Secondly; I know, from first hand experience, that virtual relationships are and have to be more trusting, and if they are to work, more open and honest. Meeting someone in second life and establishing a connection with them is totally on a cerebral level. Especially in those first few precious days when, just like in Real Life, couples are feeling each other out.
As we all know; for the most part all avatars look very good. So going on looks alone is a crap shoot. But I have found that people who take the time to work on their avatar's appearance, both the physical aspect and clothing, are ones that I tend to gravitate to. Self image and self confidence is important to me as far as initial attraction is concerned.
But the real meat of any relation in Second Life is the meeting of the 'cerebral beings'. Or what we perceive is the inner working of the person who we are interacting . Believe me a beautiful avatar can not hide an 'ugly cerebral being'.
I have met a lot of people in Second Life and have seen many SL couples come and go for various reasons. I have also seen people, and especially men, leave Second Life because they are burned out on trying to meet someone. We all have our own reasons for initially coming to Second Life. There are thousands of reasons for being in SL but one of the main ones, and I fell into this category, is that something is missing in your Real Life. Love, Same sex companionship, running mates, drinking buddies, female or male companionship and general human interaction are just a few reason that would fall into this category.
Many of us have suffered from 'Online Dating Fatigue'(ODF). I recently read an article written by Julia Spira titled '5 Signs You're Online Dating Fatigue'.(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-spira/online-dating-fatigue_b_987592.html?ir=Women) I found it interesting in that at times I have suffered from it and that believe I have seen it occur in Second Life on a frequent basis.
Ms Spira establishes five symptoms that we should consider.While she has applied these symptoms to 'online dating services'; I believe they do apply to Second Life quite well.
1. You're tired of logging on and coming up empty-handed. ~~Think about how many venues you have been in and wanted to be asked to dance but were not or you asked and were turned down. It gets discouraging quite fast.
2. You're tired of trying to create interesting introduction emails.~~Introductions emails are very similar to 'opening lines' in an Second Life conversation. You want to say something significant but wind up tripping over your own tongue. And sometimes you say something so off the wall it starts a wonderful relationship. My current Second Life relationship started with me asking, "Why are you standing in the back of the room alone".
3. You're too picky.~~No one is perfect. I know as I am a walking example of imperfection but if you go out there with the idea that you will find the 'perfect mate' you will fail miserably and log out frustrated at the end of the night.
4. You're too difficult to reach.~~Ms Spira is talking about Real Life contacting here but in Second Life a person can be difficult to contact. The term 'capped IM's' makes this a fact of SL life. This is easily fixed by sending your IM's to your email.
5. You've gone on too many first dates.~~This can be very frustrating. Going out with someone with no follow up date or in some cases no follow up contact. This has happened to me and I am sure most people. I have always felt that at least I am getting that all important 'first date'. Beyond that, I figure, it's all up to the Gods, fate or karma.
Every one of these symptoms can be applied to real life. Ms Spira suggests that we take a step back, look at what our situation and goals are and after a break start again. Keeping a relationship fresh takes work. Finding one is no less work.
Love ya,
Randy
PS.....Blame Beth Hart singing 'Autumn Leaves' at 4am for putting me in the mood to write today's blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment