I Am Having Problems With My Pronouns~~He/She,,Her/Him

About a year ago my son came out as transgender. It was a shock. I had no idea. There were tears and sadness when I was alone. But then I saw how happy he was, pronoun problem again, she was and I set out to try and understand. She told me that she has known for many years.

So I wondered where I had gone wrong? How had I failed her? The truth is there was no failures or wrong turns. It was God's will and I have come to accept it.

Tomorrow she has her first operation in this transition. As any parent would be; I am scared and apprehensive. My mind wanders to her childhood.

Where is that little boy who could not say, 'it does not matter' but instead said, "It doesn't make a matter." Or the boy who named a road 'The Tractor Way' because it was always under construction and always asked me to drive that way to take him to his babysitter.  Or the little boy who was to shy to walk in a preschool parade, inside a gym, and I had to walk, holding his hand, in the parade with him.

I thought about these things yesterday morning and then had a good cry. That little boy is still with me. But now he is what she always knew was her truth.

Nothing is black and white. We live in a world full of colors. The brighter those colors are the more fulfilled our lives become. My son's colors have become so much brighter.

So tomorrow I give up my son and welcome my fourth daughter into my life. A child that I love and will cherish for all my days.

I can not promise that there will be no more tears but I can promise that I am proud of my daughters. I am blessed with four intelligent and successful daughters. No man could ask for more.

Welcome to the family Sara. My pronouns are straightened out now. Dad loves you very much.

Randy

Passion~~It Keeps Us Alive

"The saddest people I've met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand and hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last."-Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

Passion for something or someone is important for reaching your goals. Whether looking for success in your profession or finding that someone who completes you; PASSION is the key ingredient for success.

No one wakes up one morning and says "Today I am going to be a great artist" or "Today I am going to find my soul mate", then rolls over and goes back to sleep.  You need to develop a passion for who you are and how you go about your life, so it will put you on a path to achieving your life goals.

When I became a Physiotherapist it was because I had developed a passion for helping people. That passion took many years to ferment and grow. Years in the military medical corp, college and working in hospitals fed my passion. 

“Be the flame, not the moth.” -Giacomo Casanova

Passion leads to success and success hands you opportunity. Opportunity is the gateway to reaching out and grabbing your piece if the pie.

A wall leaner never gets the girl. Someone afraid to speak up in a meeting, and putting their passion on display, never gets a promotion.

Never be afraid to show your passion; whether it is for a certain someone or your profession. Let your passion draw people and opportunities to you. 

Let passion guide your life. Happiness will follow I promise you.

Love ya,

Randy

Laughing~~The Best Medicine

"I know not all that will be coming, but be it what it will, I will go to it laughing."- Herman Melville, Moby Dick.

Last night I sat and listened to my real life roommate laughing her head off over her Second Life boy friend making his first journey into wearing mesh clothes.  Up to that point she had not been feeling very well and not sleeping very well. I could tell that the laughing was making her feel better and she woke up, this morning, from a good sleep in a great mood. Still smiling.

Laughter is a key to our well being.

I love to laugh. Subconsciously I believe that I pick my friends because they make me laugh. No matter how crappy your day is going a good laugh will turn it around. I use to think it was a good poop but laughter is better. Well maybe both are soul and body cleansing, lol.

"I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh".-Maya Angelou. That is so true. Life is a serious matter but if all we experienced is being serious our lives would be short and not worth living. My friends, my roommate and my Second Life girl friend make me laugh every day. That is why I will live on for many years.

So get funny friends, watch a little of the Three Stooges, and finish everyday with a laugh. Lord knows there is plenty to laugh at all around us.

I will leave you with this~~During World War I Sophie Tucker was dating a combat pilot named Ernie. On one of his furloughs he went to see Sophia and as loves will do they rushed up to the bedroom. He helped Sophie off with her clothes and laid her down on the bed. Then he set her pubic hair on on fire. Sophie screamed, 'Ernie what are you doing?'

Ernie answered, 'When Ernie goes down he goes down in flames'.

Love ya,
Randy

I Can Not Find A Girl Friend In Second Life! Do I Need A Shirt?

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society", Mark Twain.

Have you ever wondered why some guys in Second Life are always complaining about being alone. There avatars are no different than any others(unless they want them to look strange on purpose). 

Yes it takes some money to dress well in Second Life. The availability of mesh clothes with hud driven fat packs allows you to look good without selling blood to a vampire clan for cash.

Looking good does not require a jacket and tie everyday. It does require a shirt. I realize all men want to show off their tattoos but if you dress well you will be able to show them off where it counts; in the bedroom. 

These are all examples of well dressed real life men(and yes they are all better looking and younger than me, lol).  I bet these guys do not sleep alone every night.

Second Life is no different. When your avatar looks good you feel good. You become more attractive to women. 

My advice~~invest in some decent clothes, put on a shirt, discover shoes and dress appropriately for your situation.

Before y'all ask, yes I do go about without a shirt on occasion but I am usually at a beach or event that calls for it.

Believe it or not; dressing well will improve your Second life experience. Dressing well shows that you not only have respect for yourself but you have respect for those around you.

No woman, in  real or second life, wants to be seen with a slob. 

Love ya,

Randy

Happy Fourth Of July!!!

  A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet.
    As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs
    The sign says:
    'SEX FROGS'
    Only $20 each!
    Comes with 'complete' instructions.
    The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybodies watching her.
    She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
    As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the
    instructions!'

    The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
    As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the
    instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is
    specified:
     1. Take a shower.
     2. Splash on some nice perfume.
     3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
     4 Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog
     to do what he has been trained to do.

    She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . .
    NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this
    point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the
    paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions . please call the
    pet store.'
   
    So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within
    minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and
    says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn
    frog just SITS there!'
   
    The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares
    'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:
   
    ' LISTEN TO ME!!
   
    I'm only going to show you how to do this
   
    ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!

Now that I have that off my chest,,lol. Thought you were going to get a patriotic pep talk? Silly Peeps!!

Yes celebrate today! But be careful. Stay sober. Eat to much. Do not blow up your grill. Love the time with your family and friends.

PLEASE REMEMBER  WHY WE CELEBRATE!!



Love ya,
Randy

One Click~~Friendship Ended

There are times that I really like the 'One Click Unfriending Method' that Second Life gives us. That one click, combined with the 'One Click Shut The Fuck Up Mute Button', allows us to remove a friend without a face to face argument and all the drama that goes with it.

I wonder how we could get that installed in our real lives? Maybe an APP for our phones.

I have been unfriended, in Second Life, for countless reasons. Some of which I even agree are good reasons. I should add here that I am not immune to using the 'unfriend button'. There is something that I enjoy about that power to flush a friend out of our lives like so much crap.

Do not get me wrong; I do get offended when I am unfriended, by someone that I like, for no apparent reason. That tells me that the person did not value our friendship the same way I valued it. It has happened to me in Real Life and in Second Life  and those who have done it have never been let back into my life. A lack of respect does not garner my forgiveness.

If people are good friends hang on to them. Cherish them.

And when you are with your friends protect that friendship like it was made of gold. Because a good friendship is golden.

Love you,
Randy

Not Every Word Spoken Should Be Considered An Evil Intent

I am taking a chance here as I expect that by the time I publish this blog I will be called a sexist, racist, homophobic pig. But those accusations may actually prove my point.

I will start out by saying that, yes there are racists, homophobes and and sexists in this world. They tend to be closed minded, ill bred people that cling to archaic thoughts and ideals.

Basically they are the purveyors of hate and vitriol aimed at giving credence to their point of view.

I use to say that I only hatred stupid people but even that has been matured out of me. Life should teach us that everyone has a point of view and that we need to respect it. We do not have to agree with it.

I have four daughters, one transgender, who practice tolerance and a spice for life that amazes me. When children are young we are responsible for their education. Teaching them that they are free to develop their own thoughts and ideals. As the grew they taught me that hate was pointless and a waste of energy. Love learning from my children.

The little victories of my families view of hate is being over shadowed by people applying some form of hate, through accusations of racism, gender bias, homophobia, sexism, and hate speech.

Political hate speech in this country is out of hand. Accusations of intolerance are bandied about like hot dogs at a baseball game.

In my mind accusing someone of intolerance is the epitome of intolerance. Professing hate for someone, for any reason, is a ridiculous exercise.

These days we accuse people of things just because we find there political and social views not in tune with our own.

Not every word spoken is spoken with evil intent. If you spend your time searching for evil intentions ,in all you hear from someone that you disagree with, your life is being robbed of valuable energy that could be used to actually be tolerant.

If you follow the crowd just because it might be the popular thing to do you devaluate your own ability to form your own opinion.

Tolerance and love are gifts we need to pass on to our children.

I do not have the time to hate. What ever time I have left, in this life, screams for me to show tolerates for everyone.

Love you,
Randy