on one of political rants, making you smile and laugh is my goal. The funny thing about smiling and laughing is that sometimes making others smile and laugh is easier than making yourself smile.

I do smile when I get good feedback here and actually laugh at some of the idiotic feedback I get. So writing this blog gives me a sense of joy and happiness.

Humans need to grab there happiness when ever they can because happiness can be so fleeting. One minute you are holding it firmly in your hand and the next the wind carries it away like a stray balloon.

We all reach a point in our lives when our grip on happiness is not as secure as we want. Some days smiling seems a long reach away. Happiness can seem to be an unreachable goal.

But some days you open your eyes and happiness is lying next to you and smiling becomes an automatic response. These are the days I love. Waking with a smile on my face sets a wonderful tone for my day.

On rough days I purposely seek out my cousin Anthony on Face Book as he always has something funny posted there. Some people seem to float on a cloud of happiness and Anthony is one of those.

My point here is that there is always something to smile about. Even when faced with profound sadness a smile can be coaxed out of you by something.

Seek out what makes you smile and enjoy it every day. Find a way to wake with a smile. You will be healthier and happier for it.

“He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse”, Jarod Kintz, The Titanic Would Never Have Sunk If It Were Made Out Of A Sink.

Randy

Me And My Robot

"Zombies, vampires, Frankenstein's monster, robots, Wolfman - all of this stuff was really popular in the '50s. Robots are the only one of those make-believe monsters that have become real. They are really in our lives in a meaningful way. That's pretty fascinating to me", Daniel H. Wilson

The progress that has been made in robotics is amazing. Robots can be used to do every day mundane chores like house keeping and vehicle assembly. Now scientists are looking at how we interact with robots. Robots will take on more meaningful tasks in our lives. Tasks like companionship, helping raise our children and even as lovers. They will learn to interact with us on an emotional level.

I want my personal robot to be as compelling in a combat situation as she is when slipping into lingerie. She needs to be able to protect me from the coming Zombie Apocalypse while being a good companion and yes lover.

I will purchase little robots to do housekeeping and cooking chores leaving her free for her primary goals. I could even get her a stylist robot to help her keep her youthful and beautiful look after a hard day of zombie killing and area patrol duties.

At night, after all the perimeter defenses are checked and all is secure, she could settle down with me for a nice cuddle.

The upside to 'robot campanuionships' are many. Have you noticed that robot woman are almost always depicted as beautiful in films. And as we all know Hollywood never lies or exaggerates, lol.

When you take your robot companion to a movie she will nerve complain about what movie you choose(thereby putting an end to romantic comedies) and you will never have to share your popcorn.

Your robot companion, if programed correctly, will never get upset if you decide to have a flesh and blood girl friend on the side. A plus in my book!!

Of course human women will have robot companions of their own. Marriage and divorce will become non existent thereby diminishing the influence of ministers and lawyers in our lives. A good thing I think.

All in all life will be good.

I love my fantasy world, lol.

Randy

The Dirt Road, Chapter 4~~A Short Story By Randy Mantovani

4

The Farmers Club was a place where the local men gathered after a long day in the fields and before they went home to dinner. John Duffy took me there shortly after we met and I have been going every day since. It’s a rich atmosphere filled with working men’s attitudes. A place where men solve everyday problems over cheap beer and cigarettes.

The conversations always turn to times past when tobacco was king of the fields here and before law suits ruined the tobacco economy of this area. Corn, soy beans and cotton make up the bulk of the areas crops but with incomes down I have noticed some farmers are not coming in to the club as often. Times and income have changed since the cash cow of tobacco has disappeared.

Today’s thoughts turned quickly to the war in Afghanistan as 4 Ferry Road boys are serving in the military. Families are close knit and any news from these deployed kids is a hot topic. Most of the Ferry Road men have served. Military service is like a right of passage here and these men defend their service fiercely.

I was in the club the day the news came in about the Pauley boy being killed. I saw grown men tear up as a loss like this is felt all along the road. I walked home with John Duffy that night and arrived to the Duffy women cooking for the Pauley family. Alice crying while she prepared food. Crying for Alan Pauley and for her Alex who was still deployed.

When death comes to a rural community every person is affected. The passing of the elderly is expected and received almost welcomingly . Especially for those who were suffering. But the loss of any young person is met with massive grief. Not just by the family involved but by all of Ferry Road. This close knit community feels each others pain and shows it openly.

Alan Pauley was buried in the family burial plot at the edge of the Pauley

The silence was deafening at the club. Barely a word was spoken. These strong men had looks of despair on their faces. Looks that I had never seen before. John and I walked home in silence. I watched him wipe tears from his eyes before he entered his home.

On Monday morning Peter and Charles Pauley, ages 18 and 20, enlisted in the army. Life went on as usual on Ferry Road but the sense of loss lingered for some time.

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Randy

What An Ass!!!

"I want women to be liberated and still have a nice ass and shake it", Shirley Maclaine.

It has been the desire of men for thousands of years. Painters have immortalized it on canvas. Photographers obsess over it. Wars have been fought over it( I am sure that the Trojan war was fought over the beauty of Helen's ass). Men watch it move seductively across a room causing fantasies that carry them to new heights.

 

The female ass is a thing of beauty that incites male desires. Watching a woman walk across a room, hips swaying and beautiful cheeks dropping and rising in perfect harmony like a well oiled machine, makes me quiver with delight.

Down through the ages men have changed in what they see as the perfect women's ass. Paintings depict round plump things of beauty and desire. Modern times have seen the rise of men desirous of tight little behinds that seem to sing when they are put in motion.

Personally I love them all. When women say to me, "Your an ass man", I take that as a statement of my obsession with the female ass and not their opinion of me personally, lol.

When a woman walks her ass beckons men to follow. It's the first thing I notice. The female gait was designed to attract men and entrap them.

Look closely at a women's bottom. The curves and smoothness of it. The touchability. But do not touch without permission as you will quickly become the ass.

Whether God or evolution, the female ass is one instance when nature has outdone itself.

So what do women think of all this?

"Men look at women's behinds and go: what an ass! Women look at men's faces and go: what an ass!", Unknown.

That about sums it up.

Heads up; if I am walking behind you in Second Life it's your ass I am following. Where ever you are going.

The female ass; "Like a Rose given as a gift to man", Me.

Randy

So There Is A Government Shutdown~~Is Anything Else Going On?

On would think that with the government shutdown going on the entire rest of the world has stopped functioning. Are all earthlings ears, eyes and minds concentrated on Washington, DC? With George Clooney, George Lopez and William Baldwin all releasing shutdown statements this week( and really who the fuck cares what these hacks have to say) Hollywood must have all the answers.

In Other News:

HMMM!! It seems that Marie Osmond has aged. Now this is important news. I thought she would look 21 forever. Bummer!!

Hobby Lobby is accused of being anti-Semitic. It seems they are boycotting Hanukkah and Passover because their owner is a Christian. So much for Christian tolerance and love.

Joel Olsteen says that God accepts gays. Well on behalf of all gays, thank you for your support you bigoted bastard.

This just in!! Rick Perry is still an asshole.

6,000 year old wine has been unearthed in Greece. See the Greeks can save when they want to. Wait they are trying to drink it. All that aging down the drain.

John Stewart is front and center on the shutdown debate. Considering the comedic condition of the press these days one more comedian reporting the news is acceptable.

With the loss of the Panda Cam, to the shutdown, a new cam featuring a masturbating bear has arisen to take its place. Oh the entertainment value.

In some good news, local DC business' are offering furloughed government workers free coffee and hamburgers. Those same establishments are charging members of congress and the senate double the usual price. Don't forget to nail Obama with the price rise next time he slips away from Michelle for a hamburger.

The shutdown has not stopped people from inventing new products. Like the Booty Pop, a butt enhancing pantie insert.

 

                                                   Yummy, lol.

Other newer inventions are the hair rings(earrings with real hair hanging from them), F-Cup cookies to enlarge breasts, a combination electric razor and vibrator for those times when shaving is just not enough and finally a women's product that will solve the problem of stopping every hour to pee on long trips;

 

Basically a feminine funnel so she can fill the empty Coke bottle just like her husband. I see knocking off 45 minutes for a 4 hour drive. It also cuts out the need to sit and pee there by saving on the toilet paper that is now used to cover the seat. Go Green!!

Randy

Political Idiocy At Work

My first reaction to this idiotic government shutdown was anger followed by disgust for lawmakers that can not do their jobs. Then my thoughts turned to those who are out of work. Those who will suffer because they are out of a job. Families that will struggle to make ends meet.

"Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men", Confucius.

I see very little compassion and wisdom in the course either political party has taken. I do see false courage in sticking to principals that will hurt everyone outside of those hallowed government halls that are now populated by men who I believe to be less principled and more morally bankrupt. Partisan politics will be the ruination of this country. We are to strong to be taken down from outside sources but we are just stupid enough to take ourselves down.

These elected officials have forgotten who they represent. Listening to the people has become an in one ear and out the other exercise. Instead of taking a vacation this summer they should have stayed in session and solved this problem without these eleventh hour theatrics.

Republicans need to propose a budget that is responsible and stop trying to defund what is the law of the land. If they want to stop Obamacare then get a Republican elected president, with a cooperative congress and senate, and repeal it after 2016.

Democrats need to accept that giving a pass to corporations and then insisting on the implementation of the personal mandate is wrong especially when we are not fully prepared to implement the program. If they are such strong believers in The Affordable Care Act then all Americans should be under it equally. Do not opt themselves and their union friends out and lay this law at the feet of the poor.

Finally, all elected officials need to see the harm that these decisions have upon families and individuals who depend on paychecks or entitlements to make ends meet.

Govern with compassion and stop puffing your chests out like proud tom turkeys displaying false courage. Because just like Tom Turkey you can be led to the slaughter in the next election.

Randy

PS.... Get ready for phase 2 of this idiocy when the debt ceiling debate comes up next month.