Twas the Night before Christmas Poem
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a zombie mouse.
The Brains were hung by the frezzer with care,
In hopes that breakfast time soon would be there.
Not a creature was stirring, not even a zombie mouse.
The Brains were hung by the frezzer with care,
In hopes that breakfast time soon would be there.
The zombies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of arm muscles danced in their heads.
And mamma in her blood soaked pajamas, and I in my gore,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
While visions of arm muscles danced in their heads.
And mamma in her blood soaked pajamas, and I in my gore,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a chewing,
I sprang from the bed to see what our neighbors were doing.
Away to the window I flew like a gush,
Tore open the shutters and threw up some pus.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen sinew.
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the bodies so blue.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature ambulance, and eight tinny dead reindeer.
With a little old driver, so deadly and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be Driveshaft Ribcage Nick.
.
More rapid than a virus his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
I sprang from the bed to see what our neighbors were doing.
Away to the window I flew like a gush,
Tore open the shutters and threw up some pus.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen sinew.
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the bodies so blue.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature ambulance, and eight tinny dead reindeer.
With a little old driver, so deadly and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be Driveshaft Ribcage Nick.
.
More rapid than a virus his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now, Missing Mandible Melvin! now, Bone Toothpick Juanita! now, Club Foot and No Feet!
On, One Eyed William! On, The Stumbler! on, on Fanger and Jawbone!
To the top of the grave! to the top of the crypt wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"As dry skin that before the wild blood lust fly,
When they meet with a warm body, mount to the sky.
So up to the funeral home top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of arm bones, and Driveshaft Ribcage Nick too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The licking and gnawing of each dead hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Driveshaft Ribcage Nick came with a bound.
He was dressed all in gore, from his head to his missing foot,
And his clothes were all tattered with blood and one boot.
A bundle of leg bones he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a serial killer, just opening someones back.
His eyes-how they looked dead! his dimples were missing!
His cheeks were like pale paper, his nose full of blood and glistening!
His drooling little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as red as the dead mans snow.
The stump of an arm he held tight in his teeth,
And the blood squirted out encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a was missing his belly,
That shook when he wailed, like a body turned to jelly!
He was thin and gaunt, a right frightful old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his shattered eye and a twist of his blood soaked head ,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, because his tongue did not work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his crooked finger aside his whithered nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his ambulance, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a well aimed missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a gory-night!"
On, One Eyed William! On, The Stumbler! on, on Fanger and Jawbone!
To the top of the grave! to the top of the crypt wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"As dry skin that before the wild blood lust fly,
When they meet with a warm body, mount to the sky.
So up to the funeral home top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of arm bones, and Driveshaft Ribcage Nick too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The licking and gnawing of each dead hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Driveshaft Ribcage Nick came with a bound.
He was dressed all in gore, from his head to his missing foot,
And his clothes were all tattered with blood and one boot.
A bundle of leg bones he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a serial killer, just opening someones back.
His eyes-how they looked dead! his dimples were missing!
His cheeks were like pale paper, his nose full of blood and glistening!
His drooling little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as red as the dead mans snow.
The stump of an arm he held tight in his teeth,
And the blood squirted out encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a was missing his belly,
That shook when he wailed, like a body turned to jelly!
He was thin and gaunt, a right frightful old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his shattered eye and a twist of his blood soaked head ,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, because his tongue did not work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his crooked finger aside his whithered nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his ambulance, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a well aimed missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a gory-night!"
Love ya,
Randy
PS.....Clement Clarke Moore (1779 - 1863) wrote the poem Twas the night before Christmas also called “A Visit from St. Nicholas" in 1822. I apologize to him for my flight of fancy.
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