The Book Of Randy~~Epilogue!!

After four days of my views on religion and the worship of God where do we go from here?

What do we know according to The Book Of Randy?

We know, and I am sure most of us agree, that God was not an 'acient astronaut'. Even if there had been an intervention into human genetics, by some alien race, that still gives us no information toward solving the question of Gods origins. So lets place this theory where it belongs. In the trash bin!

My belief that Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha and all the other great religious teachers are just that; Teachers!! Sent form God to teach us and prepare us for our lives with God. How they were perceived by those who they ministered to is varied. I believe that the 'free will' given us by God explains how mere man received Gods teachings, through his prophets, and how that knowledge manifested itself into different religions.

Picture a human, on the road to religious enlightenment, coming upon a crossroad or fork in the road. That fork has many tines and each of us needs to follow the path that best suits our beliefs and religious goals.

The thing to remember here is that eventually all these paths will recombine into one road ending at Gods feet and his judgement on how your life was spent. Muslims will stand beside Buddhists, Jews next to Christians with ever religious sect in existence present together in site of God for judgement.

How you get there matters not. How you lived the life God gave you is all that matters. You will be judged on your actions during your lifetime. You will not get extra credit for following one path or another.

You will receive Gods thumbs up or thumbs down on how you used the gifts God gave you.

There is one truth that we all have to believe. One fact that we all have to accept. One piece of knowledge that we all have to understand, as taught by which ever of Gods Prophets we studied.

THERE IS ONE GOD FOR ALL OF US!!

THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PATHS TO GODS ACCEPTANCE!!

ALL PATHS WILL MERGE TOGETHER BEFORE GOD!!

BECAUSE THERE IS ONE GOD FOR ALL OF US!!

Love ya,
Randy

The Book Of Randy~~Jesus Had A Very Good Public Relations Team!!

  There are some beliefs that tender more questions than answers. A discussion of 'The Son Of God', for me anyway, is one belief that certainly fits that category.

Continuing on with my thoughts of yesterday; if God is for all peoples than why was 'His Son' withheld from most of Earths population?

Jesus was a teacher and a prophet. As far as the 'Son Of God'; the jury is still out on that title.

Mohamed was a prophet so why was he not a 'Son Of God'?

Buddha was a teacher so why not the 'Son Of God'?

If God is for all people are we not all His/Hers 'Sons and Daughters'?

I do not deny Jesus his place among the 'great prophets/teachers' of religious history. His impact certainly has been profound. But yet again, as with all prophets, we have only the words of the people who passed down the histories. As man is a tainted being so is his memories. Over time historical memories become distorted and expanded into myths and legends.

I often see a comparison  of 'the case for Jesus and him being 'The Son Of God' to a politician'. Two people, running for the same office and holding views that as similar, are one/two in the polls. The difference between candidate one and two is how well their 'publicity campaign team' functions.

Did Jesus have a better public relations team in place?

I believe in a simple truth. At least it is simple for me. There is One God and He/She is the God of all peoples. If the God of all peoples were to send 'His Son' to 'His people' there would be no favoritism played as to which of his people were chosen to witness 'the Sons' coming.

God would have offered 'His Son' to all peoples in all corners of the planet.

It is more likely that God has sent us many 'teachers/prophets' to prepare us for a life with Him. It is more likely that Jesus was one of these  'teacher/prophet' and that men, as their egos will sometimes drive them, named him 'The Son Of God'.

The great teachers, prophets and philosophers are all sent from God to show us a path to Heaven. It has been man, and his ego and self serving nature, that crowns 'Sons Of God'. It is man, through memories long stretched into myths and legends, who have written the 'great religious books' that fill our lives.

Does anyone really believe that God, had He written,  a book that was intended to 'guide our lives' would write something for the few while leaving others out in the cold. This 'trait of exclusionism' is a trait of man; not one of God.

Love ya,
Randy

The Book Of Randy~~What Was Wrong With The Rest Of The World?

  According to the Bible; God sent his only son to Earth to prepare the people. A wonderful story but produces so many questions in my mind.

Why would God pick such a small portion of the Earths population to show his love?

What was wrong with the rest of the people?

The peoples of the Middle East were no more worthy than those in China of the Americas. It makes no sense to me that God would enlighten only those few people.

What we have to look at here is the Bible itself. While it is a unique 'historical' text; it is also a 'self serving' document for those who it anoints. If I was to write a book about Gods arrival into my small North Carolina community; the fact that he appeared here would slant my writings toward North Carolinian being 'the chosen of God'. Ludicrous of course but a reasonable assumption.

I do not believe that God would ignore the rest of the peoples of Earth in favor of a few in a specific location.

Going on the assumption, and my belief, that there is only 'one God' for all of us; He would never leave most of the people in the dark giving enlightenment to so few.

So are we to believe, because the Bible tells us, that God did exactly that?

I think not. God would have, and I believe did, send prophets/teachers to all the worlds peoples. How they interpreted the arrival of these prophets/teachers would and did vary because of the different civilizations they were sent.

I believe that it takes a lot of ego to assume that God has chosen you and only you to enlighten. Of course the Human Race is never short on ego.

I do not believe that God chose Christians to spread his word to the rest of the world. God does not need man to spread his word or make converts. God is quite capable of doing that on His own.

What we have here is a historical document, the Bible, giving all the power to the writers of that document. Hence what I believe is self serving.

Do not get me wrong; I do not dispute the Bibles historical claims. What I dispute is its writers intentions. I also believe this to be true for all 'religious' books that are the basis for any religion. The Koran and Torah included.

It is innate in man to say that the group they live with is superior to other groups. It is this innate characteristic that is the basis for different religious groups to spew hate at each other.

There is only One God for all people.

Love ya,
Randy

The Book Of Randy~~Free Will!!

What does God do for us?

How much does He/She help us in our daily lives?

What should we expect from Him/Her?

Interesting questions and ones we should be thinking about every day. Only through understanding what God has given us can we formulate a path for our lives.

Lets take those questions collectively because they are really the same question. God gave us 'Life' and the 'Free Will' to control that life. That is it!!! Nothing more!! And yet that is all we need to be worthy of our creator.

We have been allowed, through the gift of Free Will, the ability to decide what our life's path will be. God has not set a path for us. Giving us free will tells me that 'I' am in charge of my life and 'I' am responsible for what path I take. What good I do and what evil I produce is up to me.

What would be the point of having free will if God told us what we were going to do with our lives. If God set our path then entry into heaven, into a life with God, would be a given and we would all be allowed entry. In reality we would already be in heaven if God was guiding our every move.

We all know that not all of us are going to be accepted into heaven. We all know that we are not at this time in heaven. And we all know, know matter what our religious leaders tell us, going to be forgiven our sins. Or at least we should know.

I believe one of the greatest frauds, perpetrated by present day churches, is the 'born again' theory'. If a person takes the life of another human; just arriving at a church and saying "I see the light of my sins. I believe in God. I ask forgiveness" gives us a 'get into heaven card' you are sorely wrong.

You set your path and you decided to commit your sins. God did not tell you to be a sinner. That decision is all yours and yours alone. The penance for your sins 'must' be paid. There is no 'free lunch' on your journey to a righteous life.

The 'Waring Religions' of the world, Christians, Jews and Muslims,  are not offering you a path to Gods good graces. God will never ask anyone to 'kill' in His/Her name. It is ridiculous to even postulate that thought. And yet, everyday. humans are slaughtered in the name of God.

All this energy being used up arguing whose God is the real God is such a waste of human potential. There is 'ONE' God and God is the same for all of us.

Those who claim to talk to God in our names are nothing more than enablers of the deceit and dishonesty that runs rampant through so many churches today.

Why do you need anyone to speak to God for you? You are a creation of God and in being so we have a direct link to our creator. It is such a simple process. Just talk and God listens. We do not need anyone to darn robes and sit in a multi million building to be a conduit to our creator. We are our own conduits.

What does God do for us? How much does He/She help us in our daily lives? What should we expect from He/Her?

God, through the virtue of our creation, has given us all that we need. We have been given the ability to think, decided right and wrong and set our own goals for our lives. What more do we need.

If you are sitting around waiting for God 'to provide' you will be waiting a very long time. God provided when we were given the abilities to 'provide for ourselves'. Nothing more is necessary.

Take the Free Will God has provided and set a Life's Path that enriches your life and the lives of those around you.

Use your gift or Free Will to do evil and Heaven is not even a possibility.

Love ya,
Randy

The Book Of Randy~~One Humans View Of Religion!!

I am sure that I will be upsetting a good number of people over the next few days as I reveal my theories and thoughts about God. Truthfully making you mad is not my intention but making you think is my goal. I believe that only through 'personal' thought and contemplation can one draw conclusions to lead them to a 'comfort zone' of religious belief.

I choose this particular time to write on this subject because one of the worlds major religions celebrated a major event in their belief structure. It is appropriate to approach this today as so many people have had thoughts toward their own beliefs. Those thoughts may have manifested themselves in joy or disdain of the event; according to what religious train of thought one follows.

As an unaffiliated, free thinking believer in God I have postulated my own theories as to the origin of man and the development of various religious paths. As I said previously; thought and contemplation are the path to understanding your own spirituality. One must look at every theory put forth to help form the 'spiritual nature' that is inherent within all of us.

There is a group that believes man was put upon this planet by a race of superior beings, gods if you will, who decided to run an experiment in species building. Apparently, if you believe this theory, they return to Earth, every so often, and review their 'science project'.

Of course there is no real evidence for this theory. Sure there are many unexplained structures on earth that are said to have been beyond the scope of human ability at the time they were completed. Some would say that this is proof of a 'superior being' intervening in human matters. I say that humans are capable of amazing feats and have proven that throughout the ages. Personally I am not eager to ascribe man's abilities and ingenuity to 'ancient astronauts'.

But for the sake of argument lets say this theory is 100% correct. Technically superior beings arrived on Earth and manipulated the gene pool of an inferior species. We know that this technology is possible as we are developing it ourselves.

These superior beings return to monitor our progress as any scientist would do. If our ancestors would have seen these beings coming to the conclusion that they were gods would be a natural assumption. From there the minds of man would develop a religious and spiritual basis for worship.

The key, for me anyway, is that this theory does not answer the questions that are utmost on my mind.

"What is the origin of God?"

"Who is God?"

The 'superior being theory' gives us a possibility but it does not answer my questions. These would not have been gods but rather beings created by God. So even in this theory only the 'origin of man' is postulated. Not the Origin of God.

Lets put this theory to bed. Man and all around him/her was created by God. It is to God we owe our existence.

Having said that; what we do with the life God has given us is a ball thrown into our court. How we live our lives is the byproduct of 'free will'. Which is tomorrows chapter in The Book Of Randy.

Love ya,
Randy

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

Feliz Navidad - Spain
Καλά Χριστούγεννα - Greece
メリークリスマス - Japan
Buon Natale - Italy
Joyeux Noël - France
Frohe Weihnachten - Germany
聖誕節快樂 - China
Sretan Božić - Croatia
Fete Nwèl - Haitian Creole
मेरी क्रिसमस - Hindi
Wesołych Świąt - Poland
สุขสันต์วันคริสต์มาส - Thailand
Mutlu Noeller - Turkey
Nadolig Llawen - Welsh
Gelukkkig kerstfeest - Dutch
No matter how you say Merry Christmas; this is a day to rest, reflect, enjoy your family no matter what form that takes and reconnect with your own soul. It is a day to show love, mercy, forgiveness, joy and trust in your fellow Earthlings.

It is my day to tell you that if I have offended you in any way please forgive me, If you have offended me in any way I forgive you. If I have loved you then I love you more today. In Second Life I have the opportunity to reach across the world and find trust in my fellow human beings.

I am not a Christian but I love this holiday. I love all religious holidays because through them we are presented the opportunity to learn about other people. Knowledge of each others customs and beliefs is our way forward.

FELLOW EARTHLINGS GRAB THIS OPPORTUNITY WITH BOTH HANDS AND HOLD TIGHT!!

Love ya,
Randy

PS....To My Wife, Christine the joy you bring me is beyond words. You enrich my life in every way possible.

Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner~~A Neanderthal For All Times!!

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I am not a supporter of President Obama's politics nor the direction he is attempting to take the country. At this point I need to put my politics aside and come to the defense of another member of the Obama family; First Lady Michelle Obama.

 Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R-WI) has decided to make a personal attack on the First Ladies body shape. He is quotes as saying; "She lectures us on eating right while she has a large posterior herself."

This grossly overweight Porky Pig of a man has the nerve to question ANY ONES body shape. This is not the 'pot calling the kettle black' it is the 'pot eating everything in the kettle and then consuming the kettle itself'.

It is true that Mrs Obama lectures us about our eating habits but we deserve that lecture ten fold. The First Lady is a good looking woman who happens to be tall and has the body structure to support that height. End of story!!

Well end of story for Mrs Obama; not for Porky!!

I have noticed an increased number of attacks on the wives and husbands of those that hold office and those that are seeking office. I believe that unless the spouse is involved in something illegal or is heavily involved in the campaign they should be off limits to personal attacks.

Even if they meet some kind of criticism litmus test the attacks should be in the political arena not a personal attack.

If you want to criticism the Obama Administrations policies do it with solid 'conservative values'. Do it by standing your ground on issues and not folding like congress did with the Payroll Tax Bill. You had the correct plan and you folded. Did you learn nothing from the budget negotiations of last summer. Now you face a two month negotiation that will lead to more chaos and indecision.

'Indecision' should be your middle names!!!

There is no value in Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner's statement and attack. There is no political gain in making those type of statements. There is no honor in putting forth that sort of rhetoric.

If the statement was made as a joke then I say you are no Steven Colbert or John Stewart. Leave the jokes to those that know how to make them.

Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner look at your own house and then shut your mouth. I think by keeping your mouth shut you will advance the conservative agenda.

Love ya,
Randy

It's True!!~~Women Become More Beautiful With Age!!

In the past 20 years or so women between 20 and 30 seemed to rule the world. They have been held up as the epitome of the beautiful woman. Personally I believe that women, being idolized by the fashion industry, are to skinny and to perfect. That's right! TOO PERFECT!!

Age and a little wear and tear add character to a woman. For every single, so called perfect women offered up by the fashion industry, there are thousands of beautiful women populating the planet.

That old saying; 'Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder' is true and appropriate for any age of human existence. That skinny model of 2011 was once a more plump pinup in Ancient Roman.

The Roman woman was not fat but well rounded and beautiful. I find women with curves intriguing and desirable.

I have blogged on this subject before when I saw a picture of a grossly skinny woman walking the runway at a fashion show. Personally I believe her to be an embarrassment to the fashion industry rather than an enhancement.

This is the picture that struck me as totally scary and poses a health risk to impressionable young women. There is nothing appealing about this woman's body. NOTHING!! I am the father of three girls and I would be horrified if one of my daughters came home looking this way.

These women I find appealing:

They all look REAL!! It seems to me that REAL is what we should be looking for in a woman. Sitting around waiting for a super model will get you one thing out of you life. LONELINESS!!

Unfortunately there are men and women sitting around waiting for a perfect female or male specimen and wasting so many years of their lives. Sad Indeed!!

The most beautiful women I encountered today was a group of Grandmas from Lake Helen, Florida. They posed nude for a calender to raise money for a local American Legion Post.

                                                Beautiful Indeed!!

You can read their story at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/08/lake-helen-grandmas-pin-up-calendar_n_1136430.html?ref=miami#s528538

The idea for the calender came from a 2003 movie titled 'Calender Girl' based on a true event in England. I watched it this morning prior to writing this blog. It is quite good and inspiring, Give it a look.

Love ya,
Randy

PS.....How that for a 'moral compass',,,LOL!

Me A Moral Compass~~Good God No!!!

Late last night I received an email from someone who has been reading this blog. I do not get many emails or comments at the blog, much to my chagrin, but this one both flattered and pissed me off at the same time. This particular person was not trying to be mean or derogatory toward me as I actually believe he believed what he was telling me.

The gist of the email was that 'as a blog writer I should be a moral compass for my readers'. Being considered any ones 'moral compass' is a great burden. To think that someone, anyone, would look to me for guidance is frightening beyond comprehension.

Kiddies I am as lost as the rest of you! I wander life's road staggering off the sides and falling on the gravel every day. If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line; I am never going to reach that point because my line looks like that of a perpetually drunken man.

My discussion, with the email writer, centered on Second Life and the roll and responsibility  of Second Life Bloggers. He believed that we, as bloggers, have a responsibility to lead a morality charge in Second Life and be educators to the masses.

He makes some sense but most of us do not blog for the masses. Sure we all like to have people read what we write. That is a given dictated by our egos. I can honestly tell you that I would continue to blog if 'no one' read a word I wrote because I write for myself. Maybe it is my way of looking for my course on my own personal moral compass.

There are many people, in Second Life, that are far better and much more appropriate moral compass. The Executive Committee of Relay For Life in Second Life, especially MamaP Beebbaum amd Dwen Dooley are far better choices. They all give of themselves tirelessly, all year long, to help other people.

Shannon Dubratt and Rocky Hillburton, over at Alafia Country, who work themselves to the bone for 'Toys for Tots' are perfect choices.

My good friend Sienna Thor, of the RFL Cure Chasers and Red River, who would give you the short off her back if it raised a single $L for RFL. As a matter of fact last year she covered her entire body with hair and eventually turned into a tiny bunny, for two months, because helping people is more important to her than her own personal comfort. I have never gone into an RFL event, with Sienna, where she has not emptied her purse while there. A much better choice indeed.

These are people to emulate and set your 'moral compass north'.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”~~Buddha

I do think I can help you set a 'moral compass' direction. Follow this simple rule and I can be of tremendous assistance to your life's choices.

"If we happen to be walking along the same road and moving in a southerly direction~~quickly reverse your direction and move toward the north~~because I can tell you now that I am going exactly where you d not want to travel." Randy(2011)

Love ya,
Randy

PS......I want to thank everyone who has stopped by and given some of their precious time to reading my ramblings. Over 10, 000 of you have done so in the past year. i am truly humbled by your kindness.

Hoarding~~A Lifestyle Or A Disease?

According to Owen Kelly, PH.D hoarding is a characteristic of 15% of the people that are diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD). Hoarding is a pathological or compulsive type of behavior characterized by:

• acquiring and failing to throw out a large number of items that would appear to have little or no value to others (e.g., papers, notes, flyers, newspapers, clothes)
• severe cluttering of the person's home so that it is no longer able to function as a viable living space
• significant distress or impairment of work or social life

I have always found interesting people who hoard objects for no apparent reason. At least that reason is not apparent to us but to the hoarder I am sure it makes perfect sense. I have had personal contact with hoarders and have listened, with interest, to stories relating to hoarding.

I am the polar opposite of a hoarder. If I see no value on any object it will find its way t the garbage. Probably my age has something to do with my approach to 'stuff'. As I have aged, and with my ever changing economic status, my outlook has changed from a 'plan ahead objective based attitude' to a more 'live in the moment attitude'. That is why I was surprised to learn that hoarding was prevalent in the older population.

The 'cat lady' we always hear about is an 'animal hoarder'. Who knew!

I have been in homes where the home owner collected(hoarded) bicycle parts and there were no working bicycles on the premises. This particular gentleman found and purchased bicycle parts. His reasoning was that when bicycles became the main means of transportation again, after our oil supplies were exhausted, he would make a fortune in helping with bicycle upkeep and repair. The man was in his 70's and our oil supply will certainly outlive him but he was convinced he was right.

I have also read that hoarders can be organized and unorganized but to the untrained eye there would be no difference. One actually has to watch the behavior of the hoarder, who will call themselves collectors, to tell them apart. For instance an organized hoarder will walk through his 'collections' and never step on them even if they are strewn at their feet. An unorganized hoarder will step haphazardly on what he has collected.

I personally have seen hoarders save just about anything under the guise of 'collecting'. Things like fast food wrappers, used plastic cups, news papers, building supplies both new and used and kitchen utensils.

When ever we build modular shelves or a children's toy, at Christmas, there always seems to be pieces, like screws or nuts, left over. I know a man that has several cabinets, in his garage, dedicated to the storage of those pieces. He even moved them to a new home a few years ago.

Some commonly hoarded things are:

• Written/Printed Information.
  Meaning: Papers, Magazines, Notes, Letters, Publicity, Ads, Bills, Books and so on.....
  Since the Internet, e- mails are also hoarded, either online or printed out.
  
  The remarkable thing about the keeping of written/printed material is that it actually is rarely ever read but is just stored. The safety of knowing it is there seems to be enough, you can go back to it at all times.
  
  
• Items That Are Commonly Bought in Larger Quantities.
  Meaning: Soap, Sugar, Salt and so on.
  These may be purchased in large quantities.
  
  
• Non- Expensive Practical Items.
  Meaning: Elastic Bands, Paper Clips, Plastic/Paper Bags, Used Envelopes, Used Items that Could be Re- Used and so on.....
  
  
• Items With No Apparent Value or Use.
  Meaning: Burned Out Light Bulbs, Cigarette Butts, Empty Cigarette Packs, Wrappers, Medicine Bottles, Empty Lighters, Candles which can't be lit anymore, Broken Electrical Appliances.....
  
  
• Future-Use Items.
  Meaning: Items which may be used 1 day, whether or not this use is realistic or not. The idea of having to buy something you have at 1 point thrown away seems absurd and thus everything is kept.

I personally think that some things are harmless to hoard and the reason for that hoarding may or may not be related to OCD. I know of one person who hoards food in the form of dehydrated items because he wants to be prepared for a food shortage. When one looks at the condition we find our world in this may be a very good idea.

I also know someone that has kept every newspaper they have read for the past 50 years and you can not safely walk around their house.

The thing to remember is that hoarding can many times be a real medical condition and before we try and take any action against a hoarder we need to have all the pertinent information.

Love ya,
Randy

Pixels Get Along So Well!!

People in Second Life, for the most part, get along very well. My four years in Second Life have yielded little of no conflict and if you read this blog you know that I thrive on conflict, lol.

Why can we get along so well in Second Life when many of us are at each others throats in our First Lives? It is an interesting question and answering it is not a simple task.

I am going to make an assumption here that I believe to be true.  People, in general, do not want conflict or drama in their lives and Second Life affords us an opportunity to eliminate many of the things that cause First Life drama and conflict. That is my opinion.

Unless you go out of your way to carry your prejudices and dislikes Inworld no one will ever view them because once we take on our pixelated forms all that stuff is hidden. Believe me some people do make a point of carrying their crap Inworld but I find that they do not become long term Second Life residents.

Other Second Life residents only see the parts of you that you wish to portray. Things like religion, race and sexual orientation become less important in the Inworld environment. People, who in First Life situations, avoid each other spend evenings socializing in Second Life.

The fantasy of Second Life allows you to become someone your First Life disallows. That same fantasy allows you to drop your baggage at the door and take part in activities you would otherwise avoid like a plague. For instance; a staunch conservative Christian can spend time with a lesbian couple and form a binding relationship. I have seen this particular situation first hand. These same people would never associate in their First Lives.

I was at a show, earlier this week, and on the dance floor were same sex couples, heterosexual couples, bikers, child avatars, animal avatars and redneck types all dancing, listening to the music and interacting with ease. It is a beautiful thing to see.

Of course there are Sims dedicated to religion, sexual orientation, BDSM, elves, Medieval times, vampire and just about any fantasy or life style you can imagine but I have found myself welcomed in all those Sims without any problems. If you approach people with an inquisitive 'I am interested in your point of view' attitude you will find that people are willing to educate you to their point of view. You will come away better informed and may even carry that information back to your First Life.

There will always be people who, through the manipulation of the Second Life fantasy, cause problems. I believe that most of these people are rooted out quickly and are short lived as an Inworld resident.

The point of my story is simple. Leave you baggage at the door to Second Life, move Inworld with an open mind, reveal only the parts of you that you are comfortable showing and do not let someone else's fantasy stop you form making a new friend.

That unicorn dancing next to you may become a life long friend given the chance.

“Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.”~~Buddha

Love ya,
Randy

I Love To Laugh And It's Good For You!!

I am sure that my neighbors hear me laughing out loud when I am watching something funny on television or on the internet. I also know that, because I live alone, they probably think it's weird. But laughing feels good. Any day I can start with a laugh is going to be a good day.

Some laughing factoids:(I like the word 'factoid',,I find it funny all by itself..reminds me of a hemorrhoid that knows some secret)

1. Laughing 100 times roughly equals 15 minutes on an exercise bike? Vigorous laughter increases the heart rate deepens the breathing rate, and uses muscles in the face, stomach, and diaphragm.

2. Aside from improving our moods, laughter can reduce stress, help fight infection, and reduce pain.

3. The levels of two stress hormones, cortisol and epinephrine which suppress the body's immune system, will actually drop after a dose of laughter.

4. Laughter causes positive changes in brain chemistry by releasing endorphins, and it brings more oxygen into the body with the deeper inhalations.

5. Laughter releases anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

6. Laughter encourages concentration on "right" attitudes rather than "wrong" attitudes.

7. Higher levels of an antibody (salivary immunoglobulin A) that fights infectious organisms entering the respiratory tract were found in the saliva of people who watched humorous videos or experienced good moods.

8. Researchers found after watching an hour-long video of slapstick comedy that the "natural killer cells," which seek out and destroy malignant cells, more actively attacked tumor cells in test tubes. And these effects lasted up to 12 hours.

9. The 1998 movie Patch Adams told the real-life story of a nonconformist doctor convinced that fun, play, and clowns are important in improving patients' quality of life in a grim hospital atmosphere.

10. Planning enjoyable activities for the future will reduce the stressor hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine.

I have a wide variety of what makes me laugh and there is always something funny in any situation if you look hard enough.

Some of the things that make em laugh are:

~~Anything Three Stooges
~~Most sitcoms especially if Betty White is in it.
~~Most stand up comedians if they are not vulgar. I believe that vulgarity takes away form the      comedy.
~~Mystery Science Theater 3000. Yes it can get a little silly but the 'wit' that goes into what the robots are saying is epic.
~~Steven Colbert. The man is politically irreverent to everyone but he presents his satire in a classy way. John Stewart is in the same calls as Steven Colbert.
~~PEOPLE!! Yeppers just plain old ordinary people. Spend a little time observing people in crowded situations. It is like an unscripted sitcom with all unknown characters. There is nothing funnier than the human species going about and screwing up their everyday lives.

Finally my two favorite jokes. Both I heard many years ago and they have remained at the top of my list most of my life.

1. A man is in the hospital suffering from back pain. Each day the nurses come in to give him a sponge bath and they always leave his room snickering. It seems this man has a tattoo on his penis that says 'Shorty' and the nurses think it is hilarious.

On the night before he is to be discharged  he asks a nurse named Lucy if she would go out on a date with him the next night. Lucy says she has to think about it and rushes off to see what her fellow nurses thought of going on this date.

They all agree that she will be safe because what can 'Shorty' do to her. Laughing she returns to his room and agrees to go out with him.

The morning after her date she comes to work in a horrible state. Her hair is all messed up and her makeup is askew. She is walking very slowly and has a visible limp.

The other nurses rush up to her and ask if she had been in a car accident or had fallen.

Nurse says. "I went out with Shorty last night and we got quite amorous."

The others nurses where perplexed and wondered what could have happened with Shorty.

Nurse Lucy told them that when Short grew the tattoo said, 'Shorty's Bar And Grill Chattanooga Tennessee."

Think about it Kiddies, lol.

2. Bob Hope was on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Mr. Hope told Johnny that, "Marilyn Monroe's right leg was like Christmas and her left leg was like New Years."

Johnny looked perplexed!

Mr. Hope said that he wanted to, "Drop in between the Holidays".

What do you laugh at? Find something humorous on the internet of television and have a good laugh before you start your day. I guarantee you will feel better all day long.

Love ya,
Randy

Twas The Night Before Christmas In Zombie Land!!

Twas the Night before Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a zombie mouse.
The Brains were hung by the frezzer with care,
In hopes that breakfast time soon would be there.

The zombies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of arm muscles danced in their heads.
And mamma in her blood soaked pajamas, and I in my gore,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a chewing,
I sprang from the bed to see what our neighbors were doing.
Away to the window I flew like a gush,
Tore open the shutters and threw up some pus.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen sinew.
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the bodies so blue.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature ambulance, and eight tinny dead reindeer.
With a little old driver, so deadly and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be Driveshaft Ribcage Nick.
.
More rapid than a virus his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now, Missing Mandible Melvin! now, Bone Toothpick Juanita! now, Club Foot and No Feet!
On, One Eyed William! On, The Stumbler! on, on Fanger and Jawbone!
To the top of the grave! to the top of the crypt wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"As dry skin that before the wild blood lust fly,
When they meet with a warm body, mount to the sky.
So up to the funeral home top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of arm bones, and Driveshaft Ribcage Nick too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The licking and gnawing of each dead hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Driveshaft Ribcage Nick came with a bound.
He was dressed all in gore, from his head to his missing foot,
And his clothes were all tattered with blood and one boot.
A bundle of leg bones he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a serial killer, just opening someones back.
His eyes-how they looked dead! his dimples were missing!
His cheeks were like pale paper, his nose full of blood and glistening!
His drooling little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as red as the dead mans snow.

The stump of an arm he held tight in his teeth,
And the blood squirted out encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a was missing his belly,
That shook when he wailed, like a body turned to jelly!
He was thin and gaunt, a right frightful old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his shattered eye and a twist of his blood soaked head ,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, because his tongue did not work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his crooked finger aside his whithered nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his ambulance, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a well aimed missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a gory-night!"

Love ya,

Randy

PS.....Clement Clarke Moore (1779 - 1863) wrote the poem Twas the night before Christmas also called “A Visit from St. Nicholas" in 1822. I apologize to him for my flight of fancy.

It's Saturday~~~In A World Gone Mad Lets Take Out The Trash!!

All week long I collect stories that I find interesting. Much of my interest concerns the sheer stupidity of the story or that of the person cited in it. I am sure many of you believe me to be a bitter human being looking for fault in those around me but in my defence I have opened up about my many faults here and do not feel bad one bit about enlightening you. I will make comments on these stories at the end. For now I will lay out each story with its source so you can read it and judge for yourself.

Headline: Student, 9 Years Old, Suspended For Sexual Harassment, Calling Teacher 'Cute'.

That's right a 9 year old boy  suspended for saying that the teacher was 'cute'.  "After a substitute teacher overheard 9-year-old Emanyea tell another student a teacher was 'cute,' school officials put him on two-day suspension for sexual harassment.'

This comes on the heels of a Boston7 year old being accused of sexual harassment for striking another boy in the groin.

Read the story at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/05/student-9-years-old-suspended-for-sexual-harassment_n_1129683.html?1323107604

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Headline: 'Pogromly,' Neo-Nazi Version Of Monopoly, Allegedly Sold By Terrorist Group

'The Holocaust is just fun and games to some hateful individuals.
A German terrorist group sold a Neo-Nazi version of Monopoly to fund its illicit activities, according to authorities.
The Local reports that "Pogromly" features a Swastika starting point, concentration camps instead of railways and "gasworks".

'The Telegraph reports that proceeds from the game were used to help finance the illegal doings of the National Socialist Underground. The group is accused of murdering at least nine men and a police officer between 2000 and 2007 and carrying out 14 bank robberies, according to the paper.,

Read the story at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/05/pogromly-nazi-monopoly_n_1129499.html

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Headline: Rick Santorum: Undocumented Immigrants Are All Law-Breakers        

GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum, a former senator from Pennsylvania, took a hard line on unauthorized immigration during a Wednesday campaign stop in Spencer, Iowa, saying undocumented immigrants are breaking the law with "everything" they do.

"You can't be here for 20 years and commit only one illegal act ... because everything you're doing while you're here is against the law," Santorum said.

Read it at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/08/rick-santorum-undocumented-immigrants_n_1136398.html

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Headline: Santorum in Iowa Talks Effects of Legalized Gay Marriage on School Children

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum said he is concerned about legalized gay marriage spilling over into lessons in the classroom, during a campaign stop in Cedar Falls, IA on Friday.

The former senator from Pennsylvania said when same sex marriages were legally accepted - Iowa legalized gay marriage in 2009 - gay relationships would also be taught about in schools in ways parents against homosexuality wouldn't want their children exposed to.

Read it at: http://cedarfalls.patch.com/articles/rick-santorum-speaks-to-students

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I have been looking for 'comon sense' since it went missing several years ago. The loss of this most precious commodity coincides with the rise in our misplaced need to be 'politically correct' in all aspects of our lives.

These stories, about the two children, ages 7 and 9, being accused and investigated for sexual harassment are beyond ridiculous.  Are we so desperate to please the 'politically correct cretins' who reside in a minority of our population and who see common sense as a threat to their warped sense of life. We really need to give ourselves a reality check. Sexual harassment is a serious offense but these days we wield it like the 'sword of righteousness' against anyone of any age.

We have a similar no common sense outlook on the use of our language. Words, while they can be hurtful when used against one another, are not of themselves guilty of a crime against humanity. Take the word 'niggardly'. The word has been accused of being 'racist' an accusation that is ridiculous because it has nothing to do with ones race. Niggardly means; 1. reluctant to give or spend; stingy; miserly or  2. meanly or ungenerously small or scanty: a niggardly tip to a waiter.

 

This word only becomes offensive if used by an uneducated individual against uneducated individuals. So blame our education system for failing.  Do not punish a person who actually understands and employs the English language correctly.

 

I will not even comment on the story about the Pogromly. Its stupidity is self evident and the group that invented it are sick animals.

 

Now to my friend Rick Santorum, LOL. Why do we actually take this bigot to be a serious presidential candidate? If he were saying that 'Blacks or Jews' were lifelong thieves the politically correct crowd would be hopping mad. The NAACP would be marching in the streets and every Rabbi would be denouncing him.

 

I can relate to this attitude. There was a time when 'all' Italian Americans were thought to be members of the Mafia and therefore criminals. I have always taken umbrage with that attitude.

 

Undocumented individuals, and he is talking about Mexicans here, are being told that their illegal entry into the United States makes every act they do here a criminal act. They work hard, raise families, pay taxes and become part of the everyday fabric of our lives. They are no different than my family who started arriving here around the time of the 'War of Northern Agression' looking for a better life.

 

As far as Santorum's constant assault on same sex couples goes; he continues to show that he is either unwilling or incapable of understanding that the American Dream is for everyone not just members of his evangelical, white, wealthy and bigoted supporters.

 

In both these cases Santorum demonstrates a desire to achieve the Presidency on the backs of those whose rights he tramples and denies. HMMMM!! Is that not the way Hitler came to power? I am not saying Ricky Boy is a Hitler in the making. I am just saying!!!

 

Ricky it is time to get out of the race and crawl back in your hole.

 

Love ya,

Randy

Mysteries In Rhyme ~~Were Jack and Jill Really Fetching Water?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up got Jack, and home did trot
As fast as he could caper
He went to bed and bound his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

We all learned this rhyme as children but to preserve our innocence the true meaning was withheld form us.

I started to question Jacks motives toward Jill as soon as I had a grasp of the Principal Of Gravity. Sir Issac Newton's research actually solved this mystery but the age he lived in was one of restraint toward spelling out the reprehensible behavior Jack had in mind on that fateful day.

The key question is; 'Why did jack and Jill go up that hill to fetch water? A review of the Principal Of Gravity tells us the water flows down hill and that they could have filled their pail at the bottom of the hill.

So what motivates this young couple to climb that hill? And what actions precipitate their ungainly return down that hill?

This of course is only conjecture on my part as the only witness to this day was Jack and Jill themselves.

After a thorough review of all available materials pertaining to this event I have concluded that the real reason for the climb up that secluded hill was one being 'carnal' in nature. My research shows that Jack and Jill were not the innocent children portrayed in later versions of the nursery rhyme. In reality they were in their late teens and were in 'heat' like most young people of that age.

So for me the reason for the walk up that hill is clear. They were looking for a place to explore each other sexually.

But why that fall down the hill?

Jack being a young man with wild desires and a need to explore his every sexual thought must have asked Jill to perform a sexual act she did not feel comfortable performing. In her anger at Jacks insistence that they try everything Jill struck Jack and he fell backwards, on to his head, and fell to the bottom of the hill.

Jill's momentum, from striking Jack, must have caused her to lose her balance and fall down the hill crashing into Jack at the bottom. Jack, being injured and dazed from the fall, got up and ran home where his mother attended his injuries and he was confined to bed to heal.

Jill, while sustaining no physical injuries, was scared for life by Jacks callous actions and never saw Jack again, Research shows that Jill married a person named Bob late in her life never had any children and in fact never consummated her marriage.

This is such a sad story and really should be told in its original form. I see a screen play in the making here.

Love ya,

Randy

PS.....For those of you who would like to read the actual origins of the Jack and Jill Nursery Rhyme go to http://www.rhymes.org.uk/jack_and_jill.htm. It is a very interesting story about King Louie XVI of France and his Queen Marie Antoinette.

Seventeen Days Until Christmas~~Have You Pulled All The Hair Off Your Head Yet?

There was a time when Christmas meant the world to me. Family and once a year events filled the month of December and I could not wait until it arrived and was extremely sad when it was over. The holiday season has lost that luster for me. Three things changed how I fell about Christmas. First, I am no longer a Christian so the religious aspects of Christmas do not resonate with me any longer. The secular aspects have become less important because of the loss of my family, due to divorce, and through that loss having to spend most of this time of year alone.

I do miss many things about the holiday season. Of course most of what I miss is family related. I suppose that is natural.

This year is a little different than my most recent holidays. I have someone to spend the holidays with although it is a long distance situation. I am starting to get back some of that old holiday spirit. For the first time in seven years I have put up a Christmas Tree. It is a Charlie Brown looking bush but it is decorated and I have placed a gift for my dog under it, lol.

The following is a list of my favorite Christmas Day activities and some of my favorite things that I grew up loving.

~~Mimosas(champagne and orange juice) while opening presents.
~~Christmas breakfast with everyone wearing their Christmas pajamas(corny I know).
~~Christmas Eve walk(I use to love doing this and seeing how all the houses were decorated).
~~Christmas Day dinner with all the family gathered around. Yes we did the adult table and the kids table.
~~Watching 'It's A Wonderful Life' and 'White Christmas' until those movies were permanently burned into my brain.
~~Singing Christmas Carrol's, very much off key, and loving every minute of it.
~~Listening to Karen Carpenter sing 'Merry Christmas Darling'. I had to spend many a Christmas on military duty. Somehow this song made me feel a little closer to home.
~~Finally that time, late Christmas Day when all the family has gone home and the kids are finally asleep, sitting in front of the fireplace snuggling up to the most important person in your life and just enjoying a short and intimate moment together.

There is nothing big or exciting on that list. Just things that make your life seem secure and meaningful.

A person can not ask for more out of their lives than having lived a meaningful life. Leading a meaningful life has little to do with accomplishments and all to do with family. So this Christmas think about your family and hold them close. Because losing them changes everything.

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890

Love ya,
Randy