Living In Germany~~It Feels Like It Was 100 Years Ago

It's one of those sleepless nights that makes my mind wander in ten directions at once. I am feeling particularly lonely tonight so my thoughts seem to be wandering toward times when I have felt this way in the past.

I lived in Nuremberg, Germany from 1973 - 1976 while serving in the army. I was divorced with a daughter at home and a life I missed tremendously. My days were full of work and I spent a lot of time in the training areas as ambulance coverage. The nights were long and mostly filled with the stupidity that loneliness and boredom produced.

I was dating a local German girl who was fun, loving and loyal but had one goal in mind; going home with me. I was not ready for nor needed a serious relationship at that time.

I had been in Germany for about two years when I met my first civilian American girl in country. I had not seen an American woman out of uniform in all that time. LOL! Let me rephrase that; I had seen plenty of American women out of their uniforms but none that were civilians.

She was on a trip through Europe with friends and was visiting Nuremberg. She was also scheduled to leave the city the next morning.

We met in a German bar that catered to soldiers and was near the base. Even to this day I can close my eyes and see her clearly; blond hair long to about an inch below her shoulders, green eyes, this pretty little turned up nose and light freckles. Her hands so soft my skin got goose bumps holding them.

We had a couple of drinks and then went for a walk in a near by park. A place where we could see the Old City of Nuremberg lit up. We sat for hours talking, holding each other and kissing. Like two kids amazed that they had found someone. Nothing sordid. More like a Midwest sit on the porch with your girl kind of night.

Then I put her in a cab with her friends never to be seen again. This may have been the best night I spent in the 30 months I was stationed in Germany. The memories of that night held my loneliness at arms length for the next six months when I returned home. That memory still helps to some extent.

But I am now 65 years old and a veteran of the lonely wars. I certainly have had my chances in life; three ex wives that I am a better friend to than I ever was a husband and four children who I have taught to be independent and live their own lives.

All that leading me to this point in my life when I have come to realize that I will finish my journey alone. I do not see any pretty blond haired girls coming over the next hill. All I see are the hills now.

Don't get me wrong; I have had a wonderful life. I have seen things that most people only dream about. And I have been privileged to have been loved and returned love to  some amazing women. I have memories that can keep me warm for many nights.  

I am a good man and and not used up yet. I can also guarantee you that I will continue to look over that next hill in the hopes that I will find someone who will join me on my road and help me get over those hills.

Randy