Sexiest Man Alive??

The Onion News Agency had named Kim Jong Un, the sexiest man alive. Now we all know that The Onion's choice is tongue in cheek as they make up news to tickle our funny bones.

Enter news agencies in mainland China and the funny story that The Onion has spun is now a real story. Chinese news is full of the stories about Asia's representative to the sexiest man contest.

Look at this guy. Can there be any doubt of his qualifications? Clothes straight out of Communisms version of GQ. A haircut that would make Moe of the Three Stooges jealous. Jowls of a well fed dictator. Notice how skinny the rest of the North Korean population looks compared to this sexy guy?

Look at Kim's gorgeous wife. Is she not the fashion plate of eastern society. I think that there are North Korean citizens dying, literally dying, to emulate her style.

I understand that Kim loves amusement parks but unfortunately, for the millions of American women drooling over the prospect of him visiting one of the USA's many parks, he will never visit as he does not meet the height requirements for many of the best rides. He would look cute in Disney's Tea Cups. Oh to dream!!

Only one question remains to be answered?

What the hell are those North Korean military officers hiding under those hats? HMMM? Maybe more sexy Moe haircuts.

Randy

Today The Fiction Writer Tells The Truth

I love writing fiction. Creating a story from an idea excites me. But life is not fiction and my life has turned again.

I had an interesting morning. First I received a letter form the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services denying my appeal for Medicaid health insurance that was to tie me over until my Medicare started next year. This was not totally unexpected so no surprise.

When I arrived home I was informed by my landlord that I was being evicted and had to leave by December 31st. A total surprise!!! I have been living here for 3 years. The reason for my eviction was that someone told him I had a criminal record and he did not want me around.

Well I do have a criminal record. It has haunted me for 2 decades and no matter what I do it will remain an albatross around my neck until my life is done. Since my conviction I have lost just about everything I have ever had including my marriage, my children, my home, my business, most of my friends and even my church. Before today I did not think I could fall an farther but as usual I was wrong.

In 1992 I opened a private clinic, with my ex wife, for the practice of Physical and Occupational Therapy. We were good therapists and our clinic was doing very well.

In January of 1993 I was referred a female patient with back pain from a physician that referred many patients each week. I treated her for 2 weeks, she was improving according to her reports. Then one day she stopped coming. Not an uncommon occurrence as many patients stop therapy once they feel better.

A couple of weeks later I received a phone call from the local police station, which was located across the street from our clinic. This patient had accused me of attacking her during treatment. I was arrested and was forced to defend myself in court. Mind you this woman claims this attack happened while my wife was working in the clinic less than 20 feet from where I was treating this woman.

In the end I was convicted and sent to prison for a short time. The fact that I now had a felony on my record caused the state board to suspend my licence. I was no longer a Physical Therapist. The work of 5 years of school disappeared in a matter of minutes.

Soon after the trial I was sued by this woman in civil court. Amazingly I won that law suite and at least did not suffer a financial loss beyond the thousands of dollars spent on attorney fees.

We still had the clinic, I worked as the office manager, but as you can imagine referrals dropped off for a period and our expenses rose considerably since I had to hire therapists to do the work I use to do.

In time we gave up the struggle and sold the clinic to the local hospital. I went home to act as a house husband and my wife went to work for the hospital.

Two years later we were divorced, I was living on my social security and what I made working for McDonald's; a job I lost after 3 years.

So today I fall a little farther but this time I can not see the bottom. What I will lose this time is more than a home. It is my security. There is only a slim chance that I will find a place I can afford before December 31st. Thank God I have a car for shelter just in case it is needed.

But I will be losing something so precious to me that I am not sure I will recover this time. I have the most wonderful Second Life partner a man could have. She is everything I could want in any life. I plan on making my last month in Second Life the best month she has ever experienced. With the loss of my home I will also lose my computer access for an undetermined period of time. I think y'all get the picture.

Earlier this week I wrote a blog about accepting one's fate. I have done that and believe there are reasons for every thing that happens to us. This is just one more challenge.

My Blog will end at the end of December. Hopefully I will be able to continue it at a later date.

Randy

I Want A New Republican Party!!

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.~~Dalai Lama

I want a new Republican Party!!! Even though I have distanced myself from them this past year I truly want to see a party that has stepped into the 21st century and understands what is at stake.

The first thing Republicans have to do is kick the crazies out of the party. I am not speaking of people that want spending cuts and fiscal restraint. I am speaking of people that shill for the 'religious right' and their archaic ideas.

The parties stance on LBGT Rights is ridiculous. This minor issue, and yes it is minor except to that small segment of our society the it effects, makes conservatives look Elizabethan in their demeanor. We are the 'party of Lincoln', who went to war to free the slaves from plantations only to become a 'party of old men' who, through their way of thinking, are trying to put the LGBT back on those same plantations.

Did slavery not teach us that impugning any ones civil rights is wrong? Are we blind to our own history?

The parties stance on abortion rights is also archaic. The belief that any person far removed from someones personal situation can legislate what their behavior might be is infantile. The idea that someone in a comfortable office in Washington, DC can legislate how a human being can use their own body is arcane madness.

And to think that any man can legislate the workings of a women's body without the experience of being a woman is beyond gall it self.

Finally, the parties stance, or lack of a significant stance, on immigration reform is unbelievable for a group of people that all stem from immigration. I descend from a long line of Italians who immigrated here in the 19th century. The reasons my family came here are no different than the reasons Hispanics come here now.

Yes, I agree, illegal immigration brings many problems like drugs and other illegal activities. But in time all these things are worked out as immigrants are woven into the fabric of America. Every nationality that has immigrated here has had problems. The nationality based gangs of the past are testament to that fact. But with time and integration these things work out.

I hear people say that Hispanics do not want to be integrated into the American way of life. I am sure there is resistance. Just like every other nationality we all want to hold onto our heritage. That was no more evident than with my ancestors who refused to speak English inside the house. Italian remained their first language for many years. It is the children of the second and third generations after immigration that shed the old ways and integrate into American society. I do see this happening even now with Hispanics.

These three issues, LGBT Rights~Abortion~Immigration, combined with a candidate weakened by his own party primaries and led along the same old boy path lost the election.

I know that conservative hate to hear the word 'progressive' but they better understand where the American people stand on issues that matter to them. No one can affect any change unless they can get elected. I have a fear that getting elected is problematic for conservatives given their present train of thought.

Maybe conservative should take the above Dalai Lama quote under advisement!!

Randy

Accepting One's Fate

To go from mortal to Buddha, you have to put an end to karma, nurture your awareness, and accept what life brings.~~Bodhidharma, founder of Chan Buddhism

 

For many years I have fought to move my fate in a particular direction with disastrous results. In my heart I knew this was a fruitless effort but my stubbornness and ego kept me from clearly seeing what I think was obvious to others.

 

I have never wanted to be a buddha but I have sought the serenity of a buddha over the past few years. Living a life fairly devoid of those things I had grown accustomed to like central heat and air condition or a fancy car. I have been happier which, as I look back, is a surprise to me.

I have finally learned to let things go, accept my fate and make the most out of what ever I happen to have. This revelation came when I finally realized that my attitude toward life was ass backwards.

I have always believed that life, if I lived a good one without much turmoil, owned me a serene karma and a comfortable existence.

As the comedian John Pinette always says, "Nay Nay". Life owes us nothing. Life does demand that we put into it what we want to get out of it. Even when we put all good things into our lives there is no guarantee that all good things will come your way.

Fate's Road For Life is paved with decision points that demand we take a stand as to what path we will follow. Our fate, destiny if you will, comes from within us. Not from God. God put us on the road but we walk it.

I have finally taken these lessons to heart and accepted my fate based on my decisions. Sometimes I am going to feel lousy and sometimes I will be walking on air but all the time I will accept my fate and move on. The good, the bad and the ugly are all on me.

Remember kiddies; we are all the drivers of our own vehicle. My advice!! Stay out of my lane as I am not all that good a driver.

Randy

The Passing Of A Good Man

My Uncle Junior passed away this past week. He was such a good man and one that suffered life's trials with dignity.

Uncle Junior, called junior because he was named Adolph which was shortened from Gandolfo my grandfathers name, and my Aunt Tessie, a 5'4" ball of fire, were always at the top of my list for uncles and aunts. Junior was one of 11 children, which included my mother, who grew up in Brooklyn and made the most out of the life they were given.

Junior and Tessie had 3 children; Little John, Marie and Jerome. It seems strange to call my cousin Little John but he never had the chance to be anything else. He passed away at, I believe, 12 years old of complications relating to cancer. My fondest memories of John was him sitting behind a massive set of drums and beating away happy as anyone could possibly be. His loss was devastating to me but to Uncle Junior and Aunt Tessie it was indescribable. But through it all I remember them being like rocks.

Their second child, Marie a sweetheart, was born special needs. Throughout her life, and to this day, they were there for her giving her the best life they could at a time when special needs children were closeted and not main streamed. In our family Marie was just Marie and we all loved her no matter what. Believe me in a family as big as ours Marie never saw the closet, lol. She was at every family event.

Jerome was born last and he always showed love and affection for Marie even though it probably took some away from him. He has grown up very well.

Most of my family still lives in the New York/New Jersey area and I do not get to see them very often. Like most Italian American families our grand parents were the focal point of all family activity. With their passing we drifted apart and no one drifted away more than I.

At the time I decided to leave New Jersey my Uncle Junior was one of the few who understood my need to go. He always encouraged me. The last time I saw him, at my mothers funeral some years ago, he was still encouraging me and even told my children that my moving away was a good idea.

He was a man who cared about his family and about all of us.

My Uncles John, Michael and Junior always had this glint in their eyes. In the case of John and Michael it probably meant that mischief was afoot. But with Uncle Junior there was more and I always knew that if I was in trouble I could go to him for advice and help. He was that kind of man.

God Bless you Uncle Junior. I know there is a place waiting for you in heaven.

Randy

Gobble, Gobble!

As the President is about to bestow the traditional amnesty on the White House Turkey strange clattering and chattering is being heard within the turkey community. Beaks are flapping and withered wings are exercised as turkeys all over the United States plan a mass breakout in hopes of avoiding being violated by stuffing forced into places that any proud turkey will tell you is an exit not an entrance.

 

It has been reported that the newly formed Union Of Turkey Territories(UOTT) is offering asylum to any turkey that can reach its shores. Humans are not purvey to the location of UOTT and a frantic search to block an expected mass exodus of turkeys just prior to the Thanksgiving Holiday has been launched by both the military and intelligence communities of the USA.

The obvious suspected homeland of UOTT is in the vicinity of the country Turkey located at the union of Europe and Asia.

A large American task force, backed up by units of the Canadian Navy because of concerns about the effect this exodus would have on Canadian Thanksgiving next year, is poised in the waters off Turkey awaiting movement in this situation. Seal Teams are on standby to secure key positions in the UOTT to wrestle control of government institutions that are orchestrating this uprising.

Turkeys have been seen attacking humans while attempting to escape being basted but sweet creamy butter.

Turkey producers have informed the public that striking revolting turkeys with jellied cranberry sauce will stun them just long enough to allow either escape from their wrath or allow them to be herded into the deep fryers. Humans are warned that while jellied cranberry sauce has an effect on the turkeys it also can render a human dazed and confused just as it has for generations. Never! And I repeat NEVER use cranberry compote to attack a rogue turkey. It just pisses them off and makes them crazier.

Escaping turkeys should be weighed down with mashed potatoes to allow easier capture. A good greasy and lumpy gravy will cause a loss of traction and also assist in capture.

Finally fence them in with a sweet potato wall. Sweet potatoes have been found to be impenetrable by turkeys. Then await the authorities so they can be stamped USDA Approved and enjoy after employing your favorite cooking method.

This has been a joint public service announcement by the Food and Drug Administration and The Center for Disease Control. The CDC wants all citizens to read the governments plans for coping with the Zombie Apocalypse. Just substitute Turkey for the word Zombie where ever it is found.

Randy

Christmas Corporate Greed Rears Its Ugly Head

I admit it!

I am old!

I remember when the holidays, Thanksgiving through New Years Day were a time for family and gatherings of friends. A time when you could look forward to a Thanksgiving day with your family around you, good food and maybe a football game or board games around the kitchen table. I never remember any business being open beyond noon and that my parents were there every Thanksgiving making it a wonderful day.

Now we live in a world where the almighty dollar is more important than a family dinner. Where parents are forced to give up valuable time with their children so their companies can line its pockets with just a few more dollars.

My rant today started with some news from my neighbor who works as a manager at the local McDonald's. Each year, until this one, McDonald's closed as 11am so the employees could head home for a family day. This year they will close the restaurant at 11am then reopen it at 4pm for dinner. So the employees have been given 5 hours with their families for Thanksgiving. The holiday is now compressed into 5 hours and I am sure in the not so distant future they will not close at all for Thanksgiving.

Corporate Greed at work!

My local McDonald's is only the tip if the iceberg. Wal-Mart does not close at all. No Thanksgiving in Wal-Mart Land.

This all leads us to Black Friday. The official start of the Christmas shopping season. Of course most retailers have had Christmas items out since October and before.

Black Friday! A day invented in Hell, by the devil himself, to turn reasonable people into greedy children who do bizarre and idiotic things to get a freaking Furby for a child at Christmas.

It was not bad enough that Black Friday started at 6am but now stores have invented what I call Gray Thursday Night. Gray Thursday Night requires that employees have to leave there families and go back to work so stores can open at 8pm extending the Black Friday madness 8 or 10 hours. The purpose is to feed that Christmas Corporate Greed. Anything for a dollar and be dammed what is really important; the family traditions that come with Thanksgiving.

I realize I am old fashioned and am upset about the destruction of the lifestyle that fills my memories. Traditions I would like to pass on to my children and grand children.

Where is all this leading us? In time holidays like Thanksgiving will lose their meaning and become just another day off work. Well maybe a day off work unless you work for McDonald's, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, Sears, Toys R Us or any of the other retailers that are opening on Gray Thursday.

Many of these retailers say they are opening in response to customer suggestions. Seems sad that any person would want to sacrifice another persons holiday so they can possess a Furby a few hours earlier.

I am asking, no begging, customers to stay home with their families Thanksgiving night and help put a stop to this corporate madness. Here is your chance to do something about the corporate greed you complained so much about during the last election.

Your choice is simple; help stop corporate greed that you claim to abhor or go out and support it. If you choose to support it keep your mouths shut when a discussion about corporate greed starts up. You have no ground to stand on as your support is a sign that corporate greed is OK with you.

Randy