Conflict Is Not To Be Ignored!!

In my quest to escape the religion of my youth, Cathothism, I searched for many years for a place to bank my faith. I found that refuge in Buddhism. But because, like so many other 'western converts' I did not fully understand what I was getting into. Something was missing and it took several years of continued search to put a finger on it.

Lewis Richmomd, who is a Buddhist writer and teacher, wrote "One meme that mainstream society has absorbed about Buddhism is that it is all about peacefulness and calm. That is not untrue, but it is not the whole story. Buddhism is a wisdom path leading to being fully awake as a human being, and that human realm includes conflict of all kinds -- family conflict, interpersonal conflict, power struggles, trauma and abuse -- in Zorba the Greek's words, "the full catastrophe."

I found my answers in that paragraph. I was so engrossed in avoiding conflicts that I lost sight as to how valuable conflict was to my personal growth. To my personal peace.

This avoidance reflex that I developed invaded all aspects of my life causing what should have/could have been a hilly but easily passable path to one filled with mountains and steep valleys. I was actually making my journey harder than it needed to be. This was never more evident than in my personal relationships.

If I had stepped up and handled my conflicts before I allowed them to grow into tsunamis life may well have turned out differently. I can equate this to receiving a letter from the Internal Revenue Service that states you owe back taxes. The first letter is cordial and you ignore it. Each successive letter gets less cordial until there is a knock on your door.

I ignored my 'letters of conflict' from my life until my doors were kicked wide open and my life sent swirling into turmoil.

Once I realized that I was allowing this to happen to me my life began to change. On the upside I have learned a valuable lesson. On the downside it took me most of my life to learn it.

Now I face whatever conflict presents itself. I dissect it, look at ways to ameliorate the conflict and choose a path that best gets me to the other side of it. Of course that sounds simpler than it actually is because not all conflicts mold themselves into a single solution path. Every conflict is unique to its circumstance. Every conflict presents with different solutions.

The point here is that every time you face a conflicted situation and solve it you learn a little more about yourself and just as important about other people. You will teach yourself strategies to solve your conflicts and in turn make your life a tad easier.

Yes; face your conflicts. But do not go crashing into them like a bull in a china shop. If you do that you will not find a satisfactory solution but may even find yourself sent back to start your journey all over.

Easy does it. Time, meditation and rational thought will carry the day.

Randy