Sexiest Man Alive??

The Onion News Agency had named Kim Jong Un, the sexiest man alive. Now we all know that The Onion's choice is tongue in cheek as they make up news to tickle our funny bones.

Enter news agencies in mainland China and the funny story that The Onion has spun is now a real story. Chinese news is full of the stories about Asia's representative to the sexiest man contest.

Look at this guy. Can there be any doubt of his qualifications? Clothes straight out of Communisms version of GQ. A haircut that would make Moe of the Three Stooges jealous. Jowls of a well fed dictator. Notice how skinny the rest of the North Korean population looks compared to this sexy guy?

Look at Kim's gorgeous wife. Is she not the fashion plate of eastern society. I think that there are North Korean citizens dying, literally dying, to emulate her style.

I understand that Kim loves amusement parks but unfortunately, for the millions of American women drooling over the prospect of him visiting one of the USA's many parks, he will never visit as he does not meet the height requirements for many of the best rides. He would look cute in Disney's Tea Cups. Oh to dream!!

Only one question remains to be answered?

What the hell are those North Korean military officers hiding under those hats? HMMM? Maybe more sexy Moe haircuts.

Randy

Today The Fiction Writer Tells The Truth

I love writing fiction. Creating a story from an idea excites me. But life is not fiction and my life has turned again.

I had an interesting morning. First I received a letter form the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services denying my appeal for Medicaid health insurance that was to tie me over until my Medicare started next year. This was not totally unexpected so no surprise.

When I arrived home I was informed by my landlord that I was being evicted and had to leave by December 31st. A total surprise!!! I have been living here for 3 years. The reason for my eviction was that someone told him I had a criminal record and he did not want me around.

Well I do have a criminal record. It has haunted me for 2 decades and no matter what I do it will remain an albatross around my neck until my life is done. Since my conviction I have lost just about everything I have ever had including my marriage, my children, my home, my business, most of my friends and even my church. Before today I did not think I could fall an farther but as usual I was wrong.

In 1992 I opened a private clinic, with my ex wife, for the practice of Physical and Occupational Therapy. We were good therapists and our clinic was doing very well.

In January of 1993 I was referred a female patient with back pain from a physician that referred many patients each week. I treated her for 2 weeks, she was improving according to her reports. Then one day she stopped coming. Not an uncommon occurrence as many patients stop therapy once they feel better.

A couple of weeks later I received a phone call from the local police station, which was located across the street from our clinic. This patient had accused me of attacking her during treatment. I was arrested and was forced to defend myself in court. Mind you this woman claims this attack happened while my wife was working in the clinic less than 20 feet from where I was treating this woman.

In the end I was convicted and sent to prison for a short time. The fact that I now had a felony on my record caused the state board to suspend my licence. I was no longer a Physical Therapist. The work of 5 years of school disappeared in a matter of minutes.

Soon after the trial I was sued by this woman in civil court. Amazingly I won that law suite and at least did not suffer a financial loss beyond the thousands of dollars spent on attorney fees.

We still had the clinic, I worked as the office manager, but as you can imagine referrals dropped off for a period and our expenses rose considerably since I had to hire therapists to do the work I use to do.

In time we gave up the struggle and sold the clinic to the local hospital. I went home to act as a house husband and my wife went to work for the hospital.

Two years later we were divorced, I was living on my social security and what I made working for McDonald's; a job I lost after 3 years.

So today I fall a little farther but this time I can not see the bottom. What I will lose this time is more than a home. It is my security. There is only a slim chance that I will find a place I can afford before December 31st. Thank God I have a car for shelter just in case it is needed.

But I will be losing something so precious to me that I am not sure I will recover this time. I have the most wonderful Second Life partner a man could have. She is everything I could want in any life. I plan on making my last month in Second Life the best month she has ever experienced. With the loss of my home I will also lose my computer access for an undetermined period of time. I think y'all get the picture.

Earlier this week I wrote a blog about accepting one's fate. I have done that and believe there are reasons for every thing that happens to us. This is just one more challenge.

My Blog will end at the end of December. Hopefully I will be able to continue it at a later date.

Randy

I Want A New Republican Party!!

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.~~Dalai Lama

I want a new Republican Party!!! Even though I have distanced myself from them this past year I truly want to see a party that has stepped into the 21st century and understands what is at stake.

The first thing Republicans have to do is kick the crazies out of the party. I am not speaking of people that want spending cuts and fiscal restraint. I am speaking of people that shill for the 'religious right' and their archaic ideas.

The parties stance on LBGT Rights is ridiculous. This minor issue, and yes it is minor except to that small segment of our society the it effects, makes conservatives look Elizabethan in their demeanor. We are the 'party of Lincoln', who went to war to free the slaves from plantations only to become a 'party of old men' who, through their way of thinking, are trying to put the LGBT back on those same plantations.

Did slavery not teach us that impugning any ones civil rights is wrong? Are we blind to our own history?

The parties stance on abortion rights is also archaic. The belief that any person far removed from someones personal situation can legislate what their behavior might be is infantile. The idea that someone in a comfortable office in Washington, DC can legislate how a human being can use their own body is arcane madness.

And to think that any man can legislate the workings of a women's body without the experience of being a woman is beyond gall it self.

Finally, the parties stance, or lack of a significant stance, on immigration reform is unbelievable for a group of people that all stem from immigration. I descend from a long line of Italians who immigrated here in the 19th century. The reasons my family came here are no different than the reasons Hispanics come here now.

Yes, I agree, illegal immigration brings many problems like drugs and other illegal activities. But in time all these things are worked out as immigrants are woven into the fabric of America. Every nationality that has immigrated here has had problems. The nationality based gangs of the past are testament to that fact. But with time and integration these things work out.

I hear people say that Hispanics do not want to be integrated into the American way of life. I am sure there is resistance. Just like every other nationality we all want to hold onto our heritage. That was no more evident than with my ancestors who refused to speak English inside the house. Italian remained their first language for many years. It is the children of the second and third generations after immigration that shed the old ways and integrate into American society. I do see this happening even now with Hispanics.

These three issues, LGBT Rights~Abortion~Immigration, combined with a candidate weakened by his own party primaries and led along the same old boy path lost the election.

I know that conservative hate to hear the word 'progressive' but they better understand where the American people stand on issues that matter to them. No one can affect any change unless they can get elected. I have a fear that getting elected is problematic for conservatives given their present train of thought.

Maybe conservative should take the above Dalai Lama quote under advisement!!

Randy

Accepting One's Fate

To go from mortal to Buddha, you have to put an end to karma, nurture your awareness, and accept what life brings.~~Bodhidharma, founder of Chan Buddhism

 

For many years I have fought to move my fate in a particular direction with disastrous results. In my heart I knew this was a fruitless effort but my stubbornness and ego kept me from clearly seeing what I think was obvious to others.

 

I have never wanted to be a buddha but I have sought the serenity of a buddha over the past few years. Living a life fairly devoid of those things I had grown accustomed to like central heat and air condition or a fancy car. I have been happier which, as I look back, is a surprise to me.

I have finally learned to let things go, accept my fate and make the most out of what ever I happen to have. This revelation came when I finally realized that my attitude toward life was ass backwards.

I have always believed that life, if I lived a good one without much turmoil, owned me a serene karma and a comfortable existence.

As the comedian John Pinette always says, "Nay Nay". Life owes us nothing. Life does demand that we put into it what we want to get out of it. Even when we put all good things into our lives there is no guarantee that all good things will come your way.

Fate's Road For Life is paved with decision points that demand we take a stand as to what path we will follow. Our fate, destiny if you will, comes from within us. Not from God. God put us on the road but we walk it.

I have finally taken these lessons to heart and accepted my fate based on my decisions. Sometimes I am going to feel lousy and sometimes I will be walking on air but all the time I will accept my fate and move on. The good, the bad and the ugly are all on me.

Remember kiddies; we are all the drivers of our own vehicle. My advice!! Stay out of my lane as I am not all that good a driver.

Randy

The Passing Of A Good Man

My Uncle Junior passed away this past week. He was such a good man and one that suffered life's trials with dignity.

Uncle Junior, called junior because he was named Adolph which was shortened from Gandolfo my grandfathers name, and my Aunt Tessie, a 5'4" ball of fire, were always at the top of my list for uncles and aunts. Junior was one of 11 children, which included my mother, who grew up in Brooklyn and made the most out of the life they were given.

Junior and Tessie had 3 children; Little John, Marie and Jerome. It seems strange to call my cousin Little John but he never had the chance to be anything else. He passed away at, I believe, 12 years old of complications relating to cancer. My fondest memories of John was him sitting behind a massive set of drums and beating away happy as anyone could possibly be. His loss was devastating to me but to Uncle Junior and Aunt Tessie it was indescribable. But through it all I remember them being like rocks.

Their second child, Marie a sweetheart, was born special needs. Throughout her life, and to this day, they were there for her giving her the best life they could at a time when special needs children were closeted and not main streamed. In our family Marie was just Marie and we all loved her no matter what. Believe me in a family as big as ours Marie never saw the closet, lol. She was at every family event.

Jerome was born last and he always showed love and affection for Marie even though it probably took some away from him. He has grown up very well.

Most of my family still lives in the New York/New Jersey area and I do not get to see them very often. Like most Italian American families our grand parents were the focal point of all family activity. With their passing we drifted apart and no one drifted away more than I.

At the time I decided to leave New Jersey my Uncle Junior was one of the few who understood my need to go. He always encouraged me. The last time I saw him, at my mothers funeral some years ago, he was still encouraging me and even told my children that my moving away was a good idea.

He was a man who cared about his family and about all of us.

My Uncles John, Michael and Junior always had this glint in their eyes. In the case of John and Michael it probably meant that mischief was afoot. But with Uncle Junior there was more and I always knew that if I was in trouble I could go to him for advice and help. He was that kind of man.

God Bless you Uncle Junior. I know there is a place waiting for you in heaven.

Randy

Gobble, Gobble!

As the President is about to bestow the traditional amnesty on the White House Turkey strange clattering and chattering is being heard within the turkey community. Beaks are flapping and withered wings are exercised as turkeys all over the United States plan a mass breakout in hopes of avoiding being violated by stuffing forced into places that any proud turkey will tell you is an exit not an entrance.

 

It has been reported that the newly formed Union Of Turkey Territories(UOTT) is offering asylum to any turkey that can reach its shores. Humans are not purvey to the location of UOTT and a frantic search to block an expected mass exodus of turkeys just prior to the Thanksgiving Holiday has been launched by both the military and intelligence communities of the USA.

The obvious suspected homeland of UOTT is in the vicinity of the country Turkey located at the union of Europe and Asia.

A large American task force, backed up by units of the Canadian Navy because of concerns about the effect this exodus would have on Canadian Thanksgiving next year, is poised in the waters off Turkey awaiting movement in this situation. Seal Teams are on standby to secure key positions in the UOTT to wrestle control of government institutions that are orchestrating this uprising.

Turkeys have been seen attacking humans while attempting to escape being basted but sweet creamy butter.

Turkey producers have informed the public that striking revolting turkeys with jellied cranberry sauce will stun them just long enough to allow either escape from their wrath or allow them to be herded into the deep fryers. Humans are warned that while jellied cranberry sauce has an effect on the turkeys it also can render a human dazed and confused just as it has for generations. Never! And I repeat NEVER use cranberry compote to attack a rogue turkey. It just pisses them off and makes them crazier.

Escaping turkeys should be weighed down with mashed potatoes to allow easier capture. A good greasy and lumpy gravy will cause a loss of traction and also assist in capture.

Finally fence them in with a sweet potato wall. Sweet potatoes have been found to be impenetrable by turkeys. Then await the authorities so they can be stamped USDA Approved and enjoy after employing your favorite cooking method.

This has been a joint public service announcement by the Food and Drug Administration and The Center for Disease Control. The CDC wants all citizens to read the governments plans for coping with the Zombie Apocalypse. Just substitute Turkey for the word Zombie where ever it is found.

Randy

Christmas Corporate Greed Rears Its Ugly Head

I admit it!

I am old!

I remember when the holidays, Thanksgiving through New Years Day were a time for family and gatherings of friends. A time when you could look forward to a Thanksgiving day with your family around you, good food and maybe a football game or board games around the kitchen table. I never remember any business being open beyond noon and that my parents were there every Thanksgiving making it a wonderful day.

Now we live in a world where the almighty dollar is more important than a family dinner. Where parents are forced to give up valuable time with their children so their companies can line its pockets with just a few more dollars.

My rant today started with some news from my neighbor who works as a manager at the local McDonald's. Each year, until this one, McDonald's closed as 11am so the employees could head home for a family day. This year they will close the restaurant at 11am then reopen it at 4pm for dinner. So the employees have been given 5 hours with their families for Thanksgiving. The holiday is now compressed into 5 hours and I am sure in the not so distant future they will not close at all for Thanksgiving.

Corporate Greed at work!

My local McDonald's is only the tip if the iceberg. Wal-Mart does not close at all. No Thanksgiving in Wal-Mart Land.

This all leads us to Black Friday. The official start of the Christmas shopping season. Of course most retailers have had Christmas items out since October and before.

Black Friday! A day invented in Hell, by the devil himself, to turn reasonable people into greedy children who do bizarre and idiotic things to get a freaking Furby for a child at Christmas.

It was not bad enough that Black Friday started at 6am but now stores have invented what I call Gray Thursday Night. Gray Thursday Night requires that employees have to leave there families and go back to work so stores can open at 8pm extending the Black Friday madness 8 or 10 hours. The purpose is to feed that Christmas Corporate Greed. Anything for a dollar and be dammed what is really important; the family traditions that come with Thanksgiving.

I realize I am old fashioned and am upset about the destruction of the lifestyle that fills my memories. Traditions I would like to pass on to my children and grand children.

Where is all this leading us? In time holidays like Thanksgiving will lose their meaning and become just another day off work. Well maybe a day off work unless you work for McDonald's, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, Sears, Toys R Us or any of the other retailers that are opening on Gray Thursday.

Many of these retailers say they are opening in response to customer suggestions. Seems sad that any person would want to sacrifice another persons holiday so they can possess a Furby a few hours earlier.

I am asking, no begging, customers to stay home with their families Thanksgiving night and help put a stop to this corporate madness. Here is your chance to do something about the corporate greed you complained so much about during the last election.

Your choice is simple; help stop corporate greed that you claim to abhor or go out and support it. If you choose to support it keep your mouths shut when a discussion about corporate greed starts up. You have no ground to stand on as your support is a sign that corporate greed is OK with you.

Randy

Rest In Peace Hostess~~The Maddening Loss Of Another American Icon

I know it is just another troubled American company closing its doors. Another victim of the economy closing its doors and with it a piece of Americana is lost. Joining Oldsmobile, Pontiac and all the other recognizable American brands that have slipped away from us to become memories we tell our grand kids about until we all pass and an accidental google search lets future Americans say, "WOW that must have been a cool thing to eat!".

Those of you reading this are probably saying, 'Jeez Randy get a grip! It's a freaking snack cake!'. That is true; Hostess makes snack cakes. Oldsmobile, Pontiac and American Motors made cars. Braniff, Eastern, PanAm, Frontier and Laker Airlines graced the skies. Atari introduced us to vidio games. Crazy Eddie taught us that yelling during commercials sold electronics. Schwinn put most kids on two wheels and gave them the freedom to travel their environs. Converse slipped away to foreign shores. Bethlehem and Northwestern Steel are gone.

Montgomery Ward, Polaroid, Spiegel, Bennigans, Circuit City, Olin Mills, The Sharper Image and Borders Books have all passed into history.

Many of the brands we grew up with are now gone. To me Hostess is not just a snack cake; it is a fond memory of my youth. Growing up on Marcy Avenue in  Brooklyn, NY we had a Hostess bakery around the corner from us. The odors of baking filled the air. This bakery had a store attached to it and once or twice a week our parents allowed us to go there and pick out what ever snack cake we wanted.

The choice was hard for an 8 year old. For me it always came down to whether I wanted a Twinkie or a Devil Dog.

Fifty years later I still struggle over my choice. So Hostess is not just a snack cake. It is a childhood memory that I and many others are losing.

I have not eaten many of these since I got sick because I have had a drastic diet change but today I went out and bought an assorted supply of Hostess products so I can pass my memory, even in a very small way, to the kids in my neighborhood who stop by everyday to say hello.

Randy

It's Me! It's Me! Damn It It's Me!

Yesterday People magazine came out with its 'Sexiest Man Alive' addition and to every ones surprise, and I do mean everyone damn it, I was not chosen. This really pisses me off as it is the 101st time in a row that I have been snubbed for this reward.

To prove that I am worthy of this reward I present a side by side comparison of Channing Tatum and myself.

1. He is 32 years old and I am 101 years old. While he has me beat in age I certainly have him beat in experience.

2. He oversees the Rainforest Fund and I can not even go into a forest without wondering which trees would make me a better house. HMMM!! See I am more practical. Shelter first!

3. He dates young beautiful women. Well I date an amazingly loving and beautiful woman who has substance not just big boobs and a peanut brain. In your face Channing!!! By the way my partner has the most amazing boobs, smiles.

4. He stars in television and movies. I watch them in the comfort of my own home, mostly commercial free, without the benefit of a director to plan out my every move.

5. He has won some 15 awards for his acting work. I have a participation trophy from Carteret, NJ Little League for my less than stellar work on The Peterson Poultry team.

6. He has six pack abs. I have keg abs that assist me in killing all you can eat pancake breakfasts.

HMMM! On second thought I think Channing probably deserves this honor. I will have to go back into training and prepare for next years contest.

Lets hope I am not disappointed a 102nd time!!!

Randy

PETA Strikes Again

"One man's road kill is another man's icon"

 

 

Traditions are fading all over the United States. Some because people have forgotten then, some because those who spent their lives upholding them have passed on, some out of apathy toward the imporatnce of people upholding their traditions and some because there is a segment of our society that believe that their beliefs supersede those of anyone else and use the courts to back up their petty and stupid ideas of right and wrong.

 

PETA has won a low suite to stop the New Years Eve tradition at Logans Corner, North Carolina. The Opossum Drop!!!

 

Yeppers kiddies New York City has its Big Apple Drop but here in North Carolina we drop a opossum at midnight on New Years Eve. Here is how it works or at least use to work. An opossum is captured and displayed for about two weeks at Logans Store. Then on New Years Eve it is placed in a holiday decorated cage and dropped just like the Big Apple. The opossum is not injured in any way and is released after the event.

 

Enter PETA with a law suite claiming animal cruelty and another tradition dies.

The judge states that. "Citizens are prohibited from capturing and using wild animals for pets or amusement," Judge Fred Morrison wrote in his ruling. "Hunters must afford wild animals the same right Patrick Henry yearned for: 'Give me liberty, or give me death!"

Apparently the hunting licence issued by the NC Wildlife Resources Commission allows citizens to hunt, kill and eat the opossum but not to catch and release it. It seems strange that PETA would rather have the animal killed than released.

Of course I have a solution, lol. I say we hunt and kill the opossum, cook it and serve it on a holiday platter that is dropped at midnight on New Years Eve. Everyone should be happy. PETA gets a no capture and release of the opossum. Logans Corner gets its New Years Opossum Drop. And finally Judge Fred Morrison gets to see what a great big asshole he has made of himself.

There is a great recipe for Stuffed Roast Opossum at Food.com. My mouth is watering already and I am organizing a trip to Logans Corner. I bet Patrick Henry Loved a good opossum dinner.


What is the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?...The Northern fairy tale starts out "Once upon a time..." and the Southern fairy tale starts out with  "You ain't gonna believe this crap..!"

Randy

Republicans It Is Time To Come Out Of The Closet

I have been, what I consider, a social conservative most of my life; embracing conservative fiscal policy while supporting a liberal social agenda. Voting has been difficult, especially over the last 20 years, as the issues that are near and dear to me have been in conflict with each other.

The voting face of America is changing. Gone are the days of our fathers and grandfathers when party affiliation made sense and mimicked our individual values. The values we hold dear now over shadow those of the past. The issues of today have obliterated those of yesteryear. Most importantly the faces of our voting public reflect the changes in our racial and social makeup. If any political party is to survive they must embrace change and move forward with the rest of the country.

Republicans, bolstered by their religious base, are sorely out of step with 21st century values and thinking. To hear the 'party of Lincoln' espouse a philosophy of hatred and denial of rights to any group is one example of the Republican missteps.

Gay Rights are such a little issue, my apology to the LGBT community for my choice of words here, compared to what is at stake for our country as a whole. The economy and foreign policy were the issues that really counted this year. But the Republicans decided to walk lock step and blindfolded into the arena of social issues where they are inept at best to perform. This charge was led by the religious faction of the party who have only one plank in their agenda; think like me or rot in hell.

A little southern home spun story about the effect of the religious agenda on a community. About 20 years ago the town I was living had a bill before the North Carolina legislature to allow liquor by the drink to be sold for the first time. When the bill passed new business opened and the promise of a new mall, movie theaters and restaurants were ours to be had. After approval the local ministers filed a law suite declaring the legislatures vote unconstitutional  because this issue was one that required a popular vote.

Well a vote was taken and the issue passed but in the interim the promise of new business had evaporated. Twenty years later we are still waiting for that mall and movie theaters. New restaurants have opened but are mostly fast food.

This is a case of the religious agenda stifling the growth of a community.

The Republican Party needs to break the grip of the religious right and move on to reinvent itself as a party that believes in the rights of every individual while holding onto their mantra of fiscal responsibility.

Randy

A Day To Remember And Reflect

On November 11, 1918 the fighting for World War I ceased and this is considered the official end of that conflict. It is why November 11 is the day we set aside to honor those who fought and especially those who gave their lives for this country.

We hear a lot these days about constitutes patriotism but on this day patriotism stands before us in old uniforms marching in parades and holding flags.No matter your political affiliation or beliefs about war these men and women deserve our respect and gratitude. Monday is not just another day off of work but rather a day that should be spent in reflection on what veterans have done for us and also a celebration of their accomplishments and the country they helped preserve for us.

Talk to a veteran, especially one who has 'seen the elephant' and survived the experience, and you will get a lesson in history no school could teach.

I have told this story before but it is worth mentioning again. I was in the San Antonio Texas airport with my son who was in uniform. A woman passing by stopped, a stranger,  to thank my son for his service. I realized that day that my son was no longer just my son but one of the many men that become all our sons or daughters when they put on that uniform.  It may have been the proudest day of my life.

The unfortunate thing about life is that there will always be someones son or daughter in uniform and acting on our behalf as protector and defender. Our duty, as those who are being protected and defended, is to stand with them when they need our help.

We owe every veteran our respect and admiration and there is no better way to show it than by thanking them on November 11.

Randy

The Dead And Insane Will Govern

The two party system used in the United States can produce some interesting results when we are allowed to press or mark our ballots for the 'straight party ticket'. It makes voting a no think operation that allows the 'dead' and 'leagally insane' to get elected.

In Florida, Alabama and Texas dead people were voted into office. In all these cases the person running for office had passed away prior to the election and apparently to late to change the ballot. So unless these people become zombies so they can take office; run off elections will have to be held to fill those positions. In a time when money is tight spending more money on a do over is maddening.

But even worse, in my mind anyway, in Illinois a person who has been declared legally insane was voted into a judgeship. You heard me right kiddies; a legally insane person will now be sitting in the courtrooms of Illinois.

I see room for some election reform here!!

While we are on the subject of election reform lets look at our process. It has been over a decade since we have had a president with a clear mandate to rule. By a clear mandate I mean a president who has been elected by a large majority of those voting. This past election the margin between President Obama and Mitt Romney was around 3 million votes. While 3 million votes seems to be a large number when looked at as a percentage of the 110 plus million votes cast it is not overwhelming at all.

Maybe we need to consider a system similar to many other countries in the world where coalition governments are formed to give the winning party a clear mandate. Of course this would mean abandoning a two party system in favor of a multi party one.

Food for thought!!

Randy

Happy Christmas Music!! On November 1~~WTF!!

I was headed out to do some shopping on November first and while riding in my car I turned on my radio and out came Christmas music. The station proudly announced that as of November 1 they would be playing Christmas music until the day after Christmas, 24 hours a day. AMAZING!!

What ever happened to the Holiday Seasons? In September Halloween stuff was put out followed by Thanksgiving stuff the day after Halloween. The week of Thanksgiving Christmas stuff was put out.

Now Halloween, Thanksgiving and even Christmas stuff find there way to store shelves in August. The way things are now from Labor Day through News Years day should be called The Holiday Season. A four month holiday with little significance beyond taking a day off in September to barbecue and drink beer, running around begging candy one day in October, over eating and watching football on a Thursday in November, giving each other gifts in Gods name(who we no longer recognize as being His day) and getting full blown drunk, running around shooting guns, banging pots and pans together and celebrating the start of a new cycle of holidays that hold little meaning to us anymore. Damn that was a run on sentence, lol.

I miss the days when we would concentrate on one holiday at a time. I miss the times when we saved all year to buy a Christmas gift that was purchased in December. Those days when Thanksgiving meant attending a football game followed by dinner with our entire extended families.

I miss taking my children Trick or Treating and being able to allow them to eat homemade treats made by neighbors I knew and trusted.

I miss heading to the Jersey Shore for Labor Day. Sitting on the beach and enjoying shore food. Later after the children came barbecues and games were the thing to do.

Now one holiday crashes into the next like waves against the shore. We are bombarded by advertisements touting that latest 'IN' Christmas gift. Families celebrate holidays hundreds of miles apart.

OUR CHRISTMAS TREES ARE MADE OF PLASTIC!!!!!!!

Yeppers kiddies I am a tad old fashion. Nostalgia over takes me at times and I crave for the holidays of my youth.

Unfortunately all that is gone. People of my generation hold onto our memories for as long as we can but, I must admit, even memories start to fade.

I crave a Christmas Day with my grandparents in control of the festivities, 30 or 40 people gathered for a dinner that starts at 1pm and is still going on at 8pm and all my cousins gathered in one place playing games and sharing our Christmas booty.

I would not even mind sitting at the Children's Table for dinner!!!!

Randy

Jeez Edith The Gays Are At It Again!!

Jeez Edith The Gays Are At It Again!! A statement that could have come straight from Archie Bunkers mouth to the ears of his befuddled wife Edith.

Supposed intelligent people, the jury is still out on their intelligence level, have accused gay men and women of causing hurricanes and other natural disasters. Such religious denizens as the Westboro Baptist Church, Michael Marcavage(of Repent America fame or infamy) and Pat Robertson have made an attempt to develop a correlation between sexual orientation and natural disasters.

So far the only correlation I have found is this graphic showing the movement of Hurricane Sandy in what might be described as Gay Pride colors. Hardly proof and definitely not based in anyone reality.

James Walworth, in his article 'Do Gays Cause Hurricanes', postulates that if gay man and women cause natural disasters, like tornado's, we would expect to find more homosexuals in states that have more tornado's. In reality this theory, which Pat Robertson subscribes to, does not hold water.

But statistics do show, according to James Walworth's research,  a correlation between the number of Christians in a given state and the number of tornado's that state experiences. HMMM!!! Maybe it is not sexual orientation that should have our attention but rather Christianity.

Based on this information I believe that a ban should be placed on all marriages between two consenting Christians in the hopes of reversing this disturbing tornado trend.

I would also call for a constitutional amendments that would severely curtail the civil liberties of Christians. They must be gathered up and retrained. Christians are not born they make a conscious decision to become a Christian and that decision is putting us all at risk for sever weather.

Further proof, at least to me, that gay men and women had nothing to do with Hurricane Sandy should be glaring to everyone.

First, no on in the gay community would have anything to do with shuttering Broadway. The loss of the Broadway musical would be devastating to their lifestyle.

Secondly, no self respecting gay male would be seen in the clothing worn by men after a natural disaster. I can not even begin to imagine Sir Elton John or Neil Patrick Harris standing outside their homes wearing worn out tee shirts and cut off jeans shorts telling some news reporter that "it sounded like a freight train roaring down on my trailer".

God does not cause natural disasters because he is mad at someone for their sexual orientation or their religious beliefs. Natural disasters, whether caused by climate change or a natural progression of seasonal weather changes or a frog farting in a Brazilian rain forest, are not caused by any one group of people because of how they approach or do not approach God.

There is a science to our weather. Natural occurrences of certain conditions that create particular weather outcomes.

They are not caused by a few gay men getting together in South Beach for a Sunday morning brunch or Oklahoma's only two gay men accidentally meeting at a high school production of Annie Get Your Gun.

Common sense kiddies!! Common Sense!!

Randy

Back And Well Rested!!

I am back from my time away from this blog well rested and feeling physically and mentally well. I used my time away to work on other writings and clear my mind of things that were beginning to bore me.

After my month long hibernation I am ready to face the day enthusiastically. So whats going on?

Well Obama and Romney are still running for president and lying to us at every turn. Not much of a change over the past month. Thank God this madness ends in less than a week.

It seems that all the news from the Huffington Post, one of my favorite sources of stupidity, either tells me that something sparked outrage, something emerged from some where, there are monsters all around us unseen and ready to strike and many people are making dating mistakes or ruining their marriages with poor performances in the bedroom. So nothing new there!!

My email tells me that my testosterone levels are low, my penis is to small( there may be a correlation between these two things),  that I can earn a high income at home from my kitchen table, someone in Malaysia wants to share their millions of dollars with me and I can lose weight by using a non invasive gastric bypass.

God I am excited about all that stuff. By he end of the year, if I follow all the instructions in my emails, I will have a monster penis, on a svelt frame, with  the ability to father multiple of children on a daily basis, I will have women lined up around the block to ride my new major monster while helping me spend my new found monies from my kitchen table business and the millions I get from my new Malaysian partners. Geeze I will actually look like my Second Life avatar.

Life is so good, lol!

On Face Book I am finding religion thanks to all my Christian friends who send out those inspirational side bars each day. Combined with my email information I am going to be a rock star.

Also on Face Book I am learning how to buy meats, cheeses, wine, ice cream, save money on my wireless bill, buy shoes, get a new credit card and publish one of my books all by myself. A well rounded life for me indeed.

All in all nothing has changed over the past thirty days. It seems while technology moves at light speed our lives change at a snails pace. I actually like it that way.

So tomorrow will mark a return to all my rants and raves about whatever interests me or pisses me off. I am ready to spew my views on every subject in the hopes that I can wake some people up or piss them off.

Lets the games begin!!!

Randy