What Does A Lesbian Bring To A Second Date?

It is an old joke with two punch lines:

What Does A Lesbian Bring To A Second Date?~~~Second Date? What's That?

What Does A Lesbian Bring To A Second Date?~~~A Uhaul Trailer!!

It is true, and this has been my experience over the 18 years I have been out, that holding on to relationships within the Lesbian Community are fleeting at best. I have always thought, and strongly believe, that because WE have not historically been allowed marriage that Fidelity was never a goal of many of us. No Legal Marriage means No Commitment means No Penalties for Infidelity leading us to Partner Flipping on a Whim.

It is just the way it was! But it was never the way WE wanted it to be. I have always wanted to have a Life Partner, recognized by society as my Legal Partner. I have always wanted a Family of my own, children, house, garden, white picket fence. Every thing that Heterosexuals have and that many of them take for granted.

Statistics from The Netherlands, the first country to legalize same sex marriage Ten Years Ago, are somewhat discouraging in that the Divorce rate of Same Sex Couples is high but no higher than that of Hetero Couples. The other thing that is somewhat disappointing is that Same Sex Couples are not taking advantage of their right to Legal Marriage. 

I take two things away from The Netherlands Experience; 1. That there seems to be no Societal Pressure for marriage in general, and I quote an Institute for Marriage and Public Policy Brief, 'Nine in ten couples plan to live together before marrying and two-thirds of cohabiting couples plan to marry "but keep postponing marriage.' 2. In The Netherlands Same Sex Couples have a Civil Union Option that affords them all the benefits of Traditional Marriage. In effect 'Marriage Lite'.

I believe that we will see similar results after Ten Years of Legalized Same Sex Marriage here in the USA.

What I do no think we will see is a Decline in our Moral Standards, as some predict, because of same Sex Marriage. Actually we should see an Improved Moral Environment as Same Sex Marriage takes hold and The Family Unit begins to grow.

I see Families, children, houses turning into Homes, gardens and white picket fences becoming the Norm and in time we will look back on The Dark Ages Of Same Sex Marriage and wonder 'What The Fuss Was All About.'

Love ya,
Night

This Morning I Had The Urge To Jump On A Delta Flight To Saudi Arabia!!

That's right Kiddies; This Morning I Had The Urge To Jump On A Delta Flight To Saudi Arabia!! So I packed my bags, got myself a MALE SPONSOR to chaperon me around, bought rwo lovely Saudi Arabian Modest Outfits and tucked my copy of 'IN PRAISE OF DHARMADHATU by Nagarjuna' into my travel bag to read on the flight.

When I get to the Delta Check In Area the they swiftly shuffle me off to Saudi Arabian Airlines as they are the Official Partner Of Delta.

I board the plane, settle into my seat, have a drink served and pull out my book to do some reading. I am a very happy camper. The Flight Attendant is quite nice until she notices what I am reading. She approaches slowly and even timidly as not to make a scene and quietly tells me that I will need to dispose of my book prior to going through customs because under a Delta/Saudi Arabian/Saudi Arabian Government Agreement; no books or religious material, other than those approved by under Saudis Muslim controled Law is allowed to enter the country.

From a recent article by Michele Chabin; 'Jews and Israelis, or passengers carrying any non-Islamic article of faith, will not be able to fly code-share flights from the U.S. to Saudi Arabia under Delta Air Line's new partnership with Saudi Arabian Airlines that is set to begin in 2012'.

'Saudi Arabia, which is governed by strict Islamic law, requires citizens of almost every country to obtain a visa. People who wish to enter the country must have a sponsor; women, who must be dressed according to Saudi standards of modesty, must be met at the Saudi airport by a man who will act as a chaperone'.

'Religious items such as Bibles that are not related to Islam may be confiscated at the airport'.

Full Article can be read at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/23/us-jews-not-able-to-fly-o_n_883568.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmaing8%7Cdl1%7Csec1_lnk2%7C72803

I understand Saudi Arabia's  concerns and they do not even have to be addressed here but for Delta Airlines t o accept Religious Excludism as a Business Practice is UNACCEPTABLE.  Hell it is UN-AMERICAN.

So upon landing in Saudi Arabia, and being the Bitch that I am, I promptly boarded a flight home with my book in hand and a Vow To Avoid S Delta Airlines Like  Plague.

                           And I spent good hard cash on this beautiful outfit!!

Love ya,
Night

What Is It About Religion That Makes Us So Angry With Each Other?

What Is It About Religion That Makes Us So Angry With Each Other?  I have asked this question of myself all my life and an easy answer has never availed itself to me.

I was raised in a Staunch Roman Catholic home but I never felt at home there. Through the years I have attended many Christian Denomination services, several Jewish services and have read about most religions both as a search for my own Spiritual Being and as research for my writings. I can tell you with all honesty that No Single Organized Religion has ever given me a feeling like I was at home.

I, and I have tried to understand, Wars Fought In The Name If God. It goes against my beliefs of what God wants for me and what I believe that God wants for His/Her Creation.

So over the years I have developed my own Inner Faith; borrowing from all the Religious Organizations that I have come in contact with over my lifetime. Since it seems to be a Human Trait to give name to our Religious Beliefs; I have labeled myself a Non Denominational Non Specific Monotheist. It describes my beliefs quite well.

Non Denominational  = No specific religious affiliation.
Non Specific  = No specific set of rules for my worship.
Monotheist = One God~~Only One God for everyone.

It may seem that I have over simplified religious beliefs or given a kick in the butt to your beliefs but, and this is my basis of thought, Each Of Us Needs To Decide Who/What/When/Where/How/Or If At All we are going to Worship God.

Religion, the belief in and reverence to a Spiritual Deity, is and should be a solitary journey that we make to find our own Peace and Comfort Zone.

I have no idea why the need to express all this hit upon me today. Maybe it is my work with Relay For Life. More likely it is my desire to understand the fragility of the Human Spirit to certain aspects of life.

This I do know; when you have a Spiritual Belief  that grounds you to living a good life your happiness is assured.

Love ya,
Night

Pippa Quest Ends!!!

Over this past weekend members of my 'Quest For A Date With Pippa Middleton' committee meet in secret meetings with their counterparts from Pippa's Inner Circle. The meetings were held at The Lamb on Lamb's Conduit Street, London. This site was chosen by Pippa's people because it affords it's customers 'snob screens' which afford such meetings with a bit of privacy.

During these discussions, which were heated at some points, Pippa's budding relationship with Prince Harry was revealed. This information was relayed to me immediately and taken under advisement by my Pawley's Island Home Committee.

Upon reflecting on all the information provided by my London Based Allies and on the sound advice of my Home Committee; I am ending my Quest For A Date With Pippa. This is a sad moment for me but it is the correct and righteous decision. One can not attempt to infiltrate the English Royalty with out causing problems for myself and for Pippa; whom I only want the best.

Even though I truly believe that I am Pippa's best choice and Harry's BETTER in all matters I must reluctantly relent from my quest.

To my many supports I say. "Do not despair. Do not fee like all is lost. Another Quest will be coming soon and I promise bigger and better things. All my committees, both domestic and foreign, will remain in place."

For now I will console myself in the arms of beautiful and loving women while I prepare for my future Quests.

Love ya,
Night

PS....There will be reports on my adventures with Sara Silverman in upcoming Blogs. An Adventure of a Lifetime with a beautiful and talented Gay Woman. SMILES BIG TIME!!!

                                                  YUMMY!!!

President Obama~~I Am Not A Fan!~~But Why Are Some People So Stupid!!

I am sure that if you read back through my Blog Posts you will easily come to the conclusion that I am not running around carrying an 'Obama For President In 2010 Banner'. But my dislike is not for President Obama, the man, but for his policies. And by the way; I actually agree with him on some things like the repeal of the 'Militaries Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy'.

But in recent weeks I have heard President Obama called a Terrorist, by  rapper Lupe Fiasco, and a Murderer, by Louis Farrakhan. Two people I do not feel hold any real expertise in anything except 'Aggitation'.

Louis Farrakhan is a long time hater of United States policy especially as it pertains to the Muslim World. Lupe Fiasco is a talented musician with many business interests but his view of the world is blurred by a chaotic upbringing that included training in how to use an AK-47.

I am sure there are things that Lupe Fiasco and I can and do agree on and I would love to have a discourse with him on a wide range of topics.

Louis Farrakhan , on the other hand and in my opinion, is a danger to our society. His right to say what he feels is protected by our Constitution and I would defend his right to state that opinion even while I was condemning it.

While Lupe Fiasco has a view as to how he would like the United States to conduct its business; Louis Farrakhan professes a philosophy that would damage our society, restrict our religious freedoms, destroy women rights and freedoms and change the way we live our every day lives.

The wonderful thing about being an American is that we have the right to say whatever we feel needs being said, within the confines of not starting a public panic, while giving others voice for or against those opinions.

What I find interesting is that the types of criticism, of President, that Louis Farrakhan and Lupe Fiasco have put forth; comes from People Of Color. To me this is a revelation worth noting. For far to long the so called experts on 'How People Vote' have told us that Black People walked forward and drank the Kool Aide President Obama was serving just because he was black. I have always believed that people vote according to what is important to them no matter what their socioeconomic or racial background.

I so love being an American!!!

Love ya,
Night

Father's Day~~I Love Him And Miss Him Everyday!!

Father's Day was always a special day at my house when I was a child. Dad was raising three children alone and doing a pretty good job of it. The lessons he taught me are still in use today. Early this morning I drove up to North Carolina to his grave site to place flowers but also to do something much more important. See each year, on Father's Day, Dad and I have a 'talk'. It is my day to fill him in on everything that has happened over the past year and believe me 'He is listening'.

Every child believes their fathers are special but mine was one of those fathers that was just that, 'Special'. He was a career military man who never used being a single parent as a tool to get out of the tough assignments. When I was young our home moved where ever he was stationed; if that was possible. I lived in Germany, The Philippines, Guam, Italy, South Korea and just about every US State that has a military base.

But when I got older Dad wanted me to  stay at home with my aunt and go to school. I also think that he thought that I needed the influence of a woman in my life. Cancer took my Mother when I was four years old and Dad became my life. He knew there were some things he could not do for a growing girl so at home I stayed. Even with us being separated he constantly taught me to be self reliant through his letters. In my storage area I have several boxes filled with his letters and things he sent me from all over the world.

It was very hard being apart and my aunt and I did not always see 'eye to eye'. I am sure my being taught to be as independent as possible had a lot to do with the many arguments my aunt and I had over the years. We did become great friends and her passing was quite difficult. I chatted with her today too.

I understand that the USA is one of the few countries that celebrate Father's Day. So to all the Dads out there who woke this morning to breakfast made by your children, home made presents, free use of the TV remote control for one full day and lots of hugs and kisses I say this to you;enjoy every second of YOUR day, fill yourself with all the love that is heading your way and as the day permits 'Have A Little Talk With Your Children' and teach them all you know. Because a time will come when the conversations will get one sided, like mine are now, but the memory of your TALKING with them will fill their hearts forever.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO EVERY ONE'S DAD!!!

Love ya,
Night

My Haircut Is Complete~~~Plus Some Stupidity From Corporate America!!

I reached my goal of $L100,000 last night and now I will be bald for a month. So if you see me wandering the grid stop and say Hello. I have a HUD attached to my head that gives information about why I am bald. Give my head a click!!

       I am so freaking cute,,lol!! Why is my head shaped like a triangle?

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I fully understand the ways of business. I fully realize that a company is in business to make money for its owners or shareholders if it is publicly held. But all companies need to have a sense of HUMANITY when it comes to their employees and their families.

Enter Haynes Management  of Massachusetts; who their stupidity and lack of support to a long time employee garnered this headline for themselves this week~~~'Man Gets Fired After Wife Gets Cancer.'

It seems that the wife of their employee of 13 years, Carl Sorabella , was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. Mr. Sorabella's request,who is an accountant, was to be allowed  to stay at home with his wife, to care for her, during the day time hours. He offered to make up his hours at night and on weekends. The response from Haynes Management  was a pink slip and directions to the door.

This man was not asking to be paid and not work. He fully intended to fulfill his obligation to his employer. All he really wanted was a change in schedule and some compassion. It seems  Haynes Management does not have the word Compassion in their corporate vocabulary.

But this is more than a story about a husband and wife fighting a horrible disease. It is a love story that is worthy of book and movie potential.

From the article; 'For now, Sorabella is on unemployment, and his wife is on disability. But the two have always been fighters, and have faith that they can get through this together. Kathleen was homeless when they first met. Sorabella was a bus driver and found her sleeping in the back of his bus. The two have accomplished much since then.'

'After they got married, he earned an accounting degree, she set up a homeless shelter and earned bachelor's and master's degrees in social science, the latter which she just completed three years ago. She's still paying off her $60,000 student loan.'

These are people that understand true sacrifice and true love. As long as they are together; their lives will be good ones.

Keep the Sorabella's in your prayers!!

And for all you Budding Accounts~~~Think twice before applying for a job at Haynes Management of Massachusetts.

Love ya,
Night

Lets Clean Out My Attic~~Or Have I Lost My Mind AGAIN!!!

So after sitting on an RFL Kiosk for 91 straight hours(and raising $L75,000); my mind seems to be drifting about between actual reality and what I perceive as reality. For instance I could have sworn that I spent the early morning hours fighting Zombies for watermelons. Silly Right?

It is in this state of mind that I came across some surveys and stories' offered by The Onion, that I thought I would share.

           My Kiosk, My Lasagna Dinner and a Coors Beer,,,,Thank You Sienna Thor!!!

                                No wonder so many kids are messed up!!!

Some of these are actually true and YOU KNOW YOU HAVE DONE THEM!!!

                 AND FINALLY A REAL NEWS REPORT FROM CANADA!!!

                                           CANADA REALLY!!!

RIOTS IN VANCOUVER OVER THE LOSS OF THE STANLEY CUP. REALLY!!  CANADA!! REALLY!!

Two thought came to mind when I saw this; 1. CANADA REALLY~~ ITS A GAME and 2. THANK GOD CANADIANS GET EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING~~THEY ARE NOT ALL ASLEEP!!

In truth, I love Canada. It is an amazingly beautiful place to visit and I have always been treated extremely well when I visit. I would expect this to happen in England or Germany or even here in the USA, for the stupidest reasons, but CANADA REALLY!!!

Love ya,
Night

Tidbits And A Pippa Update~~~I Can See You Are Excited Out Of Your Shorts!!

A GLIMMER OF LIGHT HAS SEEPED INTO MY 'QUEST FOR A DATE WITH PIPPA MIDDLETON'. That's right Kiddies; she may be ripe for the picking.

Last week one of my operatives, inside of Pippas Inner Circle, went shopping for, as the operative put it, "Nice Summer Frocks". While they were on this shopping outing new information about Pippa and her current boyfriend has slipped out. It seems that Pippa is confused about her relationships with her current male companion and her past relationships.

CONFUSION!!! CONFUSION!!! THE WORD IS LIKE AN ATTACK ORDER TO THE TROOPS!! When a woman gets confused about her male companionship's; a FEMALE LIAISON is just around the corner.

So all my committees are on HIGH ALERT and looking for an opening for me at the earliest opportunity. I will keep you posted.

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RELAY FOR LIFE

I have been sitting on my personal kiosk for 39 hours with 139 hours left to go. Raised so far $L70,000. That means that I will be running around Second Life Bald for at least 14 days. With my music events coming inn the next few days I may be Bald for a very long time. YEAH ME!!!

Stop by the Red River Saloon for a chat. You can not miss me. I am the Cheerleader sitting on an RFL Kiosk.  My SLURL~~~  http://slurl.com/secondlife/Lilith/185/243/84

Love ya,
Night

My Personal Quest For RFL Starts Today!!

As many of you know; I am the Captain of The SL Cure Chasers Relay For Life Of Second Life Team. During each RFL Campaign, over the past 5 years, I have Put my HAIR UP OR SALE as a way of raising money for the cause. Last year  my hair brought a little over $L50,000 and I spent 6 days BALD FOR A CURE.

This years event, 'NIGHTS ANNUAL HAIRCUT', will last 7 days with a goal of me being bald until the Final RFL Weekend in Mid July. I will climb upon my Personal RFL Kiosk and sit there 24/7 for a week starting today June 12 and ending at midnight June 19th.

Here is the deal!! I will go bald One Day for Every $L5,000 raised and if we go over $L100,000 I will stay bald until Opening Ceremonies Of RFL Final Weekend.

                            COME SHEAR MY BEAUTIFUL LOCKS


There will be Live Singers and DJ's  performing during this time frame but I will remain on my kiosk until the end of the week even when no shows are going on.  All shows are at the Red River Entertainment Complex.

Shows June 12(TODAY)

3pm  Shaye Dezno
4pm  Elizabeth Malloy
5pm DJ April McCoy
6pm  DJ Sue

Of course there will also be times when I am ALL ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS so stop by and visit for a chat or to make a donation. YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO BE ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS!!! The regular readers of this blog can attest to that fact.

The only time I will leave my kiosk will be for the EXPECTED SL CRASHES, for Roller Derby Practice and for those surprising RL things that pop up. Other than that I will be there waiting for you.

Stop by and keep me company!!

Love ya,
Night

If A Camel Farts In Australia Does The Temperature Rise In The USA?

If A Camel Farts In Australia Does The Temperature Rise In The USA? Yes Kiddies this is the question of the day and the great country of Australia is putting money toward studying the problem. I an article entitled 'Do Gassy Camels Add to Global Warming?', it states; 'Camels will be studied in central Australia to determine whether the animals' flatulence is contributing to global warming. 

'The study will monitor the levels of greenhouse gas emissions produced by the animals. It will also try to determine if dead camels emit even more pollution as they are decomposing.'

'The Northern Territory Government has given Charles Darwin University AU$10,000 ($9,671) to engage Aborigines to monitor camels' impact and carbon emission.'

'One wonders how so many sead camels can possibly produce enough gasses to effect a Global Warming  condition? How many Dead Camels are laying around Australia? A little further research gave me a possible answer.'

'Shoot a camel and save the planet, Australia proposes'
Sydney - The camels plaguing the Australian Outback could be turned into both carbon credits and dog meat, a government official said Thursday.
Under a scheme that looks set to pass through the Canberra parliament next week, bounty hunters could earn a carbon credit of 70 Australian dollars (75 US dollars) for each animal shot.

'They could be traded both in Australia and abroad to companies that need carbon credits because they are big emitters of pollution,' Parliamentary Secretary for Climate Change Mark Dreyfus said.
Australia has the world's largest herd of wild camels and each one belches out the methane equivalent of around 1 ton of carbon dioxide each year.

There are around 1.2 million and their number is doubling every seven years.

Parliament has bipartisan support for the scheme, with opposition agriculture spokesman John Cobb saying wiping out feral camels would be the equivalent of taking 300,000 cars off the road.

The ancestors of today's camels were brought from India as beasts of burden and let loose in the 1900s when motorised vehicles took over their work.
They compete for food and water not just with farmed animals like cattle and sheep but even with people.

Two years ago a thirst-maddened mob of 6,000 camels besieged Docker River near Alice Springs in the Northern Territory, ripping out water pipes and wrenching air-conditioners from walls in their desperation for a drink. Canberra put up the money for them to be shot from helicopters.
Northern Territory government wildlife officer Glenn Edwards warned last year that camels could turn the Outback into a wasteland because each one chomped through 3.5 kilograms of precious vegetation every day.

'It's a camel paradise,' he said. 'They're not like the Sahara Desert for example but if we let things go unchecked with camels, well, who knows, we might be looking at true deserts at some stage down the track.'

I am amazed at what we, the Human Race, will do under the guise of Global Warming. Australia created this problem and its answer to solving it is a Camel Slaughter. I do realize that this is a serious problem and must be dealt with but maybe if people act responsibly with animals these things would not reach crisis levels. Was it not Australia that had a Rabbit Over Population problem some time ago?

I do not want to seem like I am dumping just on Australia. Other countries, including the USA, have similar histories. Recently, I believe, that I have read about the USA having a problem with certain alligators and fish that are not indigenous to North America. As World Citizens we are all responsible as to how the other species that share the earth with us are treated.

Love ya,
Night

OMG!! Pippa Lost!! Are Those Judges F$$KING Blind Or Chubby Chasers?

Yes Kiddies; my darling Pippa Middleton lost 'Rear Of The Year Award'. And to a woman who I not only would not allow in my bed but one, in my opinion, would smash my bed with her BIG ASS. I am flabbergasted! I flummoxed! I am pissed off!!

I WANT  A RECOUNT OF THE VOTES.
I WANT THE JUDGES CHECKED FOR POSSIBLE BRIBERY!
I WANT THERE EYES CHECKED FOR LEGAL BLINDNESS!
I WANT THEM TO HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL EXAMINATION!

Look at Pippa's Sweet Little Pillow Of Love!!! Such a pleasant site. One that brings to mind long hours spent in admiration of the beautiful women's form. Round, Soft, so Freaking Kissable!!

NOW LOOK AT THE SUPPOSED WINNER!! OMFG!! Where I am from in South Carolina we have a saying to describe this type of BUTT. It looks like 'Two Pigs In A Poke Fighting To Get Out'. For my Northern USA readers and those from other countries; a Poke is a Bag!!

I am literally sickened by this choice!! There had to be a group of Chubby Chasers or Big Ass Lovers on this Panel Of Judges.

My committees have been instructed to start a campaign of 'Innuendo and Falsehoods' about Carol Vorderman. Yes her name is Carol Vorderman~~the owner of the BIG AND PROBABLY WRINKLED ASS!!!!! I am going to make her life a living hell!!

I will not allow anyone to besmirch my Beautiful Pippa. 'My Quest For A Date With Pippa Middleton' continues with new vigor.

NEVER HURT MY WOMAN!! I WILL GET YOU IN THE END!!

Love ya,
Night

God's Band Just Keeps Getting Better And Better!!

 It was always late on Thursday nights when they came to play at Red River. At a time when not many people were around but die hard fans would wipe the sleep from their eyes and stagger to their computers and come and listen to LizAday Solo & Xenno Moonwall. The Red River staff never missed a show. It became almost a religion for us to come to listen, dance and laugh with them. Every show brought us our favorite Liz and Xen songs but they always brought something new to try out on us and we loved it.

Yesterday Xenno Moonwall, Brian Eckels, passed away. But only after spending the night playing music; just the way you would expect a talented musician to do. Liz and Xen played at Red River for over a year. When I think back on those nights; I can remember Liz doing most, well all, of the talking,  and Xen quietly going up to the stage to play. I think it took nearly that entire year for Xen to say more than, 'Hello Night'. He did not need words. His guitar did the talking for him.


But beyond the music. Beyond the aura of people who live by entertaining others; there was so much more to these two people. Just tonight someone described their relationship as being 'perfect'. Yes they were perfect together. It showed in their music and it showed in they way that they interacted with each other. Just Perfect!

I do not think I will ever walk into Red River, on a Thursday night, and not have an image if them playing on our stage. We were truly blessed to have had the opportunity to witness them together.


Liz, there are no words that will comfort you tonight. Please know that the pain you feel right now is shared by your fans, your friends and all who have gotten to know and love you and Xen.


God Bless You! Yes the music has gotten better in heaven tonight!!!


Night(Lana)

Weinergate, Weinergate, Weinergate!~~~I Am So Tired Of This DICK!!

Lets take a Tally Of Things Going on That Are Of Importance To The American People! We are involved in 3 armed conflicts, the economy is tanking, storms are wreaking havoc with our population, the price of gasoline is out of control, congress is sitting around arguing with each other and posturing for the 2012 elections while doing no significant work, the value of the dollar is sinking and most important to my gastronomic health~~Ice Cream is getting more expensive at the same time as the the containers that it is sold in are getting much smaller.

Whew! If  I had said that vocally I would be quite winded now.

And with all that going on the main topic of discussion is Congressman Weiner's Twiter Photo Of His Penis. While the picture shows a quite impressive Male Member clothed in Boxer Briefs; this is a 2 maybe 3 day story but it has been going on for a week or more.

I understand the comedians doing bits about the tweets. I understand the jokes made on shows like The Colbert Report and The Daily Show. Their job is to take the absurd or obvious  and make it funny. I can handle their merriment.

But to have to sit and listen to, what I thought were intelligent and serious, news reporters continue a discourse on this subject has been disappointing and such a waste of journalistic time.

Believe me; no Weinergate Distraction will get my mind off the problems we face as anation. No Sarah Palin Bus Trip will hide the fact that we are in trouble. No amount of reporting of Rush Limbaugh's purported racism or President Obama's seemingly lack of concern about the economy will deter me from my concentration on OUR NATIONAL PROBLEMS.

If you take anything away from my RANT TODAY; let it be this~~DO NOT LET ANY DISTRACTION TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS AWAY FROM WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO OUR COUNTRY. DEMAND THAT YOU REPRESENTATIVES WORK TO MAKE THIS COUNTRY AS GREAT AS IT WAS AND AS GREAT AS IT SHOULD BE.

Weinergate will work itself out during elections in New York. Sarah Palin will keep rewriting history to her own detriment. All will be right with the world if we just STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT and not distracted by all the bullshit that is thrown at us.

Love ya,
Night

The Earth Is Pissed Off And It Is Not Afraid to Say So!!

That's right Kiddies; Mother Earth has had enough of our destructive activities and she is fighting back and handing out Eviction Notices.

I a recent article titled 'Planet Earth Doesn't Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave', Mother Earth has made it clear that the Human Race has over stayed its welcome.

"At this point, I think I've stated my wishes quite loudly and clearly," the Earth's statement to all of humanity read in part. "I haven't exactly been subtle about it, you realize. I have literally tried to drown you, crush you, starve you, dehydrate you, pump you full of diseases, and suck your homes and families into swirling vortices of death. Honestly, what more is it going to take for you people to get the message?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" the statement continued. "Get the fuck out of here. I want you to leave now."

That seems pretty clear to me!! But where can the Human Race go? With the cuts in the space program; leaving the planet will be tricky. By The Way; Mother Earth has always been a supporter of the space program as she has always felt the it would 'Get Us The Fuck Off Her Planet'.

In support of our eviction Mother Earth said; "I know your species has developed the technology to leave me, I've seen you use it before, so I'm asking you now, please, just take the hint already," read another excerpt from the Earth's statement, which added that it would really be best for all concerned if humanity were to "trundle off to some other biosphere for a while." "You can't possibly be enjoying this, can you? Honestly, you would have to be completely deranged or masochistic to continue staying here."

I have searched my mind to find place to go, and stay on the planet, that she will accept and leave us to our own destructive selves. See Mother Earth does not care if we destroy ourselves as long as we do not take her with us.

I believe that she will let us move to DETROIT as it is pretty fucked up already and she may not have the time or inclination to ever clean it up. But I can not imagine my self living there. Last I heard; there may not be enough housing for all of us because they are tearing it down to make room for a Major Drug Distributorship.

For now I will sit at my home, on beautiful Pawley's Island, South Carolina, and await my Eviction Notice. When it arrives I will throw myself the feet of Mother Nature and await her Mercy!!

Love ya,
Night

PS....Read more about Mother Earths interview at http://www.theonion.com/articles/planet-earth-doesnt-know-how-to-make-it-any-cleare,20639/?utm_source=recentnews

A Pippa Update And Saturday Tidbits!!

First to my 'Quest For A Date With Pippa Middleton'.  Things became a little murky and some what more complicated this past week. It seem that there is a good chance that Pippa will not joining the Oprah Network or any of Barbara Walter's events. It's all up in the air really. I discovered this article at http://socialitelife.com.

'Oprah Winfrey And Barbara Walters Are Fighting Over Pippa Middleton'; the last paragraph has given me pause as to a new base of operations in Chicago or New York. 'If you ask me, neither deal will happen. Middleton knows she has to watch her step because of her connections to the British monarchy. Any sort of exposure, even if it’s on OWN, would definitely be considered tacky. And appearing on American TV? Come on, now!'

So if Pippa is not coming to the USA but this is all up in the air; I have opened two 'Exploratory Offices' to cover all my basis. One in New York City and the other Chicago. They will be staffed by one person until we can verify that the rumors are true or false. In addition; I have expanded my London Office to three staff because the flow of information and actual negotiations have ramped up in light of the USA possibilities. My Parleys Island office will remain as the coordinating force between all our entities.

It was decided that we could afford the budgetary expansion as donations have been pouring at a faster rate than expected. I would like to thank 'The South & North Carolina Lesbians Coalition For the Conquest of Pippa Middleton' for their continued support.


TIDBITS!! God I love that word! TIDBITS!!!!!

~~~Last night I skated with my new Second Life Roller Derby Team for the first time. The Psycho Riot Bitches! They are talented, a riot and I am sure Bitches Of The Highest Order. I will enjoy my time with them. My first game will be on June 12.

That player, light blue and looking like she is going to kill me, is now my teammate. Thank God!

~~~Starting June 12th, 'Nights Annual Haircut For Relay For Life Of Second Life' begins. A week long event that culminates with me being BALD for a length of time that is determined by donations to my personal kiosk. My goal is to be hairless until the Final RFL weekend in mid July. All events are at the Red River Entertainment Complex and will feature live Music and DJ's.

I will be sitting on my personal kiosk 24/7 for the entire week barring crashes and my Roller Derby Game. All support is welcome!!!

Love ya,
Night

Doctor Death Dead At Age 83~~~Will he Need Assistance To Get Into Heaven??

Jack Kevorkian, known as Doctor Death because of his participation in some 130 assisted suicides, is dean as the age of 83. Doctor Kevorkian once 'likened himself to Martin Luther King and Gandhi and called prosecutors Nazis, his critics religious fanatics. He burned state orders against him, showed up at court in costume, called doctors who didn't support him "hypocritic oafs" and challenged authorities to stop him or make his actions legal.'

Oh I can see the scene at the Pearly Gates when Doctor Death arrives for his admittance to Heaven.

                          NO THIS IS NOT WHAT I PICTURE FOR KEVORKIAN!!!!!

                                 YES THIS IS MORE LIKE I PICTURE!!

So Jesus is checking off names and looking at the 'What Did You Do With Your Life Computer', at the Gates To heaven when  Martin Luther King  steps up. 'Martin what a wonderful life you have led and so many people have benefited by your teachings. I have a place for you here at my side.'

Then Gandhi steps up to the head of the line and Jesus is overwhelmed to have him there. 'Gandhi you spent your life speaking about non violence and peace. Your made the world a better place. I have a place for you here at my side.'

Last in line this day is Jack Kevorkian. Jesus studies the computer records with a worried look on his face. 'Sorry Doctor Death there is no room at my table for you.' Carefully Doctor Death is directed to:

                          His proper resting place~~The Entrance To Hell!!!

I know assisted death is not a laughing matter but I do not believe that assisting someone in taking their own life is the right thing to do. It seems immoral and against God Laws. This is just my opinion and we are all entitled to our own so trash me if you will. Kiddies you all know that I can take it.

Love ya,
Night

Popcorn Or Penicillin~~Which Is has Contributed More To The Quality Of Life??

Popcorn Or Penicillin~~Which Is has Contributed More To The Quality Of Life?? Yes Kiddies that is the question of the day. But it seems that the History Television Channel has answered it for us, in a one hour documentary, and has put Popcorn on a par with Penicillin as a great invention.

The article from The Onion Website;

History Channel Treating Invention Of Popcorn Like It's Fucking Penicillin

NEW YORK—An in-depth, hour-long History Channel special about the cultivation and manufacture of popcorn reverentially details the origin of the snack food as though it were as fucking miraculous as the discovery of penicillin, sources reported Friday. "It was then that an engineer from Indiana named Frederick Mennen—a quiet, thoughtful man who would later found the Jiffy Pop corporation—conceived the intricately interleaved foil enclosure that would become synonymous with popcorn for most of the 20th century," a voiceover declared in sober tones befitting a description of how Sir Alexander Fleming saved millions, literally millions, of fucking lives by developing the world's first antibiotic. "The addition of salt and butter added the final flavorsome coda to Mennen's masterpiece." The program was reportedly followed by a rerun of Ancient Aliens, a show that treats extraterrestrial influence on primitive cultures as if it were something that actually happened

Now I will be the first to tell you that popcorn enhances much of my life. It is a healthy snack food, it seems to make all movies better when teamed with a soft drink and it makes my evenings sitting at my favorite bar better by pushing salt and butter, especially when it teams up with peanuts, into my system and FORCING me to drink more beer. A delightful food indeed.

But when I fall down and cut open a part of my FANTASTIC BODY and INFECTION is a possibility; putting popcorn on the wound or ingesting it as a source of fighting infections seems quite fanciful and fraught with wishful thinking.

Give me Penicillin or any wide spectrum antibiotic for the infections and then feed me popcorn while I sit and watch television during my recuperation period.

So in my opinion, and I am just one person who feels the need to SAVE MY FREAKING LIFE FROM POSSIBLE INFECTION, Penicillin is a far superior invention than popcorn.

That's one persons opinion anyway!!

Love ya,
Night

Pulling A Rabbit out Of A Hat In South Carolina Is A Government Job!!

Over the past two weeks I have presented articles from The Onion Website; which are written for their humor effect and based on facts taken to absurd conclusions. PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! What is coming up is Fact taken from the annals of FEDERAL GOVERNMENT STUPIDITY AND MONEY WASTING.  Well I did make that name up, lol.

This particular article comes from biggovernment.com and is titled; USDA ‘Rabbit Police’ Stalking Magicians by Bob McCarty.

This one I did not make up, lol.

Bob McCarty writes ' I came across details of another effort being waged by the federal agency’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service. Earlier this week, I contacted Tim Sonefelt, a South Carolina magician, family entertainer and entrepreneur who broke the story three years ago.'

'What happens when your photo is taken for the newspaper with your fluffy little bunny rabbit? Great publicity, right? Well, not if a U.S Department of Agriculture agent buys a copy of that paper! Enter the Rabbit Police!'

'Yes, you read correctly, the RABBIT POLICE, and the above story is how my buddy Gary Maurer in Hilton Head Island, S.C., was “busted” in the summer of 2006!'

'Gary is a full-time performer working heavily during the tourist season at numerous resort areas and tourist attractions on the island. One day, the local newspaper showed up at the show and took some photos to accompany a short blurb about the tourist area. The photo that ran included one of Gary’s beautiful Angora Rabbits.'
'Imagine Gary’s surprise when, a couple of weeks later, a field inspector from the USDA contacted him explaining that he needed to have a license to use the rabbits in his show. He was so surprised, in fact, that he though it was a joke! He was quickly informed it was indeed no joke.'
'They made arrangements for the inspector to make the three-hour trek from Columbia, S.C., to Hilton Head and Gary went through the process to become licensed.'

“She was very polite and helpful in explaining everything. She also seemed to understand the lunacy of the whole thing. At the same time, I guess she has a job to do,” said Maurer. “She also asked me if I knew other magicians who used rabbits. I told her she’d have to find that out for herself!”
'Gary said she also informed him that she knew about SCAM, South Carolina’s annual meeting of magicians and had plans to show up there. As of yet, we’ve not had an opportunity to tar and feather anyone from the USDA!'
This is not an isolated incident and is a total waste of money. Hundreds of dollars wasted in a country that for all intent and purposes is BROKE.

'Nicl Propst's, a magician, wife walked in on this scene at her home after telling the USDA Inspector her husband was not at home. Mrs. Propst agreed to give Nick the note, and the door was again closed. Mrs. Propst was about to leave. When she entered their garage from their house, she saw a lady with her hands pressed against the glass of their outer garage door. The USDA “rabbit lady” was peering into their garage! If that’s not creepy enough, she also made herself at home and browsed around their yard before leaving. (Hum “The Twilight Zone” theme song here!)'

Please read the entire article and decide for yourself if this is not a Waste Of Tax Payer Money. Last that I checked we were BROKE!!!

http://biggovernment.com/bmccarty/2011/05/26/usda-rabbit-police-stalking-magicians/

Love ya,
Night